Runaway Home
by Yellow-Eco-Sage
Summary: After the death of their parents, Lukas is forced to take care of his little brother, Emil. But when their house is brought to flames, the two are forced to leave and survive out on the streets. And along the way, they soon meet a Danish runaway. DenNor.
1. Chapter 1: That Day

EDIT: Ayo, so I figured it was time to completely rewrite this atrocity of a first chapter, so here's the new and improved 2014 edited version. Enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, blah blah blah, this is for entertainment purposes only, blah blah blah, please don't steal my work, blah blah blah…you guys know the drill.**

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><p>A chilling sensation tinged my cheeks with the nip of ice cold water as I took a handful of it from the sink and splashed it across my face. Frigid droplets trickled down my face in determined streams, sliding down my neck and then down my chest. Steam had collected in packs against the mirror of the bathroom, coated in the condensation of fresh shower water; and when I wiped away the steam, I saw that my eyes had gotten much more dull since I lasted looked in the mirror. There was not a spark was left in them from their many eyes of being worn from tragedy. There never had been a spark in them in the first place. I huffed, taking a chuck of damp hair and shading it over my eyes. If anything, pale blond looked far more appealing than dull blue. Still though, it did not amount to how tired I had grown.<p>

_Now how could my parents be proud of somebody like me?_

Today was a day I did not like to remember in great detail. After two years, though, I remembered it in vivid and impeccable detail, able to recall every moment from the darkened sky littered with flashing lights to the sounds of sirens screeching from miles away. Unlike my brother, I was old enough to remember such a thing, and with it came a sober wave of depression that I seldom felt in a situation where depression was something I couldn't afford to experience.

I ruffled my hair, running my fingers through it as I styled it to my pleasure. On the sink sat a little golden cross, one that I gently slid into the hair on the left side of my face that separated my bangs. My parents had given me when I was thirteen years old. They thought it would be great for keeping the hair out of my eyes, and it did. People thought I looked like a girl with it in, having hair that went clear past my shoulders. I sighed, wrapping the towel tighter around my waist as I exited the bathroom. I tied my wet hair into a short ponytail. It really was getting long at this point, wasn't it?

Across the hall, a calendar hung on the wall, one with Icelandic horses on it upon Emil's request that we buy it. The date that been circled thoroughly with a streaky red marker, and my stomach began to churn as I realized this would be the first time I would be bringing him with me in our annual December 14th tradition.

I sighed hard as I stood outside the door, knowing what was to come next.

"Emil, can I come in? Have you dressed yourself yet?" I asked, tapping on the door lightly. I was almost nervous about doing this. Maybe he didn't remember. I hoped he didn't remember.

"Yeah, I'm all dressed. You can come in, big brother." Emil had mellow, yet cheerful voice to him, something you wouldn't see often in a four year old. I wondered how he could be so cheerful at times think these, thinking how two years ago I couldn't even fathom a smile, let alone a laugh. The perks of being young, I figured.

I stepped into the room, only to see Emil sitting on the floor, ramming his toy trucks together whilst making obnoxious sound effects. Typical for an average child. His eyes lit up when he saw me, and he put down he trucks and smiled. They were the exact same shade of blue as mine before I had grown tired.

"Hi Lukey," he said happily. I wasn't particularly fond of the nickname he had given me, but I let it slide, with him only being a child who didn't know any better than to call me what he wanted to.

"Hey Emil," I started, swallowing hard. "Do you—know what today is?"

My little brother tipped his head to the side slightly, bewildered, and looked over at the horse calendar hanging up on the wall in the hallway. "It's December 14th," he said, still confused.

I nodded. "Right, but do you know what we get to do on December 14th?"

Emil stalled for a moment, thinking, before his face lit up and he smiled. "We get to see Mommy and Daddy today!"

My stomach dropped at those words, and I felt my hands suddenly go numb and shaky. I didn't expect him to remember.

"Yeah, that's right. We get to see Mommy and Daddy today," I replied shakily, feeling the lump in my throat begin to grow. He had no idea what was to come.

I realized I was still in my towel. "I'm going to go get dressed. You stay in here and get your coat on and we'll go, alright?"

The child nodded, putting away his toy trucks while carrying his stuffed Puffin, whom he appropriately named Mr. Puffin, in his mouth. He really loved that Puffin a lot. After he was born, our parents had given it to him to play with. Even as tattered and torn and nasty as it was now, he still carried with him everywhere, and he loved the thing half to death.

I had to smile at that; at his innocence, as I walked out of his room and into mine. I threw on an old, navy blue long-sleeved shirt, and put on a clean pair of jeans and boxers. I hadn't noticed I had started to cry until I looked in the mirror again, my face damp with what was either droplets of water from my shower, or actual tears. Sighing, I wiped them away before releasing a long, somber sigh.

_I can't act like this. I have to be strong for Emil so that he isn't sad as well and put on my best optimistic act,_ I thought, zipping up a thick, dark jacket. I wrapped an old cream scarf around my neck, and walked out the door. _But it isn't going to be even close to easy…_

Emil was already standing outside my door when I walked out, coat on with Mr. Puffin wrapped in his arms and a soft smile on his face.

"I'm ready," he chirped, his voice lisping as he clutched on to his precious Puffin even harder. I chucked slightly. He never did learn how to say his "r's" quite right.

I gave him a faint smile, picking him up as he wrapped his arms around me tight to prevent from falling. "Alright, we'll go then," I told him. "But make sure you're warm enough. I don't want you catching a cold out there. It's almost below zero degrees Celsius today."

"I'll be ok, Lukey. Mr. Puffin will keep me warm," The boy claimed innocently, holding the old stuffed animal in my face in prove his point.

I could only smile at that, despite being a little bit disgusted by the old Puffin. "Alright, but if you get sick you only brought it upon yourself." I replied playful, wrapping my scarf around him and kissing him lightly on the top of the head. Emil needed that scarf more than I did.

With that, we walked out the door with him in my arms, a gust of icy wind brushing against our faces as I opened it. He buried his face in my chest in block out the cold, and I smiled as we continued walking. The kid really could be cute at times.

Even as it was near freezing, we were still forced to walk to our destination. It wasn't too far, and I could stand the cold easily from having lived in Oslo my whole life. Emil had gotten used to it, as well, after having to come with me everywhere for two years despite the temperature outside.

Two years ago, I decided I was responsible enough, and vowed to take care of my little brother to prevent from being separated from him. Thus, to afford the money I needed, we were forced to sell our car to be able to pay for our food and shelter. I dropped out of school, and when I wasn't working I was taking care of Emil, making sure that when I was gone he was under the watchful eye of our neighbors.

A light snow fell as we walked, fresh snow crunching from beneath me. Emil opened his eyes, smiling at me as his eyelashes fluttered against the snow. He stuck out his tongue, catching a flake on it and giggling as it melted. The boy looked up at me once more, wanting me to do the same, and I followed his lead by sticking my tongue out and letting a cluster of soft flakes dissolve onto it.

It made me happy to see him the way he was, so joyful and carefree. It was my duty to protect him, and I'd do it at all costs, even if that meant putting my own well-being in danger. I couldn't risk being separated from him, not now when he was still so young and I was finally learning to move on. Yet since I was still only sixteen, our neighbors came to check on us every once in a while, making sure we were alright. I didn't know any of my other relatives other than my dead grandparents, so it was either take care of my little brother on my own or become a foster child. But I really didn't mind at all, actually. Emil was like the little flame that kept me going every day. As long as he was happy, I was happy too.

As we trudged along, I found myself humming the soft melody I knew by heart. It was a sweet song, one that my parents used to sing to me when I was little, and that I would sing to my little brother on some occasions. Emil began at making an attempt to hum along too. He turned back to me after tasting a few more snowflakes on his tongue, smiling, and nuzzled closer to my chest. I could tell he was getting cold by his slight shivering, yet I was as well, so I had to give him credit. It had been so long since I had been to the cemetery that I wasn't for certain how many blocks away it was.

Just then, over the horizon, I could see it- a single headstone, then three more, and then finally over twenty. I cracked a slight smile seeing all those headstones, feeling that lump grow even stronger and more powerful at their sight. We were here.

"Emil, we're here," I told him softly, and he looked up to see where exactly we were. He began to smile and jumped down from my grip, running toward the graves to begin his search. It wasn't very often he got to see his mom and dad. I didn't get to either, though, and I was nervous. It had been a year since I had been here, two years for my brother.

"Lukey, where's Mommy and Daddy?" he asked me, turning with a curious gaze in his eyes. I turned sad at that, the smile I had gained from his excitement disappearing behind a solid frown, Emil could see this, and he too began to develop a frown. Today wasn't exactly as "happy" time for us.

"Come here, Emil. They're right over here."

Emil nodded, grabbing onto my hand tight and walking with me toward the two headstones.

I had memorized those graves by now, even if it was once a year that I got to see them up close, but I always saw them whenever I would walk into town. And as we reached them, the pain came flooding back as Emil's frown shifted into something much more haunting: a smile. He didn't know.

_Aleksander Bondevik._

November 18th, 1968-December 14th, 2008.

Death by fatal car accident.

He will always be loved.

Our father's grave.

_Elina Bondevik_

May 7th, 1970-December 14th, 2008.

Death by fatal car accident.

She will always be love.

Our mother's grave.

/(EDIT ENDS HERE.)

Emil fell to his knees, dusting off the grave gently as he scooted toward it. It was as painful watching him as it was building up the strength not to cry.

"Hi Mommy, hi Daddy, "he whispered. When he saw me crying, he started to cry as well. I was surprised he actually knew what all of this meant, as he was still so young and even younger when our parents died.

I had explained to him what had happened, telling him all kinds of stories about our mom and dad, and what gravestones even were. And as he saw their names on those stones I felt he had gotten the message. "I hope you're doing ok in Heaven. I miss you." He held onto both of the stones, trying to hug them, and I stifled a sob in the back of my throat. More than anything, the most agonizing thing was watching my brother in pain, rather an experiencing my own pain.

"Lukey…are Mommy and Daddy coming back?" he asked shakily, sniffling in the process.

That's when the bullet of the day finally pierced into my heart.

I shook my head. "No, Emil, they're not coming back."

The child's eyes grew even sadder an desperate, and two more frozen tears streamed down his face. "But why not? Why aren't they coming back, Lukas?" He let out an involuntary sob as he began pulling on the hem of my pants in desperation.

Lukas. He only used that name, my real name, whenever he was being serious. And right now, he was the most serious I had ever seen him. What would it take for me to be able to explain such a thing to a child? How could I tell him that our parents wouldn't be coming back?

I couldn't take the grief any longer. "Because they're gone, Emil. They died a long time ago. They can't come back, brother, I'm sorry." I choked out the words, my voice cracking as I let out silent sobs.

I fell to my knees, plopping into the snow as they had finally given out from shaking, and lowered my head. Uncontrollable sobs escaped, and hot tears rushed down my face, numb from the cold.. "I'm sorry, Emil…"

I had failed. I was weak.

Moments later, I felt something fall against my body gently, and I looked up only to see a saddened Emil hugging me.

"It's not your fault, brother. Mean people made them die. Please don't cry, Lukas. If you cry then I'll cry, too," he consoled, squeezing me tighter as his voice shook and he began to cry harder.

I hadn't failed. I wasn't weak. We had each other.

"Thank you, Emil," I whispered as I hugged him back, pulling him close and holding him tight, sobbing quietly with him.

And with that, we held onto each other in front of our mother's grave and our father's grave, sobbing in unison and carefully whispering comfort to each other.

"Lukey, what were Mommy and Daddy like?" Emil asked him as I tucked him into his bed. He looked so sweet and innocent.

I sighed, trying to remember even what my mother and father were exactly. After all, it had been two years. "Well, Emil…they were very nice people, and they cared about us a lot. All they wanted was for us to be happy and safe, and to live a good life. You'll understand when you're older.

Emil nodded, pausing for a moment before he thought of his next question to ask me. "Was Mommy pretty?"

I looked down at him, and smiled. I knew that question well enough to answer it, and the answer was always pleasant to me. I looked just like my mother.

"Yes, she was very pretty. Mom was Norwegian, and Dad was Icelandic."

I ruffled his hair a bit. "You look just like Dad, and I look just like Mom. I can tell you're going to grow up looking just as handsome as Dad was."

The boy giggled, his pudgy cheeks reddening as I poked them gently.

"And I bet you'll be as pretty as mommy!"

I chuckled at him, kissing him gently on the forehead, and then wished him good night. "Good night, Emil. I'll see you in the morning." I said, walking towards the door as I turned off the light.

Just as my hand reached the handle, he spoke again. "Wait, Lukey. Can you sing me that song Mommy and Daddy always used to sing to me? The one that you were humming today?"

Turning around back around, I looked at him, seeing that smile pleading for a song. I sighed. "Where is this coming from, Emil? I haven't sung to you since you were a baby."

"But I want you to sing to me now."

"You know I can't sing.

"Yes you can, I hear you all the time through the bathroom! You have a really pretty voice. Please, Lukey, just one song," he begged.

My cheeked reddened at his words, and although I knew he meant well, I was still embarrassed. I had sung in a choral ensemble at my school before I dropped out to take care of my brother, and I hadn't sung anything in year. Nevertheless, I gave in, walking back to sit on the side of his bed.

"Ok, fine, I'll sing you one song. But only one, then you have to go to bed, ok?"

Emil, perking up as he waited like an anxious puppy to hear the song.

I took in a deep breath, and began to sing. "_Du er min sol, min eneste solskinn. Du gjør meg glad når himmelen er grå~. Du vet aldri kjære, hvor mye jeg elsker deg. Så vennligst ikke ta mitt solskinn unna~,_" I whispered, placing one last gentle kiss on his forehead as I realized the song had made him fall asleep. "Good night, Emil. I love you."

With that, I exited the room quietly, smiling to myself as I left, and whispered as I walked down the hall. "Good night, Mom and Dad. I miss you guys."

It wasn't until I had opened the door to my room that I realized I was crying again.

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><p><strong>AN: Yep. I'm going back and re-editing chapters 1-14. Finally got myself a decent translator so any language errors will be fixed as I continue editing.  
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**Don't worry, no significant plot changes will be made, as I'm going back to primarily fix the writing done by my fourteen-year-old self and to tweak up a few characters issues that have been bothering me for a while. In short, Lukas isn't going to be such a whiny little bitch. Please be patient with my editing, as chapter 18 will not be up until after everything is up to date. Thanks, y'all.**


	2. Chapter 2: We're on a Mission

*Twitch, twitch* After watching HetaOni and Fullmetal Alchemist all week long, I FINALLY got some of my sense back and decided to update. …My mind is about to freaking explode right now…and I finished writing this at 2:40 in the morning last night…Um, so, yeah…enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p><em>December 14<em>_th__, 2008_

_I was fourteen again; living in my own little world in the frigid, icy weather. Emil, two at the time, was lying on the ground, rocking back and forth holding onto his feet, and sucking on that dirty Puffin in his mouth._

_He was innocent; aloof of everything that I'd be worrying about for the past hour. Did children as young as him even worry at all? He seemed so happy, like everything was perfect. And I could only envy being him at the time._

_Instead of being happy and worriless like my little brother, I stared out the window into the icy night. Where white snow blanketed across the land, and it all seemed so serene. Yet I could only worry. Where were our parents; they said they'd be back over an hour ago. Something wasn't right, I knew that for a fact, and the rising anxiety and nausea would only push higher at the thought._

"_Lukey, why you look out da window?" Emil asked me, his dark eyes curious. He's just learned to talk at the time, and didn't know very many words. It was one of the first sentences I'd ever heard him speak._

_I turned to him, giving him a fake smile and a happy façade to make sure he didn't worry as well. "It's nothing, Emil, I'm just a little bored is all. You have nothing to worry about; just go back to playing, alright?"_

_He nodded, and continued to play with his feet. The kid hadn't changed a bit._

_I was watching over him for the night while our parents went out for their anniversary. I was fourteen, so I knew I was old enough to watch over him by myself. Besides, it was only for a couple of hours that they'd be gone. And we would have gotten a call if anything dramatic happened!_

_It seemed like perfect, and coincidental timing as that thought occurred, as the doorbell had rung not a moment after._

_I sighed, telling my brother to stay put while I answered it, wondering who exactly would be here at such a late hour at night. Yet as I opened the door, there in front of me stood Kya, an old friend of mine and neighbor, along with her parents. She was crying, with tears frozen too her cheeks and her blue eyes misty, with both her mother and father clinging onto each other in sorrow. Something definitely wasn't right._

_She looked up at me, sniffling, as two more tears trickled down her face. "Lukas…" She whispered._

"_Kya…what is it, why are you crying? What happened that could possibly be so bad?" I asked her quietly. At that, her mother buried her face in her father's chest, as he soothed and shushed her then looked up at me._

_More tears fells from Kya's eyes, as she immediately flung onto me in embrace, and sobbed. "Oh Lukas, I'm so sorry!" She wailed, letting out a violent sob in the process._

_I stood there confused and scared and she cried and hugged me, attempting to hug back but found myself unable to move. What was going on?_

"_W-What's going on? Why are you guys acting all sad and stuff? Answer me!" I demanded, feeling frightened tears well up in my eyes._

_The girl's father stepped in and sighed, looking me dead in the eye. It was a look I had never seen before coming from him, a look of…sorrow and pity…_

"_Lukas…I'm sorry, son, but…you're parent, Elina and Aleksande, they…died in a car accident earlier tonight. Somebody hit them dead on, and they were killed instantly. We just heard news from the hospital; they called us because they didn't want you two to be alone when you were told. I'm so, so sorry, Lukas…"_

_At that moment, my body had completely shut down. I stood frozen to the ground, speechless and unable to breathe, completely dumbstruck as I felt my body go numb and weak. This wasn't happening; it couldn't be!_

_Anger bubbled up under my skin, and once my senses had finally snapped back, I immediately pushed Kya away, stumbling backwards and gripping onto my head. An intense amount of nausea rose up in my body, and it felt as if I were about to throw-up right then. _

"_No…no it can't be! Stop lying to me, they're not dead! This isn't funny!" I cried, hot tears rushing down my face._

_The man sighed, walking closer to me and putting is hand on my shoulder. "Lukas…I'm afraid we're not lying. I'm so sorry, son, I wish we could do something to help."_

_I could only stand there in utter shock for several more seconds, not even daring the process the entire situation through my mind. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't! Why would God make them die at a time like this; it just wasn't' fair! Not when Emil was so young and I was only an adolescent! None of this could be true!_

_Not knowing what else to do or how else to react, I clung onto the man, squeezing him tight and gripping onto his shirt as tears poured down my face. Vicious sobs escaped from my mouth, and I began to sake untrollably. He shushed me, rubbing my back comfortably as I cried._

_Just then, I head the slightest pitter-patter of footsteps from behind me, and turning around I saw a bewildered Emil standing at the entrance of the door. "Brother, why are you crying?" He asked me, saddened by the sight of my tears and sobs._

_And that was the last thing I could remember before I had fallen and completely blacked out._

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><p>I woke up that morning in a cold sweat, panting heavily as I jolted upright in my bed. I immediately turned to the calendar hanging up on my wall, observing that date closely.<p>

_December 15__th__, 2010-Wednesday._

I let out a sigh of relief, slowly lying my head back down on my pillow, and shutting my eyes.

_It was just a dream…_ I thought, placing a cold hand against my damp face to cool it down. Burning saltwater rolled down it and onto the sheet, and I couldn't tell if it was a tear or sweat. A mix of both, maybe? All I knew was that my head was throbbing, and I needed a hot shower to clean off my sweat-drenched body. _A bad dream at that…_

As I turned to my right, I looked down only to see Emil clinging onto my arm, nuzzling up against my chest. Sighing, I stroked the silver hair out of his eyes. _He really needs to learn to sleep in his own bed…I'll let it slide for tonight._

I smiled at him, kissing him lightly on the forehead as I got out of bed, trying my best not to wake him up and to let him sleep. He needed it, after all.

Trudging groggily to the bathroom, I watched from the window outside the door as a light snow fell from the sky and danced across the white blanket that had already been lain out for quite a while now. At this rate, we'd have snow until the end of March! But neither Emil nor I really cared. He liked the snow, and by now, I was used to it.

After warming myself up with a nice, steaming shower, I stepped out and dried off my dripping body, trying my damp hair back in a short ponytail just as before. Before I could even step out the door, I took one last look at the boy I saw in the mirror. The fourteen-year old me; the happy me, and the person I wanted back so desperately it hurt.

I glared at the reflection, clenching my fists as I was about to shatter that mirror into a thousand pieces. Scowling, I raised my fist to take the first punch, yet as I tried I only stumbled farther towards the sink. Why was I doing this; why was I even _thinking _about punching that mirror? Doing that, it would only just put me in an even worse situation; with a crippled hand and sticky blood all over the floor. If I did that, there was no way Emil would ever be able to help me; he couldn't drive or reach the telephone on the wall! Besides, if I was going to support him, it was time I started setting a good example. And it would be just too risky to pay for another mirror if I broke it.

I sighed, staring back into those dull, dark eyes, glaring one last time as I walked out the door. "If I don't learn to love myself more soon, then…I'll probably just crumble and leave Emil here all alone and by himself…" I mumbled under my breath, tying the robe around my body and quietly walking downstairs.

My stomach gnawed and begged for food, wanting to at least get something nice to fill it up. Yet standing in front of our refrigerator, I noticed almost nothing was left inside; only a bag of what looked like rotten lettuce, an empty ketchup bottle, and some mayonnaise.

Hadn't I just gone shopping the week before? That's what it seemed like, but judging from the emptiness, it had apparently been longer than that. I sighed, blonde bangs falling over my eyes as I lowered my head. "Guess I'm going to have to do some shopping today…"

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><p>Emil and I trudged along through the snow as we walked back from the market, him singing happily to himself close by my side, as I carried the two bags of food we had bought from the store. The temperature had finally gotten warmer, being at about six degrees Celsius, although soft flakes of snow still fell from the sky.<p>

Harsh winds bit against my bare ear, as my hair was tied back, and I flinched at its cold touch. My hands were full, so I couldn't exactly untie the ponytail. And Emil was already carrying a small bag too, Mr. Puffin sitting on the top, so that was out of the question. I sighed, trying to resist the cold and get used to it, as our house was still a good fourth of a mile away.

"Lukey, why don't we have a car?" Emil asked me, staring down at the bag he was carrying.

I sighed. He didn't quite understand yet, did he? Even two years later, it was all just a haze to him for being so young. "Well Emil, it's because we don't have very much money, and can't pay for a car. I don't even have my driver's license yet! Don't worry, the cold will go away soon."

The child nodded, continuing his singing, which apparently seemed like it was to Mr. Puffin. I'd been smiling a lot lately seeing him so happy, and it was a nice way to lighten the mood, especially when times were as tough as were right now.

I continued to smile at his singing, closing my eyes slightly and looking upward to let the cold snow fall on my face. It wasn't until I heard the sound of a voice I recognized that brought me back into focus.

"Hi Lukas, hi Emil!" The voice sang, as footsteps followed after it.

Looking up, I watched as Kya, our neighbor of two years, ran towards us with a smile glued to her face. Her family had moved from Denmark in next to us that June of 2008, just before mine and my brother's parents had died. Ever since I first saw her, there was something about her that I always found so…stunning…

With her bright blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight, and her long, dark brown hair bouncing behind her as she ran. Kya had been adopted from Greenland as a child, with her olive skin-tone watching perfectly with her face. I wasn't much of a person to really be attracted to most things, but there was something about her that I just found so…wonderful.

"Oh, um, hi Kya." I said, feeling a tinge of warmth make its way onto my chilled face.

She smiled as she ran towards us, stopping in front of me with a bag in her hand. "Hey Lukas. I haven't seen you guys in a while. How are you; I was just on my way to the market." Kya chirped.

"I'm good. Emil and I were just coming back from the market; we were completely out of food. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks!" She turned to Emil, crouching down to meet him at eye level. "Hi Emil, is you brother being nice?" The girl said to him sweetly. She always did love children; especially Emil since we were so close with her family.

He nodded happily. "Yep! Miss Kya, Lukey also said something about having a crush on somebody! I think he said it might have something to do with you…I overheard him say it in the bathroom this morning!"

My face flared a thousand shades of burning red, and I immediately nudged him lightly on the arm to get him to shut up. I knew he didn't know any better; he was just a child, young and naïve. But he could at least keep it to himself or ask me about it first.

Kya's cheeks dusted pink, and she chuckled at his words. "Oh, did he know?" She said, shooting a glance at me as she stood back up. I could only look away, not wanting either of them to see my embarrassed face. "…So Lukas…how was yesterday? I know it was the 14th; did you guys do anything special?"

I turned back around as soon as my face had finally cooled down, trying to at least give her a fake smile. "It was…good; I can't believe it's actually been two years already. We went and visited our parents' graves, kind of emotional if you think about it." I replied. The last time that girl had ever seen me cry was that time two years when I was first informed they were dead, and I couldn't let her know that I did know. Not after trying to be so strong.

The girl sighed, shifting her eyes to the ground. "It's ok to admit it, Lukas. Nobody's here to judge; I would have been that upset if I was in that situation, too."

So she actually could she right through me. Was it really that obvious? As a long and awkward silence set it, with the only sound being to howl of the wind, I felt it was only necessary to speak up what I had to say. "Have you guys found your brother yet?"

Kya looked up at me at that, seeming shocked almost, then sighed and lowered her head once more. "Not yet. It's been so long since he ran off; I don't think he'll ever come back! It seems like there's nothing we can do about it now…"

Seeing her hopeless expression, I smiled in an attempt to cheer her up. "Don't give up now, Kya, I'm sure you and your family will find him. Besides, he can't be _too_ far right? After all, Norway _is_ quite a ways away from Denmark." I encouraged.

"Yes, but…it's been over two years now, he could have easily made his way over there by now. It's either that, or he's…dead…"

Although I didn't want to upset her, the girl's point could very well be true. About two years ago, right after they had moved to Olso, Kya's older brother ran off, and they never heard from him again. I never knew that guy's name, but what I did know from her was that apparently their father got angry at him one night, and he just got sick of it and…left.

I remembered just how depressed she was those next few months, having been so close to him, and that there was nothing Emil, our parents, or I could do. Yet that's why I knew she was always there for us after our own tragedy; because she knew how we felt after our loss. And I couldn't thank the girl enough for that.

"Don't worry, Kya, he's probably still alive out there. You never know the truth until it's actually proven." I lied, trying to comfort her. He probably was dead, yet it was a fifty-fifty chance.

Kya smiled. "Thanks Luke; I owe you guys a lot. Well, I'm going to go now so that I don't have to keep my parents waiting. It was nice talking to you guys again; I'll see you later!" With that she walked off in the opposite direction of us toward the market. Yet there was one last thing I had to say that was nagging me in the back of my mind.

"Wait, Kya," I stopped her, and she turned back around with a bewildered look on her face. "I just wanted to say…t-thank you, for everything that you and you're parents have done for us in last two years. Sending us to school, helping us out and providing us when we're in need, it's really…it's really helped us. These past years have been hard, but we've managed! I should be the one owing you." I admitted, feeling a warm touch of blush make its way onto my face.

Her face had the exact same reaction, and she smiled. "You're welcome; it's no problem, really! Your family helped us when we were still sad about my brother running away, so we're just repaying the favor. Well, see you guys later!"

I smiled and waved as she left, letting out a long sigh as Emil and I continued walking towards our house. Yet as Kya disappeared over the horizon, that's when I smacked my brother softly on the arm once more.

He winced. "Ow, hey, what was that for brother?" He cried, giving me a sad look.

I smirked, yet I knew all too well that I wasn't exactly too impressed with his words back there. "Next time you tell Kya, or anybody else something like that, you'll only get smacked on the arm harder.

With that, he was quiet.

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><p>Yeah, Norway is a little bit OOC in this chapter…I promise, he'll be back to is ever-so-awesome tsundereness in the next few chapters. Hehe, I knew exactly where this is going~. :) Well, summer's getting closer to being over, and I still need to finish my three other stories. So if there isn't an update for a while, I'm sorry, but I'll try my best to update as much as possible. Until then, reviews are always welcome! ...Aaaaand chapter 3 shall be held hostage until said reviews...<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: Black Haze

Le Chapter 3 is here! I forgot to mention in the last chapter, Kya is my Greenland OC, and she's Lukas's age. I've also noticed quite a few of you love little Baby!Ice. Well, his cuteness is about to go way up over the next few chapters depending on how I write them. :) Enjoy, and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p>I sprawled my feet out on the couch, lounging as I gently lay my head back, with Emil wrapped in my arms and sitting on my lap. The dim light of the fire I had light made its way into the darkened living room, with the heat radiating our cold bodies. Kya sat quietly in the armchair next to me, sipping the hot cup of tea I'd made for her.<p>

It was relaxing moments like these where everything seemed so perfect and serene; like nothing bad had even happened and the days around this time were completely normal. Just the three of us, sitting peacefully by the fire, watching as white snow fell across the land. It was comfort to me.

Kya came over almost every night to check on us and see if we were doing alright, due to her parents' orders to keep an eye on us. Being such close friends, almost like family you could say, I'd settled on wearing some old blue jeans and a half-open white button-up shirt that night, with my hair worn down to warm up my ears. I wanted to at least look half decent, yet I really didn't mind. We both knew each other well enough to stop caring anymore.

Setting her drink down for a moment, Kya spoke up, breaking the thick silence that surrounded us. "I noticed your hair is getting pretty long, Lukas. Have you ever thought about cutting it off?" She asked quietly, a faint smile placed across her face as she stared down at the mug.

I picked up at strand of pale blonde hair and observed it. It lay just below my chin, with side-swept bangs covering my forehead and eyebrows, and some longer strands falling over my eyes. The Nordic cross in my hair pinned back most of it, but that was only on the left side of my face. I guess I wasn't the only one noticing it's length.

"I was thinking about it, but I don't think we can really afford it right now. There are more important things we need than a haircut." I replied, stroking Emil's soft silver hair as comfort to get him to fall asleep.

"Oh, well I could pay for you to get one, you know. Or I could do it for you." The girl brought up, instantly naming over different ideas. She took after her mother; always interested in cosmetics. "I could maybe cut it above your ears, and make your bangs a little bit shorter so that it doesn't completely cover your eyes. O-Or I could do something where they both a separated on equal side with a braid on either side; that would-"

"Kya," I cut her off, waving her off to know I was fine. "It's ok; I don't want one. I'm perfectly fine with the length I have now. Besides, I don't want to be a burden to your family; you guys have already done so much for us. And I think it's Emil who really needs the cut. He's only four and it's only about an inch shorter than mine!" I said, ruffling the mop of my brother's silver hair as he snuggled closer to me and let out a content breath.

Kya stopped, chuckling a bit as she took another sip of her tea. "Well, ok then, you can keep it like that if you want to. Besides…I-I think you look kind of cute with it at that length, heh heh." Rose sprinkled across her face, and she averted her eyes as a smile made its way onto her face.

Scarlet tingled my cheeks, and I gave her a cool smile before doing the same. "Oh, well um…t-thanks, I-I guess." I said nervously, feeling my heart begin the race as another awkward silence began to set in. Trying to make our situation as comfortable and normal as possible, I began stroking Emil's hair once more, with him hugging me gently as he rested his head against my chest.

My friend smiled at this, getting up from her seat and leaning down next to the boy. "You really do love him a lot, don't you?"

I nodded, kissing him lightly on the forehead as I noticed him begin to doze off, holding him closer to my chest as a soft grin painted across my face. "Emil's all I have left. If I were to lose him…I don't know what I'd do…"

She looked up at me, noticing the hint of sadness that made its way into royal blue of my eyes. That thought…it sent chills running down my spine. If that were to ever happen…I don't think I'd ever be able to go on living anymore…

Kya reached a hand out to caress my brothers face, stroking it softly as he nestled closer me, smiling at her cold touch. I knew she loved him a lot as well, but there was nobody else in the world who loved him as much as I did. Nobody.

As the three of us sat in content silence, taking in our surroundings and the heat of the blaze from the fireplace, the sudden sound of banging coming from outside made its way into the room. My eyes shot from Emil to the front door, and then to Kya's sudden worried expression. Just by looking at her, I could tell she wanted me to check it out.

"Stay here." I whispered to her, setting the boy in my arms gently on the other side of the couch before I made my way quietly towards the door. I slithered around the corner, gripping onto the metal baseball bat I had hidden next to it as a weapon as I peered out into the darkened night. Everything seemed pitch black from what I could see, and even turning on the porch lights didn't do much in helping find the cause of the banging. I figured it was just a raccoon scrounging for scraps of food in the garbage, but what kind of idiot raccoon would be out in the freezing night in the middle of winter…?

I cracked the front door warily, hoping that the lights had scared off whatever animal or intruder was there before. It wasn't until I heard yet another bang that I knew they hadn't gotten the message.

Looking back at Kya, I noticed she was holding a now awake and groggy Emil, who was oblivious to the whole situation.

"What's going on, Miss Kya?" He asked her sleepily, rubbing his tired eyes.

She shushed him. "It's ok, Emil, just go upstairs, alright?"

The boy nodded, walking to the top of the stair confused.

She now turned to me, whispering if she should call the police, but I waved it off and gave her a reassuring smile that everything would be alright. Our neighborhood was fairly safe, so it wasn't too often when something like this happened. And whenever it did, we immediately took action, especially with a child such as Emil around.

I didn't hear anymore bangs as I opened the door a little bit wider, yet what I did see was a faint figure; a person at that, which immediately sent a wave of nausea running through my body. I didn't get scared too easily, but I had absolutely no idea who the intruder was, or whether or not they were armed. Either way, the weapon was probably much more powerful than my simple baseball bat.

Taking in a long gulp of air and bracing myself, I threw the front door open, screaming as I ran out into the night to scare whoever was out there off.

"Get out of here!" I yelled, waving the bat in my hand frantically as I looked around the yard. Turning towards the side of the house, I made out a tall figure, a teen at that, sprinting away, stumbling through the snow as he tried to retreat. From what I could see through the dim light was what looked like garbage in his hands, with his wild blonde hair bouncing as he ran. His black trench coat trailed behind him as he disappeared into the horizon, revealing the pair of rather tattered jeans he was wearing. This teen…must have been a runaway.

Letting out a huff of chilled air and a sigh of relief, I made my way back inside, only to be met by a pair of frightened cerulean eyes.

"What was that; are they gone? Is it safe to go back outside?" Kya asked frantically, peering over me to see the yard.

I nodded. "Yes, it's safe now. Whoever was out there is gone now, and whoever it was just looking for some food. From what I could make out…he looked like he was a runaway…"

The girl's eyes went wide at this, again trying to see over me to look outside. "Wait, a runaway? My brother; do you think it was my brother?" She asked, blue eyes curious with a slight glimmer of hope glistening in them.

Sighing, I shrugged. "I don't know; I didn't see their face. But whoever it was will probably be back tomorrow, and we'll be able to tell then."

All hope faded at that, and she sighed as well as she shifted her eyes to the floor. "Oh…" Looking over at the grandfather clock ticking steadily into the corner of the room, she turned back to me. "Well, I guess since it's getting pretty late, I should probably head back home to tell my parents you guys are alright. It _is _safe to go outside, right?"

I nodded reassuringly, telling her that whatever was out there was gone now, and the girl smiled and giggled lightly at that. "Well, I'm off then. Thanks again for the tea, Lukas; I'm glad you two are still holding up well.

"Any time."

Kya hesitated for a moment before leaning up a placing a soft kiss of my cheek. Hot blush spread rapidly across my face, burning against my flushed face with my ears feeling as though they were on fire. My heart seemed to pop out of my chest, throbbing in my ears as all I could do was stare in awe.

Scarlet fell across her face as well, as she giggled as my embarrassment and walked out the door. "See you guys tomorrow."

"Y-Yeah…"

As the door shut quietly behind me, I found myself only able to stand there in shock. I didn't get embarrassed very easily, nor was it much for me to show any emotion at all, but that…that nearly made me lose all sense to reality.

"Oooh~." I heard Emil sing from the top of the stairs, completely forgetting he was there watching us the entire time as he laughed.

My face flushed even more at this, yet I put on a playful smirk, charging towards the stairs. The child sprinted towards his room, cackling wildly as he slammed the door. "Lukey loves Kya~, Lukey loves Kya~!" He sang innocently.

I sighed, walking into the room as he jumped into his bed and crawled under the covers.

As I crouched down to meet his level, I chuckled slightly, feeling the stained blush never leave my face. "You just can't tell her that, alright?"

Emil nodded, locking his lips and throwing the key to the floor. "I promise." With that, he flung his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. "I love you, Lukey."

I smiled, doing the same as I placed a light kiss on the top of his head. "I love you too, Emil. Sleep well, alright?"

He nodded once more, making himself comfortable as he dozed off, and I walked out the door quietly and shut off the lights.

Although, as I made my way into my own room, I felt as if I were forgetting something…something important…

I had apparently been so caught up in the moment that I hadn't even realized the candle and fire I'd left burning downstairs…

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><p>I awoke later that night to the sound of the shrilling cry of an alarm going off, and the heavy scent of smoke filling the room. I opened my eyes hesitantly, turning to the alarm clock sitting next to my bed. It wasn't even light out yet…<p>

I coughed as the smoke trickled down my lungs, first light puffs, then into a violent coughing fit as I sprang out bed. Looking towards the door and the sliver of intense heat and light that came in from under the crack, with my senses finally kicking I realized exactly what was going on.

_Fire._

My first instinct was to get the hell out of the room, coughing hysterically as I placed my hand on the handle of the door. Without even realizing exactly how hot it was, I immediately pulled it away, letting out a yelp of pain as I cursed under my breath.

With it heating up as rapidly as it was, that's when I knew the fire was dangerously close to my door. Even worse, _at _my door.

Panicking, my second instinct immediately kicked in, and I felt tears rush to my eyes due to both the smoke the filled the room and the immense amount fear that was rising within me.

"_EMIL!_"I cried, banging on the door as tears streamed down my face. "_EMIL, WAKE UP! ANSWER ME, PLEASE! WE HAVE TO GET OUT RIGHT NOW!_"

Through the violent coughing and the shrill sound of the smoke alarm, I could make out the faint sound of Emil's voice, terror and fear flooding in it. "L-Lukas! Help me!" He yelled, and I could tell he was crying just from the shakiness in his voice.

"_EMIL, IT'S OK! JUST STAY IN YOUR ROOM, OK, I'M COMING!_" I yelled back.

"P-Please…_HURRY, LUKAS!_"

Frantically looking around the room for something to open the door with, I found my eyes resting on a blanket sitting at the end of my bed. Letting out another loud cough, I sprinted for it, buttoning up my shirt as I covered my mouth with it to prevent anymore smoke from getting in.

I threw the blanket over my shoulder, running for the door again before I remembered one last thing I had to get. Throwing the pillow off to the side, I stared down at the picture that lay under it, sighing softly as I placed it in one of the pockets on my jeans. I could never leave that thing behind, not when it was one of the only memories I had left since that day two years ago.

Running towards the door again, I used the blanket to open it cautiously, thick smoke brushing against my face as I opened it, blinding my eyesight as it burned against my skin. I had yet another coughing fit as I fell to my knees, watching as intense heat and flames surrounded me.

The entire place was covered in nothing but swirling orange and yellow, a dark cloud of smoke layered above my head. All I could manage to murmur out was a plead to God to keep Emil safe as I crawled into his room, coughing into my arm as my breathing grew short.

"E-Emil…Emil I'm here! I'm coming in, alright!"

All I could hear from the other side of the door was a soft sob and a muffled "ok", as I attempted to open the door. I immediately rethought this as I remembered what happened earlier, observing the stinging scar that lay on my left hand.

I grabbed the blanket slung over my shoulder, placing it over the handle as I tried to get it open. Yet as I tried to get it to open, my worst nightmare began to unfold. The door wouldn't budge. Panic washed over me as slammed into it, continually trying to shake it and push it open.

"Oh no…oh God no. Not now, this _can't _happen now! P-Please…E-_EMIL!_"

I threw the now burned blanket off to the side, ramming into the door to try to get it to open. No matter what, I had to safe my little brother, even if that meant putting myself in such danger and peril as we were in now. If anything, he wasn't the one who deserved to die in this situation, as he was still so young. And right now…I'd do everything in my power until the last drop of energy and life was faded from my body to save him.

"_EMIL, T…THE DOOR WON'T OPEN! BUT I'M COMING; I PROMISE I WON'T LEAVE YOU! JUST…JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL STAY ALIVE, OK?_"I screamed a little too frightened than I wished as more tears fell from my stinging eyes.

With that, not knowing what else to do, using everything drop of energy I could muster, I kicked the door open, this time it actually flying into the wall, opened. Running into the room, I found my brother huddled in a fetal position in the corner of his bed, covering his hands over his ears as tears streamed down his face.

"MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP~!" He wailed, crying viciously and shaking like a leaf.

I rushed to his side, lifting him into my arms as I held him tight and rocked back and forth. "Shhh, it's alright, Emil; I'm here now. Please don't cry…" I soothed, stroking his hair just as before. As scared as I was, I knew I had to be strong to help him.

The child buried his face in my chest, clinging onto my shirt. "L-Lukas…I-I'm scared…W-What's going on?" He asked in between sobs, coughing as little as smoke began to pour into the room.

"Fire, Emil. Our house…i-is on fire. We have to get out right now and call for help." I told him as he looked up at me, violet eyes glistening with tears. I found mine doing the same as I pulled him into a hug, officially losing it as I began to cry. "Oh thank God you're alright, Emil. I-…I don't want anything to happen to you; I love you so much. W-We have to get out of here and call Kya…just please follow me and it'll be ok."

He nodded, tightening his grip on Mr. Puffin as I held him, slinging a fresh, new blanket over my shoulder to open the front door with. "Cover your mouth so that you don't breath in any smoke, alright? I'll try to get us out of here was fast as we can."

Emil responded by burying his face in my chest once more, letting out a soft whimper as his tears stained my shirt.

I led us out of the room, covering my mouth with my other hand as I popped my head through the smoke. With my brother in my arms, I couldn't crouch down, and there was no way I was ever going to let go of him. Yet as I stumbled towards the stairs, the nightmare unfolding suddenly got even worse.

The stairs had been blocked by flames, and were already beginning to crumble right from under us.

_We're screwed…_ I thought, looking around for some other exit. Jumping out the window was defiantly out of the question, because being on the second floor, even landing in a pile of snow would do very little to break our fall. And at times like these…I couldn't afford to have either of us getting hurt…

I looked over the railing, noticing our couch had still yet to be brought to flames, and was directly under us from where we were standing. That's when the idea struck me; a stupid idea at that, be maybe our last choice if we wanted to get out. Besides…the drop didn't look _that _far down…

"Emil, listen to me," I said quietly, forcing him to look at me as I lifted his head. "I'm going to throw you onto the couch, ok? I promise you won't get hurt if you land on it right; just stay right there once you make it and I'll be down there right after."

Emil's eyes went wide, and he shook his head and let out another whimper.

"Emil, it's our last choice; we have to. I promise you it'll be ok, alright? Just think of it as landing on a cloud, and you'll make it down there safely."

The boy squeaked out my name as I held him over the railing, watching as his knees shook vigorously as he looked down in fear. "On the count of three, I'm going to drop you down there, ok? Ok…one…two…" I hesitated. "…Three."

With that, I dropped him, watching as he screamed and bounced onto the couch. I let out a sigh of relief as he climbed down, thinking he was perfectly fine and ok. But couldn't be any more wrong.

"Lukas…m-my arm is bleeding!" He cried, holding up the gash as he let out a howl of pain.

_Oh crap…_ I thought, remembering the sharp side of the end table that lay next to the couch. He must of slashed his arm against it on the way down.

I began to panic again as I climbed over the raining, attempting to calm myself down. "I-It's alright, Emil, we'll fix it up later, but we need to get out of here _now_!"

My mind went blank as I let out a long gulp of air; thinking to myself that landing on the couch would be almost like a suicide fall. It…scared me…

_One…two…three…_

Then, I began to free fall, stumbling down onto the couch and landing on it with a thud. Luckily, I had missed the deadly point of the table, but what made the situation ten times worse was that Emil hadn't.

I grabbed onto him, nearly coughing up a lung as I accidently breathed in smoke, which brought me to bring my little brother's face back into my chest to prevent him from doing the same thing.

The door was just a couple of steps away from my reach, luckily not on fire yet. Sticks of burning wood fell around us, and I knew that at any moment, the house would begin to crumble. With Emil clinging onto my shirt, I rushed for the door, kicking it open and stumbling out into the frigid night.

I threw the child into the cold snow, landing next him as I cooled off my singled hair and stinging hand. He was breathing heavily, as was I, coughing up a good amount of smoke as I patted his back.

Soothing him as he cried, with my own tears freezing against my face, I watched as Kya came sprinting towards us down the street.

"LUKAS~!" She cried, nearly tripping over her feet as she slid on the ice. "LUKAS~!"

"KYA, WE'RE HERE!" I called out waving my arms so she could see us.

The girl made her way towards, falling to her knees as she skidded across the snow. "Oh my God, Lukas, what's going on; what happened? Are you guys hurt at all?" She asked, obviously terrified as she looked up at our burning house and gasped.

I coughed once more before speaking. "I-I'm fine…but Emil cut his arm real bad…"

She observed the boy's cut, watching as the blood drenched the snow crimson. She looked back up at me, terror overflowing from her body.

"G-Go…Go call the fire department, Kya. We'll be fine here, just please…hurry…"

Kya nodded, hugging my briefly before getting up and retreating back towards her house.

I covered Emil's wound with the jacket I'd worn to bed, wrapping him in the blanket despite it being burned. It was still warm, and even warmer now due to the fire, and I knew he needed it keep himself warm. The thin long-sleeved shirt he was wearing now just wasn't enough.

I held onto him tight, rocking back and forth as I ran my fingers through his hair as we cried. "I-It's ok now, Emil. W-We're safe…" I told him, my voice muffled with terrified sobs.

That's when I remembered the picture I had taken with me. I searched my pocket for it, pulling it out and staring at it as hot tears began pouring onto it. That picture...was the last thing I had now of our parents. It was our Christmas card two years ago; the one we'd taken just days before the accident. They looked so...happy and pleased, with me holding a giggling Emil in my arms as I managed to give a lopsided smile. I could only wish and envy those times to return...

Emil looked back towards the house. "B-But where are we going to live now, Lukas? W-Where are we going to g-go? C-Can't we just stay as Miss Kya's house?" Emil asked shakily, and I shushed him.

I sighed, shaking my head. "No, Emil…we can't stay as Miss Kya's house…"

This time, he looked up at me. "B-But why not?"

"Because, Emil…Because it would be too much of a burden to stay there. They already have their own problems to worry about. Besides, this place is already bringing back too many bad memories." I took one last good look at our burning house before the blaze exploded and it crumbled to the ground. "…We have to leave…"

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><p>YAY, LONG CHAPTER IS LONG! :D N'awww, I had fun writing that LukasxKya scene. :) I didn't really want the fire scene to be this early in the story…but I didn't know where else I'd put it if I made it happen later. Besides, I had to make it come a little bit earlier because of the later chapters that are soon to come. *Le sigh* But, we start school in about two weeks, so bye-bye summer…and bye-bye the time I actually have to write this thing. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the next chapters soon with school going on, and I'll probably be updating on the days I don't have very much homework, or on the weekends. I still have All Barriers Broken too, but that's almost done so I can focus on this. Yet, I make no promises on early updates. :( Until then, make me a happy person by reviewing and whatnot. I enjoy my reviews very very much! :)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: Nowhere in Particular

GAH, I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T GET THIS UPDATED EARLIER~! D: I've been really busy with school, so I haven't had much time to write at all. Plus, I was kind of stuck on writer's block with this, too. But anyway, here's chapter 4! :D The next chapters I think won't be NEARLY as angsty as the first few, so that's at least good. …But trust me, angst is defiantly coming. Enjoy, and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p>Emil clutched onto my hand as we walked down the street, and I could feel him shaking and whimpering quietly. I couldn't tell if it was because he was scared or because he was cold, but I took off the blood-stained jacket I used earlier for his wound and placed it on his shoulders.<p>

We'd been walking around town for only about four hours as dawn and broken over the horizon, and rays of golden sunlight peeked out from the tips of the mountains. Instead of sleeping, we walked, trying to cover as much distance as possible for the day to find a warm place to settle and a meal to eat.

I only had a limited amount of money in my pocket, that would solely be used for good purpose. It was apparently smart of me to be reluctant and hesitant taking out the night before, because it was times like these where we desperately need it.

Emil and I lived in a small town just outside of Olso, rather old at that, and just a few miles of walking wasn't much considering most of everything was fairly spread apart. Yet the town was small; something you'd pass through in the blink of an eye, so I knew the environment pretty well to know that it was a decent and safe place to live. Yet even knowing that, I still had the urge to protect my little brother at all costs.

"Lukey…I'm cold, and my throat is really dry…" The boy brought up as we walked, letting out a faint cough in the process. "I need water…"

I sighed and crouched down to pick up and handful of snow, the cold touch nipping at my fingertips. "I know, Emil, mine is to. The next town over isn't too far from here, so we'll just have to drink the snow for now."

He sipped at the snow gently from my hand, coughing so hoarsely to the point he had stumbled to the ground. Being a child as young as he was, his lungs were affected much worse than mine, which made the situation we were in at the moment almost helpless. I couldn't lose him.

I patted Emil's back, soothing him softly as he continued to have a coughing fit, groaning as soon as he finished. "Lukey…I don't like this; I can't breathe very well…"

"It's alright, Emil, we're almost there. Sleep; you need it." I told him kindly, picking him up as he clutched onto the warm jacket.

Every shop in our hometown was closed with it being so early in the morning, so we had to make our way to the next town to get something to eat, which was about fifteen miles away, and three hours by foot since I had to walk slow due to Emil's little feet.

I'd patched up his wounded and bleeding arm with a small wrap of gauze I'd found floating around, and cleaned and washed it off briefly to prevent it from getting infected. I was surprised at how strong he was being, with that arm having to be just agonizing and throbbing with pain. Taking him to the hospital was out of the question, because at the moment I didn't exactly have six hundred dollars to spare. Basically, it was up to us to help each other, or we were out of luck.

Yet as we walked even further, actually able to see the tip of a building, I began to grow more and more worried as time passed. Emil was bound to get sick if we stayed out here too long, and his coughing due to the amount of smoke he inhaled wasn't helping our case.

_Maybe we should have just stayed back with Kya's family…_ I thought as I gently rocked the child in my arms, trudging through a thick pile of icy terrain. _But that wouldn't have helped, I'd just feel guilty and shameful holding such a burden and looking back at that old house…I think it was best for both of us to finally get a fresh start…_

As I noticed my little brother clinging onto my shirt tighter and sobbing quietly to himself, that's when I found there was no other choice but to sing him to sleep.

"_Du er min sol, min eneste solskinn. Du gjør meg glad når himmelen er grå~. Du vet aldri kjære, hvor mye jeg elsker deg. Så vennligst ikke ta mitt solskinn unna~._" I sang to him softly, rocking him like a baby as he let out a faint sigh and dozed off to sleep.

I kissed him gently on the head, looking straightforward now and noticing the town had been closer than I thought. Each building was visible now.

Smiling, I continued to walk forward, keeping quiet to prevent from waking Emil up. A thick, eerie silence set in, with the only sound surrounding us being the howl of the harsh wind. I pulled my hair of my ears to cover them from the nipping air, and although it was daybreak now, I couldn't help but feel the creepy tension surrounding us.

Seeing the sight of about a handful of people wandering around the streets let a little bit of comfort settle in, and I figured we were getting at least somewhat close to Oslo by know. That's where I wanted to settle down in; the outskirts of Oslo, and with our hometown already so close we were making good progress.

As I walked down the sidewalk and into the unfamiliar town warily, with Emil snoring contently as he slept, I noticed quite a few of those people giving me odd looks and even what looked like glares. Quiet whispers suddenly become audible, and I figured it must have been quite rare for a newcomer like me to ever pass through.

_I wonder if they're staring because they think I'm a runaway… _I thought, quickly shifting my eyes away from all of the awkward stares. _Well, technically I am, but I don't have anywhere else to go…_

I learned to ignore the strange looks as time passed, and I realized that this town was set up a little similar to our old one. Taking our surroundings in, I noticed I recognized it a little bit, as I had we had passed it on our way up north for vacation before Emil was born. I set out a sigh of relief at that, knowing that not all of it would be completely foreign to me. Yet all I knew now was that both of us desperate needed some kind of nourishment in our tired bodies.

My little brother was still fast asleep in my arms as I entered the market around the corner, which to my surprise was open at such an early hour in the morning. He let out occasional quiet coughs as he snuggled closer to me, and I wrapped the blanket we'd had around him tighter to keep him warm. The temperature was dropping fast, and the last thing I wanted was either of us getting sick.

The soft pitter-patter of feet made its way into the area, as the setting was peaceful and quiet despite the awkward tension of people. It was good we were getting here so early, avoiding the hustle and bustle of afternoon shoppers that would make the place so crowded. I was painfully shy around people I didn't know well, so it wouldn't help being around so many strange people and unfamiliar people. The only time I would actually speak to somebody I never knew would be in a situation of danger; when I was angry at them. Besides, Emil was the same way, and I don't think he's like being so uncomfortable.

As I made my way over to the box holding a bushel of fresh apples, and grabbing a bag holding a dozen, my eyes fell on Emil's bright purple orbs that glistened in the sunlight as he just began waking up.

He rubbed his sleepy eyes, smiling at me and hugging me close. "I'm hungry, brother."

"I know; I'm going to buy us some breakfast right now. It won't be much, but it should last us the week." I said, picking up a small loaf of bread as he jumped down from my grip. Emil was pretty mellow, and I liked that he took after me with that. It made things so much easier for me, especially with him being surprisingly mature for a four-year-old.

The boy explored the ground, giggling as he circled around my feet and chased a lone pigeon, and I smiled. Emil sure was making the best out of this, and it made me happy to see that he was capable of lightening up my depressed mood. I really did need him that much after all, didn't I?

From what I'd counted, the total amount of money I'd need to pay for our food was about ten dollars, made up of a dozen apples, a loaf of bread, and two bottles of water for us. That meant I only had about twenty dollars left, so we had to spare the food we had and only eat it when we really needed it. I would have bought a pan to cook with, but the cheapest one I could find was around forty dollars, and I didn't even have enough money for that. Getting a job was out of the question as well, as all of our records had been burned in the fire, and I couldn't leave Emil off by himself. It didn't work that way for us as brothers.

As I walked up to the register to pay, I couldn't help but get that strange feeling that somebody was…watching us. I immediately shook the thought away, knowing it would only put me worse off, but every time I did so…it still came back to haunt over me. And I just didn't know why…

The women working at the register looked fairly young, her slim body still fresh with age and her bright green eyes sparkling with curiosity. Wavy brown hair lay tossed over her shoulder, and as she grabbed the bread, and her nametag pinned to her uniform read "Elizabeta". She raised a suspicious eyebrow up at me.

"I haven't seen you boys around here; we don't get visitors very often." She said, shooting a glace up at me as she continued to check out our food.

I stayed frozen; like a deer in headlights it seemed, as my mouth clammed shut and small puffs of air came out through my nostrils. Being as shy as I was led to by a disadvantage for us two; as I could barely speak around strangers, and Emil was taught never to do so.

Elizabeta looked at me funny, tipping her head to the side slightly in bewilderment, and slowly began waving her hand in front of my face. A shameful move for me, at that, as it seemed like she thought I was slow or something. "He ok?"

As I continued to stay silent, it was Emil who spoke up for me. "He's shy." He told her, walking in front of me as he raised his head up high with everything towering over the small child.

She chuckled a little, a small smile making way onto her face as she gazed down at Emil and stored our two bottles of water in the bag. "Is that so, huh? I'm Elizabeta; you two have names, I'm guessing?"

"I'm Emil, and this is my older brother, Lukas!" Emil chirped happily, and I let out a muffled "hi" and waved uneasily.

The girl continued to smile. "Those are both wonderful names; I can tell by them you're both from around here. I'm actually from Hungary; just moved here three years ago. It's nice that we've finally got some new visitors in this town, even though I can tell you two are only temporary! Runaways, right?"

The pale color in my face grew even paler as is drained out at her words, and snapping back into my senses I began to shake my head violently. "No, we're not runaways; just passer-byers." I managed to mumble out, averting my eyes to the floor as strands of blonde hair fell over my eyes.

Her smirk only grew wider, as if she could see right through us. "I know a runaway when I see one, Lukas. We actually have one running around here, too; he's actually a pretty cool guy; looks about your age. That'll be ten dollars for the food, by the way."

My eyes continued to keep their focus on the ground as I rummaged through my pockets for the meager amount of money I had with me, handing it to her quickly as I snatched the bag into my hand. I quietly thanked Elizabeta, shuffling away as I grabbed Emil's hand, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible to erase the awkwardness.

"It was nice meeting you boys; come back soon! Runaways _always _come back, you know." Elizabeta waved goodbye, smirking at her last sentence.

I turned back to her and glared, hoping to get the message across her head that we were _not_, under _any circumstances_, runaways.

…Yet how could she have seen right through us that easily?

Emil, his stomach gnawing with hunger, immediately dove for the bag as he gripped onto it and pulled out the loaf of bread, attempting to stuff it into his mouth before I stopped him.

"Not yet, Emil; not until we've found somewhere to eat it, ok?" I told him, replacing the loaf in his hands with a bottle of water.

He pouted slightly, gulping down the water with ease and panting as he told in a breath, then continued sipping down the liquid. I was easily as thirsty as he was as well, but we couldn't afford to take a break at times like these. The temperature was dropping rapidly with dawn's arrival, and we needed to find shelter fast before either of us were to get sick or frostbite.

Then, that ominous and uneasy feeling that I was being watched rose again in me. It felt as if someone was stalking us; following our every move, and I couldn't help but become very nervous about the whole situation, especially with Emil.

I held onto my little brother's hand tighter, making sure he would let go, and keeping him close. "Stay close to me, Emil." I said in nearly a mere whisper, trying not to frighten him with the unfamiliar setting we were in. I couldn't carry or pick him up with my hands full, so the only thing left that I could do to protect him was keep my eyes on the boy like a hawk.

He nodded, nestling next to my side, yet as I let my senses and ears take over, I realized the uneven pitter-patter of footsteps trailing behind us. At that, my breathing grew short, and I immediately stopped and put Emil in front of me as I guarded him. "Don't move, brother, just stay in front of me and don't make a sound. There's somebody following us…"

Emil made a noise, his eyes growing wide with fear as he clutched onto my leg.

_…Maybe that wasn't the best way to word that…_

Standing completely still, with the sound of footsteps suddenly disappearing and a thick silence hanging in the air, I spun around, only to find nothing standing there in return. Confused, I raised an eyebrow, my brother still clinging onto me, yet also seeming bewildered as I wasn't going after anything.

I shrugged, turning back around, yet as a flash of wild blonde hair hit the corner of my eye, I found myself stumbling to the ground with the bag of found I had just bought falling out of my hand and taken away. My first instinct, though, was to guard Emil, protecting him and tossing him behind me so the mugger wasn't able to take him as well.

Cursing under my breath, I raised my head with my teeth bared and a dark scowl plastered onto my face, watching as this robber, a young man at that, sprinted away with our bag of food in his hands.

"Hey; get back here you thief!" I cried out, picking up Emil as I began to chase after him. "Come on, Emil, we're getting our food back."

Yet as I chased this unknown man, leading me through the streets of the small town and to the outskirts of a snowy forest, the thought crept into the back of my mind that I actually knew him. Maybe not talked to personally, but just…had seen before. His wild hair seemed familiar, and especially that black trench coat that trailed behind him. Could this have been the man that I had been snooping around in mine and my brother's yard yesterday?

No, it couldn't have been; the chances were all too low! Yet why did it seem like I had seen him before…?

As the mugger led us out of the town, I found myself trudging through the forest, whacking down every branch that got caught in my way and barreling over the fallen logs that had been covered in icy snow. Emil gripped onto my, hiding his face in my chest as he let out soft whimpers, and I shushed him. I had to admit, this wasn't exactly comfortable for me either, yet my determination had slowly taken over and now all I was focused on was getting our food back. It was an essential item for our well-being, and if we didn't want to die young, I'd be one of those small items that could bring a lot.

After several more minutes of racing through the forest, I stopped, letting Emil jumping out of my hands as I rested my hands on my knees, panting heavily. The faint scent of smoke lay in the air, and as I took in our surrounding, we were directly in the middle of nowhere; the heart of the forest.

A ring of untouched snow surrounded us, with the trees making a perfect circle. Like an abandoned settlement, you could say. I'd seem to have lost the mugger we were chasing after, yet from where we were, it looked like he had known we were following him, and actually _meant _to lead us here. After all, why would somebody like him just have stumbled upon this little campsite in the middle of a forest without knowing about it?

That left a wave of uneasiness running through my body, and Emil grabbed onto my hand as we quietly followed the footsteps the led us deeper into the forest. The scent was getting stronger now, with a frozen stream running through our trail, and a brocade of boulders lying on the edge, almost as if it were one big circle.

That's when my brother and I found our eyes resting on another small campsite-like ring of trees, a small cave lying in the corner, untouched as that smell of smoke made its way out from it. Somebody…somebody was _living _here…

"Brother…" Emil squeaked, hugging my leg as I held Mr. Puffin tightly in his hands.

I pat him on the head, reassuring him despite my caution. "It's ok, Emil, just stay extremely quiet until I find this guy, ok?"

He nodded, following me as I walked cautiously into the campsite, looking in every direction for this familiar mugger. The silent tension lay creepy in the air, and at every sound that was made I immediately spun around in preparation to attack. Some of which were actually mine and Emil's footsteps…

Just then, as I began to think this man was gone, and nobody and nothing was there, as I began to turn around to walk back, I found myself meeting a large axe merely inches from my neck, and a pair of devious blue eyes fallen on mine.

It was that teen; the one I had seen the day before, and not only that but our mugger as well. A smirk lay on his face, and as my breathing slowed down at this sudden shock, he spoke up.

"It wouldn't move if I were you." The teen said playfully, watching as I stayed composed and calm in my place. I had to be that way to assure the boy clutching onto my leg that everything was ok, despite my inner-self nearly crumbling from the scare.

I crossed my arms. "Who said I was going to move?"

"Well, from the looks of it, it looked like you were heading back to that town. Playing hard-to-get, are we?"

My cheeks went warm at his words as he beamed, and angry now, I pushed him away, along with his axe. "Just give us back our food."

He shook his head, waving the bag of food back in forth in front of his face. "Um~…yeah, I don't think so. It's _my _food now." He snickered, twirling his axe around with ease at my dismay.

I clenched my fists, my brow furrowed as dark blue eyes grew toxic. I took a step towards him, attempting to look superior as he was a good half-head taller than me.

"Listen, it's either give us back our food or-"

"We just want something to eat!" Emil wailed, cutting me off before I could finish threating our mugger. I turned to him, watching as he released his grip on my pants with tears cascading down his face, and soft sobs escaping from his mouth. "We have no place to live! All we want is some food so we won't be hungry! Please don't kill Lukey, mister!"

This teen, this _runaway_, suddenly grew soft, his eyes growing wide as he dropped his axe and threw his hands up as if he were completely innocent. I glared at him, kneeling down to tend to my crying brother, pulling him into a light hug as he sobbed into my shoulder.

"Shush~, Emil, it's ok; he's not going to hurt me. We're going to get some food and shelter, alright?" I whispered to him, feeling the warmth of his tears soak my jacket as I picked up the blanket he had dropped into the snow.

The child rubbed his eyes, holding Mr. Puffin close to his chest as he nodded, violet eyes sparkling with tears, and I smiled as I brushed the falling tears away and tousled his silver hair.

I turned back to the runaway, scowling at him as he gave me a confused look; a façade over his actual sympathy and pity for the boy. "Way to go, idiot, you made my little brother cry. Now give us back our food before he starts crying again."

"Whoa, it's not _my _fault I made him cry, that was _Mathias Jr.'s _fault! I can't stand seeing little kids cry…Besides, I don't give things out for free."

" It _is _your fault, and it's _our _food, not yours; so you're not "giving it out for free". I hissed, demanding for him to hand the bag back over to us.

"What's in it for me?"

That was the last straw. Furious now, I kicked him to the ground, pinning him down with my foot as rage began spurting out from me. I was normally fairly calm, yet I still had a patience level, and a small one at that.

"Listen; we have _nowhere _left to go. Our house is burned down, our parents are dead, and now we have to live out on the streets! If you're just a runaway looking for food, then just get some yourself!"

Caught off guard by my sudden actions, his eyes grew wide and his mouth lay agape. Yet seeing this monster and rage that was slowly taking over my body, he smirked. The teen took a long look at me, squinting his eyes at me as I glared, observing me up and down and then doing the same to Emil.

"You know, I like you. You're the _feisty _kind, I can tell. Now, I'm going to make a deal with you; you work for me, and I'll give you food and let you stay at my place. What do you say?" He said, struggling to get out from the grip on had on his stomach.

Scarlet tinged my cheeks at his words, and as my anger settled down, I released him. I was an easy blusher, and I could tell he knew this by the satisfaction smeared onto his face.

"First of all, I'm _not _the "feisty kind", and I'm not exactly a fan of yours. And what exactly _is _this place of yours; you're a runaway, you don't _have _a place?" I snarled, letting him get to his feet and brush of the snow on his jacket.

"Oh, but you _are_. I know you're type when I see it. And besides, who says you can't have a home when you're a runaway? It's my runaway home, and it's pretty nice if you ask me! Now what do you say, either help me and get your food back, or don't and leave this place. Your choice."

I thought for a moment, crossing my arms as I glared at him steadily. I wanted to get that food back; more than anything right now, but having to spend the day with _that _guy made it all the less tempting. Yet right now, it wasn't me I was worried about, it was Emil.

"…Alright fine, I'll work for you. But what about my little brother; he's only four, he can't work in these weather conditions!" I told him.

"I never said _he _had to work for me, I only said _you _had to, _Lukey~._" He sang, snickering at this awful nickname as he trotted away, and I continued to glared at the teen.

"What's your name, anyway?"

As he turned back around, the runaway smiled at me, twisting his axe around contenting. "The name's Mathias; seventeen years old. Welcome to the runaway society."

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><p>Oh ho ho, Denmark is finally introduced into the story officially~! :D I'm sorry that updating as been slow, but I've really been trying to focus on schoolwork better this year and my other stories. NEVER, put four chapter stories out at the same time…JUST DON'T DO IT! D: The next chapters are going to be much more sweet and funny than angsty, so I'm glad because as much as I love writing angst, sweet romantic humor is in my favor! Now, you know what to do~, review~! :D (Hey, that rhymed! *shot*)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: His Home and Needs

Wow, I'm REALLY late getting this chapter out…I'm SO sorry it's been a while; my laptop crashed and was getting fixed for two weeks, and I just got it back a couple weeks ago so I haven't been able to type anything barely. Plus my summary was also on here…But, my files are recovered, and now I can finally continue this! :D I was also on writer's block for quite a while, so I didn't really know what to do with it. And I've been really busy with school lately, which is why updates have been slow on…everything, but I'll try to do my best with updating! Enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p>By the time fresh flakes of snow had fallen from the lightened sky, my back had been aching with agony and pain, and my cheeks and nose were a glowing red with my hands raw and nearly frostbitten. I couldn't tell how long I'd been working, but all I knew was that Mathias had a <em>lot <em>of dirty work to be done for a runaway. And apparently I was the one who had to do it all for him…

Emil had been resting in the cave for the time being with the teen while I stayed outside and finished the chores he had given me to do for the day. Not even a full ten minutes after we had met, Mathias ran back into this home of his, tossing me a metal bucket and a pile of clothes to clean and dry. Yet that wasn't all, as apparently the outside of the cave needed cleaning as well, and new rocks were needed to hold up the crumbling walls that blocked the entrance. Personally, working like this in sub-zero temperatures defiantly wasn't in my favor, but if it meant keeping my little brother and me alive, I'd do anything. Yet I couldn't help but worry about him while such a stranger babysat him.

My hair was drenched in frozen sweat, and my clothes were already wet enough with melted snow and water. I dipped the last remaining shirt of his into the small hole I'd made in the frozen stream, washing it thoroughly with the bar of soup he'd given me, and the frigid liquid nipping at my bare hands. It shocked me how he was actually capable of _getting _all this stuff…

"Damn runaway…why did _I_ have to get stuck doing all his work for him. Emil is probably terrified having to spend his day with such a stranger…" I mumbled bitterly under my breath, yanking his shirt out of the water and squeezing all of the water out. Frigid liquid slipped across my wrists, and I winced at the sharp and cold touch it sent running through my body. And with the light gusts of wind brushing against my body, it added even more to the stinging rush.

Folding the last shirt neatly onto of the rest of the pile, I finally let out a long sigh, wiping my forehead with satisfaction as my task had finally been completed. I emptied out the remaining water that was left in the pail, tossing back into the open hole I'd made of the stream. This _had _to have been the last chore he wanted me to do for the day. Otherwise I'd probably kill him…

I made my way steadily back to the cave, walking through the crisp wonderland of fresh snow and ice and light puff of air became visible from the small breaths I had taken in. The air lay silent, and a white-out lay blanketed across the land with a layer of ice coating the branches and pine needles with their beauty.

Yet upon all of this as I made my way through the forest, I returned back only to find the silhouette of Mathias leaning casually against the side of the cave. One foot was kicked back against it, with his arms crossed and eyes closed contently as if he were dreaming.

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing exactly what the runaway was trying to do as he opened his eyes and shot a smirk at me the second he saw me walking towards him. And frankly, it wasn't working too well.

"Well, you got that done pretty fast, now didn't ya, Norge?" He said, getting up from where he was resting to walk towards me, that irritating smirk never leaving his face.

I only glared harder, shoving pile of damp clothes at him and tossing the bucket pail over to the side, crossing my arm with a dark scowl on my face. "Norge? What the hell kind of nickname is that?"

"It's _your _nickname! Unlike me, you're actually from here. So, I've decided to call you Norge from now on! Besides, it's _much _better than your other one."

"But that's a _girls' _name; and I'm not too fond of you actually referring to me as my own country!" I spat, wincing once more at the dreaded nickname as anger bubbled out from under my chilled skin.

Mathias only chuckled, apparently enjoying my dismay as he playfully tousled my hair. I smacked his hand away, a warm shade of pink dusting across my cheeks.

"But you _are _a girl, Norge! You're hair goes down to your shoulders, you've got a little clip in your hair, and according to your little brother, I see you've got a pretty good voice. I'd love to hear it sometime~." He sang, caressing and running his fingers through strand of my hair, moving in closer to me until our noses were nearly touching.

The blush on my face only grew stronger, and I averted my eyes angrily as I shoved him away.

_Who does this guy think he is, anyway?_

"Just show me this..."home" of yours; I'm freezing out here…" I mumbled, walking towards in the cave in the other direction, while he sped up next to me and place an arm casually around my shoulder.

"You're going to love it here; I can promise you that! It may be just a little cave, but I've totally transformed it since I've been out here!" Mathias beamed, walking me towards it. Yet I only glared and yanked his arm away.

"Don't place your arm around me; I already don't like you enough. Just show me around and we'll see if we want to stay." I spat, and he turned to me with a hint of disbelief in those blue eyes, but nonetheless smiled. Only about half of that statement was true, though; as much as I didn't like this runaway, there wasn't much of an option; Emil and I had to stay. Right now, for our own sake and protection, staying with Mathias was our only option.

Still walking side-by-side with the beaming teen, I walked into his cave cautiously, immediately taking in the small setting, yet with multiple objects scattered inside its surrounding. It looked about the size of an average bedroom, and I'd never admit it to his face, but I was fairly impressed with such a setup for however long he'd been out there.

A fire pit sat untouched in the center, dying smoke and embers rising and surrounding the charred wood, with several blankets folded next to it. A small bow was settled next to a few scattered arrows, gingerly hanging loosely on a hook he'd apparently hung up. Bags food and items rested in the corner by the entrance, along with a stack of fishing supplies and a small medical kit. Although impressed by everything, I had to wonder exactly how did he _get _all of this stuff?

"Wow…you've actually been able to manage this? I asked him, taking another step inside and looking around.

Mathias nodded proudly, satisfied with his work. "Yep; been out here for two years and have never had a problem! It's my runaway home; I've got to make some use to it to my liking. It's actually pretty nice once you get used to it.

"Two years, huh…" As I walked around more, I felt a sudden grip on my leg that could be none other than Emil running up to hug me. "Brother, it's warm again! And now I'm not hungry anymore!" He said, waving his hands excitedly as he chomped into the slice of bread he was eating.

I smiled, picking him up and ruffling his hair gently as he gave me a soft peck on the cheek. "I'm glad you're feeling better. You'll need to be healthy especially out here so that you won't get sick or hurt, alright?"

Emil nodded, giggling as I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and set him down, and then scampering off back to his puffin again. Still smiling at him, that all quickly faded when I felt the chilling touch of Mathias's hand resting on my shoulder as he stood over me.

"Cute kid." He said, watching the child as played and laughed.

I pushed him away once more. "You didn't do anything to him, did you? I don't want you traumatizing my four-year-old brother out here, got it?"

He raised his hands half-way in the air, just as he did before, as if to say he was completely innocent. "I didn't do anything to him, Norge! He's just a kid; we were just messing around and playing in here the entire time you were working! Isn't that right, Emil?"

Emil turned to him, smiling and nodding. "We talked about you a lot, Lukey! I told him all about you!" He chirped, getting Mr. Puffin to "nod" as well.

My face flushed scarlet at his words, fearing just about _how much _the boy could have told the runaway with his naïve nature completely oblivious to him. I had just met the teen only a few hours before, and by now he had probably memorized my entire life story!

"What…What kind of things did you tell him, Emil?" I murmured, blonde bangs hiding my averted eyes and a majority of my flushed face.

My brother thought for a moment, tipping his head to the side to remember everything he had told Mathias, and eventually smiled at me when he found it. "I told him all about Mommy and Daddy and our house. Oh, and that you like to sing and how good you are at it!"

Scarlet when crimson at the mention of that secret liking of mine, and I hid my face even more as I turned from him.

_Damn…I thought he wouldn't bring that up again…_

"Oh…Well just keep these things to yourself, brother. We don't know how much he could use this against us…" I mumbled nearly inaudibly, irritated now, and Mathias followed not long after that to defend himself.

"Norge, you're with _me_ now! It's like I'm going to blackmail you are anything! If you piss me off…well, that's a maybe, but still! Besides, like I said, I'd love~ to hear to you sing sometime."

I gave him a hard hit in the stomach with my elbow, grunting in irritation as the stubborn blush stained on my face refused to leave. "Who said anything about being _with _you, Mathias? We're just staying here until winter passes, and then moving on again to find a different place to stay." I said in between my teeth, not even bothering to bring up the second half of that as I knew he'd do it sometime or another again.

He only groaned, rubbing his stomach in pain as he let out a small cough, yet continued to have that dozy smile on his face. It…irked me…

"Alright…I won't say anymore…but stop _hitting me_, will ya? If you're gonna spend the rest of the winter out here, I suggest you get on my good side!" The teen said, almost playfully it seemed with that smile, but with a hidden irritation in his voice that showed just how much he disliked the constant pain I was giving him.

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow, but at his words I immediately recognized that accent from anywhere. "You're from Denmark; I can tell by your accent when you speak."

Mathias looked at me once more; that smile never leaving his face, and nodded. How was it even _possible _for a runaway like him to be so…cheerful? "Yeah; I used to live in Copenhagen. I originally ran away so I could try to find my way back, but that didn't work out too well, so I just stayed here!" He beamed leaning down to start a fire for us, tossing me an apple in the process.

With near-frostbitten hands I could only catch it with my elbows, but nonetheless I nodded apathetically and began munching down on it. It seemed so long since I had had something full up my gnawing stomach, as neither nor myself had eaten all morning until now. It felt sweet and tart as it slid down my throat, and I licked my lips as I bit into the savory taste once more. Although Emil and I had been living off of little for a while now, I'd never thought we'd actually be this desperate for food at one point.

As the fire started blazing, and smoke and vivid warm colors twirled around us, I picked a spot surrounding the pit and sat down, chowing on the fruit and gulping down half a bottle of water we'd bought from the market. Never had I been so thirsty in my life…

Emil scooted over towards me, resting his head on my leg and curling up next to me for warmth. I smiled, stroking his hair as he shivered slightly, but nonetheless that same content smile made its way back onto his face, and he drifted off to sleep.

But, with peace finally setting in, I realized my little brother wasn't the only one sitting next to my side. That rowdy Dane had also made his way towards me, getting a little too close to comfort, and I pushed him away.

"I'd highly appreciate it if you wouldn't get so close to me." I told him, tone apathetic, with irritation slowly beginning to rise in my body once more.

Apparently Mathias didn't even take the warning I had given him, and only moved closer. Trying to ignore him, I only focused on eating and staring into the fire, yet all that concentration was soon broken the minute he began running his fingers through my hair.

He played with it; twirling it around his fingers as strands ran through it, and as he began to pull and sniff that's when I immediately slapped his hand away. "Just what do you think you're doing?" I snapped, glaring at him viciously as a fair amount of pink dusted across the tips of my ears and nose at his touch.

He smirked; giving me that same, childish, playful look he had expressed the second we had met. "What does it look like I'm doing; I'm playing with your hair! It's so…_soft_…" He chirped, stroking it again until I smacked his hand away and glared.

The Dane took a good hard look at me after that, squinting his eyes in deep thought, and I could only what such a…happy…young teen like himself could be think. I raised an eyebrow at him, crossing my arms and staring back in confusion, before his eyes finally grew wide and that same obnoxious grin crept back onto his face. "Norge, you need a haircut!" Mathias exclaimed, snapping loudly after he announced his idea, and beamed proudly.

I only stared at him in bewilderment, dull blue eyes suddenly beginning to shift into dismay. "_What_?"

"C'mon, I wanna cut your hair; it's so long and flowy and stuff! It's just going to get out of hand; I'm doing you a favor, ya know." I only continued to stare at him at the utter randomness in that comment, before his next words finally snapped me back into reality. "Stay there, I'm going to go get my scissors!"

Realizing that he wasn't kidding, for some reason my face began to grow hot, and I threw my hands on top of my head. "You're cutting my _hair_?" I cried, protecting the locks of blonde from the Dane's touch. It hadn't even been half a day since I knew him, and I couldn't tell if I could trust the runaway quite yet. Judging from the way he'd been acting towards me, though, I figured I'd better stay pretty cautious of him.

"Didn't I just say that, Norge? You need a haircut! I'm not one to judge, but I've wanted to cut somebody's hair for a long time now. I used to watch my mom do it all the time when I was little when she would cut mine!"

"Oh no, you are _not_ touching my hair! I'm perfectly fine with it being this long; it doesn't bother me at all!" The closer he got to me, though, the more nervous I began to grow. It wasn't the fact about my hair being gone, but more of me losing my trust for the teen.

He crouched down to my level once more as I scooted away from time, giving me a sincere, wanting smile as he wanted to try so badly. "Come on, Norge, please? I promise I won't do anything weird with it. You can trust me."

"Oh really?" I spat, moving farther away from him as he inch closer, until the point where he actually placed a hand on my leg to stop me. The Dane's cold touch sent chills running down my spine, and I looked back up at him only to find that wanting smile plastered to his face.

"Norge…just trust me…It's the first step for us getting to know each other. Besides, who says I can't _make _you?"

I shifted my eyes to my brother, who was carelessly watching us as he gazed around the room after waking up. He met my eyes, the violet in them bright and cheerful, and he gave me a reassuring nod as if to tell me it was alright. It was strange; sometimes even the four-year-old was capable of making better decisions then I could myself…

"Alright fine…I'll do it…but if you do _anything _weird to it, I'll personally stab you with that axe." I mumbled, getting to my fee t hesitantly. A gust of wind brushed against my face, and I almost regretted agreeing to cut off the shield that covered my ears. Yet then again, "almost" was an understatement.

That same goofy, obnoxious grin grew on his face, and he jumped up like an excited child would after receiving a gift. "Thanks Norge; I totally owe you one!" He chirped.

I rolled my eyes, slowly regretting giving in to his request, and not a second later did he immediately yank me to my feet and drag me to a rock to sit on. I stumbled; fumbling as I found myself sitting on the cold rock as he brushed away the fresh snow resting on it, and hopped happily to his bag to grab a pair of scissors.

I grabbed a strand of my hair nervously, rubbing it thoroughly and anxiously as I averted my eyes to the ground. "Mathias…I don't think this is a very good idea…"

"Sure it's a good idea; I'm doing you a favor, remember?" He beamed, crouching down on his knees to meet my level, and took out the Nordic cross pin that kept the bangs out of my face. "It's ok, I promise I'll give it back." With that, he grabbed hold of a strand of my hair gently.

With the soft sound of that single snip ringing through my ears, I winced as a blonde tuft fell to the ground and there was no going back.

_What have I gotten myself into…?_

"Mathias…" I mumbled, fidgeting a little bit as I tried to move into a more comfortable spot, only to hear that same awful snipping noise fill my ears as another tuft fell to the ground. I hadn't gotten a haircut since our parents died, so I wasn't used to the feeling of people touching it and cutting it off. Especially somebody I wasn't familiar with like Mathias…

"Hold still, Norge, if you keep moving I'll mess up." The Dane said, and I could tell that the pride in his voice was only a mere façade, as he seemed to be just as nervous as I was. Yet another feeling and fact that made me even more uncomfortable and wary.

I sat there, uneasy, wincing slightly every time I watched even more strands of blonde fall onto the ground and brush away into the snow. How much was he cutting _off_?

"Don't…cut off so much, Mathias." I told him, gripping onto the rock. I didn't know why I was so uneasy about a simple haircut; it didn't make sense to me. Honestly, after two years of growing it out, I could've cared less about how long it had gotten. But now…there was a feeling of reluctance in throwing away my old locks…

"It's ok, Norge, I told I wasn't going to go all crazy with it. I'm almost done, so you'll get to see it soon."

Mathias pulled on a few more pieces, straightening them out to the same length and cutting them off, doing the same to three more on the right side of my head. The closer he got to being finished, the more nervous I became…

A few more minutes passed by, and I continued to sit restlessly and anxious. Why did I have to be so nervous; what was going on? If I was so worried with realizing an entire new life was ahead of me as that last strand fell to the ground…why did I even agree?

"Mathias, wait-!"

"All done, Norge. Here, take a look!" He hopped up from where he was standing, running out into the cold only to return with a large shard of ice not a second later. I closed my eyes, taking in a long, deep gulp of air and swallowing hard.

Mustering up enough courage to open my eyes, I did, only to find my eyes resting on that smiling idiot and his apparent new…"creation" that was my hair. "Well, what do you think; did I do a good job? He asked, grinning ear to ear, proud of his work as he gave my pin back to me.

I could only stare at my reflection in awe, being so used to long hair that I hardly even recognized the person on the other side. And frankly, it wasn't even too drastic…

I'd gone from the hair to my shoulders to it merely at my ears, cut almost sloppily and uneven as I tilted my head to the side. My bangs didn't hang over my face anymore, but were tossed over more to the right side of my face, and nearly covered that eye. Seeing this new face, I couldn't help but be…angry…

"Mathias…what did you do to my _hair_?" I spat, getting up and throwing the shard to the ground, watching as it glided across the ground and smashed into small little pieces. "I told you not to go crazy with it!"

"I didn't go crazy, Norge; I only cut off a little bit!" He cried, defending his case as he raised his hands up in the arm just as before. "Besides, I think it looks good on you!"

"Looks good on me my _ass_! I look even _more _like a girl than I did before now; do you honestly think I _want_ to be mistaken for a female?" I grabbed hold of his shirt, yanking him forward and snorting harshly as I glared at him, baring my teeth as he acted as if he did nothing wrong. "You…you…-!"

"Brother…I think your hair looks very good on you."

I heard the voice from behind me, and I couldn't quite identify it with such anger until I spun around only to find a smiling Emil standing there looking up at me. Being as naïve as he was, a child his age would blurt out anything truthful. And judging by his words, he meant it.

I let go of Mathias, anger slowly beginning to fade as I gave my little brother a faint smile and nodded. "Thank you, Emil…"

Pulling myself together, I ran my hand through a tuft of hair, grumbling as I was no longer able to pull it any further than past my ears. I walked over to the pieces of scattered ice melting slowly on the cold ground, using it as a mirror as I looked at myself from different angles, and grumbled even more. "I guess it looks…ok…"

"Great; glad you like it!" Mathias piped in immediately after, still beaming with pride.

"I never said I _liked _it, I just said it's ok…"

"Well, same thing."

With that, he spun to hole of the scissors around his finger, tossing it into the air with it landing into the bag flawlessly, and I raised an eyebrow as he walked back towards me. Just that _smile _irked me… "Well, now that we've got that over with, I've got a new task for ya, Norgie!"

I winced at that nickname once more, the urge of punching him square in the face increasing slowly; yet I controlled myself with Emil around. "Don't call me that…and if I have to do anymore of your dirty work, I'm leaving."

"It's not "_dirty work"_, but more of a life lesson that you'll need to learn how to do when you're a runaway!"

That cheerful grin soon turned daring; spreading across his face darkly as it soon turned devious, and the knot in my stomach returned as I gave him a concerned and cautious look. "Yeah…and what is it…?"

His smile only grew wider. "Stealing."

* * *

><p>Literally, the only thing going through my head when I was writing this was "Oh my GOSH you're such a girl, Lukas!" XD I've actually heard of the name Norge being used as a girls' name before, which is why I included it. I find that kind of ironic considering Norway is a dude…and the fact that everybody I know who sees a picture of him and doesn't know about Hetalia thinks he's a girl…XD I actually drew out his reaction to Mathias cutting his hair, but I haven't put it on deviantART yet.<p>

Anyway, I'm REALLY sorry I didn't get this out sooner. I've been really stressed lately, and I've also been focusing on schoolwork and helping my friends with some of their problems. It didn't really turn out as I intended, but after losing it three times when my laptop crashed and having to re-type it up again each time, I sort of gave up. XD I hope I'll be able to get chapter 6 out soon, but I make no promises. For the time being, reviews ALWAYS make me a happy person! :D


	6. Chapter 6: Snitch

Here is it, chapter 6! I've been on writer's block a lot lately, which is even worse considering I've been really anxious to write lately. I'm sorry for the long wait, but at least I'm making progress since this thing is supposed to be much longer than any of my other fics! Enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

* * *

><p>"You want me to <em>what<em>?" I asked, mouth agape in complete horror as he beamed deviously. I wasn't much to care about crime; I was rather apathetic about the entire situation itself. It was the part about me doing it, and my little brother having to witness the entire thing that threw me off.

"You heard me, Norge; stealing! It's not that bad once you've done it once or twice; it kind of turns into a hobby, you know. I remember-"

I cut him off, yanking that collar of the Dane's shirt to pull him towards me as my voice grew stern and eyes went icy. "You idiot; do you honestly think I'm going to shoplift with Emil around? It'll put a bad influence on him, and that's the last thing I want for a four-year-old!" I hissed, denying every part of this little plan he had to turn me into a thief.

Mathias coughed a little bit, pounding his chest with his fist as he dusted of his coat. "You make it seem so harsh; it's not the ba-"

"It's _crime_, Mathias, and that's the last thing I want to be associated in when I'm raising my little brother."

I saw the shock in his eyes. It was immediate; like a bullet had suddenly struck him in the chest. How was he so hurt by this; I figured the runaway didn't want to be associated with me either! I felt no pity on him, but for some strange, unknown reason, those blue eyes made me go soft, yet I still wouldn't give in for the sake of my brother. "Look, Mathias; you're practically forcing me to stay here. And while I'm here, I refuse to do anything crime-related under your orders. Emil's still a child; he picks up everything I do and does it himself! Do you want a like boy him to be running the streets shooting at everybody while we're the guilty ones here?" I told him a little bit softer, yet still held the sternness in my voice.

"Norge, you're making it a bigger deal than it is. Why are you so concerned about your brother anyway, when you should be worrying about yourself?"

That comment had sent me over the edge. Just as I was cooling down, rage bubbled under my skin once more, and my fists clenched into tight balls before I charged right back over to the Dane. "You've obviously never had siblings, have you? Emil is all I've got left, and if I don't love him unconditionally, then nobody else will!" I said, my voice raising as I pushed him back a little bit, stomping away towards the entrance of the cave."

Mathias seemed a little bit thrown off as he stumbled back, and his cheerful smile had soon disappeared into a shameful, pitied frown.

"Actually, I-"

"Forget it; you'll never understand just how much my little brother means to me, because you're just another one of those cunning scam-artists that just wants to mug me out of my money."

He stayed quiet for a moment, and I did as well, before the Dane was the first one to break the silence. "Yeah, well what if I were to fall in love with somebody; isn't that considered unconditional love? And what about you; you seem like the type to have a girlfriend."

My cheeks tinged pink, and I averted my eyes to the floor. "No, it's not. And I refuse to ever fall in love with anybody, because I know it won't happen now, and it won't happen ever." I walked over to resting Emil, nudging him slightly to wake him up out of his light sleep. The child seemed to be very tired these days… "Come on, Emil; we're leaving now."

Emil couldn't quite catch my words, but he nonetheless rubbed his eyes, yawned, and motioned me to pick him up. I did as I was told, and held onto him walking out of the cave and into the icy winter air.

Yet the more that I thought about it, the more I thought about how much of a lie that sentence was…

* * *

><p>I almost regretted leaving Mathias at the point where Emil and I had finally made our way out of the woods, and back into the small town by the time it was near sub-zero temperatures. The child rested contently in my arms, shivering slightly as I rocked him to sleep and he nuzzled against my chest.<p>

The air was surprisingly cool today, and occasional harsh winds only blew at certain intervals as we walked. Nonetheless though, it was still cold, and not even a jacket and a long-sleeved shirt and jeans could do me any good. Emil seemed rather nice, though, adjusting much more quickly as I thought he would. He seemed to enjoy sleeping a lot, and I couldn't blame him with the frigid weather affecting me as well. He was only a young boy in need of sleep/

But in between the thoughts of my brother and the weather, in the back of my mind was still Mathias, and I couldn't help but feel the slightest bit guilty for leaving him on his own again.

_Ah, why should I care about the damn Dane anyway; we should deserve better than having to spend the entire winter with him in that cave of his! He…did seemed a little hurt though when I stormed out… _I said to myself, shaking that last thought away. _But why should I care what he thinks, anyway? If he's actually going to bribe me to stay, then I won't take it!_

With all these thoughts spinning in my head, just as we had entered the market, I had completely forgotten that being all caught up in my anger, I didn't grab my bag of food and money.

"Damn it; now how I supposed to buy anymore food; I doubt he'll let us go back now!" I cursed under my breath.

"Brother…what's wrong…?" Emil asked, looking up at me as he rubbed his eyes.

I shushed him softly. "It's alright, Emil. Just go back to sleep, ok?" He did as he was told, and nuzzled back against my chest. I could feel the rising and falling of his chest as he slept, and the steady beat of his heart as the child hung onto me and let out a soft murmur. I smiled, stroking a strand of silvery hair, and let him go to sleep.

Walking around the market, I realized that the place was still almost half-dead. Little people could be seen walking around, as there were more on the streets, and it seemed that Elizabeta was still in the same spot she was before working the register.

My stomach growled harshly with hunger, and I'd been so caught up with everything that I'd barely had any time to eat anything. I tried shaking it away, my mind wandering to other matters. But every time that sharp pain returned to my stomach, I knew I had to get at least some kind of food in me. Yet with no money, that wasn't possible.

As I gazed around the place slowly, my senses only grew weaker as my mouth watered with saliva at the mere thought of warm bread sliding down my throat. I licked my lips, trying to forget the thought, but it was all too much for me as I stumbled towards an isle of pastries.

I looked both ways, making sure nobody was around me, then turned to Emil. "Never do this, ok? It's for our own good."

He nodded, not even watching as he lay his head back down onto my chest. He'd been quite aloof lately to everything that had been going on, but it was for good reason since we were both so exhausted. Then again, Emil needed his sleep; otherwise being alert all the time would lead to my embarrassment due to his occasional naïve comments that only a child could say.

Cautiously and carefully, I slipped a blueberry muffin into the inside-pocket of my jacket, taking one after the other as paranoia and shame began to rise within me.

_I shouldn't be doing this…but we need it…_

"Need some help?"

I froze, holding a muffin midway in air as my blood went cold, and the pale color of my skin had completely drained out to a sickly ghost white. I turned around slowly, only to find a smirking Mathias leaning against the wall, one leg crossed over the other just as before.

I let out a sigh of relief, yet still lay angry at his sudden scare. "Damn it, Mathias! Don't do that; you nearly scared me half to death!" I spat, my face growing red with embarrassment as I scolded him.

The Dane only laughed. "Man, you're so easy to scare, Norge!" He cackled, and my face tinged even more scarlet as he howled even harder. "That was great!"

"It wasn't _"great"_, Mathias. And what are you doing here; aren't you supposed to be back at your little cave? We left you, remember?" I spat, growing angry with him at my dismay as his smile suddenly faded.

"Yeah…about that…" He mumbled, his left hand going behind his head and he averted his eyes to the floor and a pink tint began to spread across the bridge of the runaway's nose. "It can get pretty hairy out here. I just wanted to make sure you and Emil weren't in any kind of trouble or anything…he's pretty little…"

As my face finally began to cool down, it immediately flared back up again, turning a light scarlet at his words. Yet my scowl remained, and I turned away from him to hide my flushed face. "Yes, well…we're perfectly fine and capable of being on our own. Just leave now and go back…we're going to find somewhere else to stay…"

The air lay thick and silent, and not a word was said as I carried Emil through the market with guilt running through my veins. I didn't want to steal like that…it made me feel too bad about it later. Then again, both of us were starving, and I could hear the slight murmurs of my brother's hungry stomach against my chest as I carried him.

Just as we were about to exit, Mathias stopped me. "Lukas, wait."

I froze. My senses suddenly stopped, and a wave of saddened heat ran through my body. That was the first time I'd heard him call me by my real name…

I turned back around. "What is it now?"

He stayed quiet, thinking over his words carefully before speaking. "Let…let me take care of this, ok?

"Take care of what?"

"Of this…you know, the _stealing_~" He made sure to whisper the last word, and I rolled my eyes at him as that smirk returned. "So what do you say; I'll distract Elizabeta with Emil, and you go and find us some goods."

I hesitated, thinking over his offer before actually taking it. It seemed pretty good to me…but there was no way I'd _ever _go back to working for the Dane. He was rowdy…obnoxious…there was no way I could possibly deal with that for the rest of winter!

In the end, though, I let out an irritated sigh, crossing my arms as I shifted my eyes to the floor and away from the teen. "Alright fine…I'll do it…But whatever _I_ steal, _I _get to eat first."

With that, as my anger began to grow, the smile on Mathias face only grew wider, and he clapped happily like a young child would. "Thanks so much Norge, I owe you!" He chirped, suddenly taking Emil from my grip, much to his dismay. "I'm going to take little Emil up to the front counter to distract her. Don't worry, she loves kids!"

"I don't exactly _appreciate _you using my little brother as a _decoy_, Mathias," I spat, sighing. "but we do need some food…Just make sure this won't come back to haunt me!"

"Oh, don't worry, Norge, it'll be fine; I do it all the time! Now you go over there and round up some goods; I'll stay over here and distract Elizabeta with Emil. Have fun~." With that, he had already scampered away, taking the child with him as I took a few more muffins, and Emil squirmed with annoyance as the Dane beamed. He never really liked it when anybody but Kya or I held him…

I watched them closely, making sure to stay in close sight and earshot, but far away enough that I'd be able to hide a few bananas in the sides of my pockets.

_I'm not proud of this…But it's for Emil's sake…_ I thought to myself bitterly, grumbling at the thought of actually giving in to Mathias's request. _Damn Dane with that smile…_

"Hey Liz, check out this little guy!" The runaway beamed, setting a confused Emil on the counter as he stared at her, and scooted away shyly back into his hold.

She smiled. "He's adorable, Mathias. But…I think I've seen this kid before. Did you guys come in this morning; I thought I saw him with an older brother or something…" Elizabeta looked around, most likely trying to catch sight of me, but I threw my hood but to hide my face.

"Yep!" Emil squeaked, turning happy once more as he recognized her. "He's over there; say hi Lukey!"

_Crap, Emil! Don't tell her where I am; I'm hiding!_ I thought to myself, physically wincing as my name rang through the air. He obviously didn't know any better, but I had to wonder how such a mature young boy little him could be so naïve…?

Nonetheless, I took off my hood and managed to give her a small wave and smile.

She nodded. "Yeah, I have seen you two before; you're the runaways that I saw this morning! See, I knew you'd come back!"

_That's right…she predicted we'd come back… _I thought, remembering her comment when we first came to the small town, and my face drained pale as I began to walk towards her. I couldn't afford to have anything fall out of my pockets…

Elizabeta could obviously see the worry splattered on my face, and her cheerful smile faded into a concerned stare. Even with that, though, she still continued to make small talk. "So, you're name is Lukas, right? And you said you guys were from here, correct."

"Yeah…that's correct…" I muttered nervously, shyness and worry growing. I'd almost completely forgotten of my fear after being with such a rowdy teenager like Mathias…

The Hungarian took a look at me for a smile, before an expression of memory crossed her face. "Oh yeah, that's right! I forgot how shy you are around people! I'm sorry; you don't have to speak if you don't want to." She turned to Mathias. "So, Mathias, do you know him?

A grin crept onto the Dane's face, and he slung his arm around me. "Yep, we're _best friends_" He beamed, and I pushed him away before he could say anymore.

"How do you know Mathias?"

"Well, he comes here just about every day just to talk and stuff. He's the runaway I was talking to you about before!"

My eyes grew wide, and my jaw immediately fell to the floor in awe. Mathias…that beaming, devious Dane…was the "pretty cool guy" she had mentioned before…? And he stole right from under her nose?

"Wait…_he's _the one you mentioned to me before?" I asked, pointing to him.

She nodded. "Well, he's the only other runaway I know around here, but I personally don't mind. It's nice having company around here while my boyfriend is away in Austria for the month!" Elizabeta laughed, looking us over once more. "I forgot to ask you, Lukas; how did you two end up here in the first place?"

At that, my pale fell to a ghostly white, and I averted my eyes to the floor with what was left of my bangs covering my eyes. Emil, seeing my pain, jumped down from the counter and tugged on my jeans, hugging my leg as he whimpered.

The area fell silent, and awkward tension hanging in the air, before Mathias spoke up for me. "It's…kind of a touchy subject, Liz. I don't think he wants to talk about it…" He told her, sympathy shining in his eyes as his grin faded into a serious frown. I couldn't help but roll me eyes at that…yet also give him the slightest, faint smile. He didn't need to worry about me...

The woman smiled in understanding. "That's alright, I understand." She paused. "I like your haircut by the way, Lukas."

At the sound of my name, I raised my head slightly, and a bashful blush has made its way onto my cheeks.

"Thank you…" I muttered, turning away once more. That when Mathias felt the need to jump in again.

"See, I told you it's not that bad, Norge! I'll have you know, Liz, that his new hair was done specially by me! Isn't it sweet?" He said proudly, pushing me aside as my brother continued to cling onto my leg.

"It really isn't; I think it suits you. You're long hair seemed like it annoyed you quite a bit."

"It…didn't…"

After that last sentence, another silence has set in, and none of us spoke. We only stood there, the howl of the wing blowing from behind us, and the soft sound of clicking shoes hitting the pavement being the only thing I could hear at the moment. Emil, noticing this silence, smiled, and took it as an opportunity to speak up.

"Miss Elizabeta, do you think my brother will fall in love?" He asked her, a wide, clueless grin spread across his face as he held out his hands to be asked to be picked up.

My head shot up, and a vicious amount of heat and scarlet burning across my face. Mathias snickered, noticing the obviousness of it, and I sent an elbow to his stomach once more.

Elizabeta stayed quiet for a moment, before picking him up and setting him on the counter, and she giggled. "Well, I'm sure he will! There are quite a few nice girls around here that he'll probably take a liking to. I'm sure you might too, Emil; Mathias." She said, ruffling his hair playfully.

He stayed quiet, thinking, before the smile immediately returned to his face, and he spoke. "Do you think he'll fall in love with Matie? He could be my new daddy!"

"WE'RE LEAVING!"

With that, I took him from her, not even caring about the stolen food anymore as I stomped away in the opposite direction, my face stained red and eyes flared toxic. Mathias only chuckled, running to catch up with me after saying goodbye to Elizabeta, and slung an arm around my shoulder once more.

"You know you love me, Norge!" He beamed, cackling at my embarrassment as I pushed him away, checking the items hidden under my jacket to see if they were still there. Letting out a sigh of relief, everything was still hidden.

I snorted, holding onto my brother's hand as me trudged through the snow, and averted my eyes away from the obnoxious runaway. "Not even in your wildest dreams…"

* * *

><p>Back at the cave, the sky had now fallen to dusk, and the sun and dipped down into the horizon where only a sliver of gold could be seen over the mountains. The three of us sat near the fire, shivering as we attempted to get warmed up, with the temperatures dropping and the harsh winds beginning to set in again. Mathias has put an old cloth of the entrance to keep any of the frigid air from seeping it, yet we still needed to get the smoke from the fire to stay out. Unfortunately, that meant losing a good amount of body heat.<p>

I sat with Emil in my arms, stroking his hair softly as he slept in my lap, whispering lullaby's into his ear as Mathias hadn't been paying much attention. We had already eaten; a little amount of a meal at that, and he had pretty much settled back to get ready to sleep. I was exhausted as well, yet I still managed to stay up and keep an eye on my little brother. Besides, I didn't know what this guy could be planning…

As a content, soothing silence had finally set in, and the crackling of the fire warmed our chilled bodies, I suddenly heard a hoarse cough come from Emil as he woke up.

I patted his back as he whimpered. "Shhh~, Emil, it's ok…" I soothed, gently rubbing his back as he began to whimper.

"Lukey…" He muttered, letting out another cough because a soft cry had escaped from his mouth.

"I know…It's ok…just go back to sleep." I held him as he rested his head back on my lap, kissing him softly on the top of his head before going back to comforting him.

Mathias gave me a concerned look. "He alright?"

Looking down at the child, I sighed, and shook my head. "During the fire, a lot of smoke had gotten into Emil's room…it practically killed his lungs…I'm not effected nearly as bad because his lungs are just so small and fragile…" I told him in nearly a mere whisper, never taking my ears off of Emil as I continued to stroke his head.

Staying quiet, the Dane moved towards me, only to be pushed away again. "Will you stop getting so close to me? It's starting to irk me."

"I can't help it, Norge, I'm cold. Besides, if Emil's condition really is that bad, maybe we can go and steal him some medicine, you know?"

I huffed, turning away from him as I threw a blanket over myself and settled down. "Medicine can't do anything for him, Mathias. And notice how _steal _is in that sentence; today is the last time I'll ever do that again! Now goodnight." With that, I attempted to sleep, the wind causing me to shiver vigorously as I held onto Emil, him curling up next to me as we kept each other warm.

I almost couldn't stand this cold…It was uncomfortable, strong, and even though I'd been used to it by now, nearly unbearable at this point. My teeth clattered, yet I tried to show no emotion towards Mathias.

Even with that, though, my attempts had failed, and after only a minute of silence, he spoke up. "Norge?" The teen asked him almost regretfully, letting the fire sizzle down as he tossed some snow onto it.

"What is it now?" I grunted, irritated.

He paused. "Maybe we should sleep next to each other, ya know? To keep ourselves warm. We're going to freeze out here if we don't have any body heat going…"

At his comment, my face flared up again, and I shot up and turned to him. "Absolutely not! Emil and I are ok on our own; we'll be able to manage just fine!" I argued, resting my head back onto the pillow, still shivering.

Yet Mathias wasn't giving up yet, as he scooted closer to me. "Norge…you're freezing. I can see you shivering even in the dark! You've gotta stop being so reluctant towards everything; I'm just trying to help you!"

"Well, I don't need help! Good night!"

More silence.

"…Luke…think about your brother…what if he were to get to cold out here, huh? Do you want him to freeze to death?"

I sighed. He did have a good point; I'd do anything at this moment to protect the child from any kind of harm. Even if that meant having to keep him warm with the Dane's help…much to my dismay.

"Alright…fine...Just don't. Touch. Me. I'm only doing this for my brother's good!" I gave in, crossing my arms as I sat upright again, and shifted my eyes to the floor as burning blush took over.

The teen smiled, and I could tell a fair amount of red was spread across his cheeks as well. "I'm glad you've finally come to your senses."

Settling back down, Mathias curled up next to me, tossing and arm over my body as he hugged my waist, and brought me closer than I'd ever wanted to be. I could tell that smile was still glued to his face as he nestled his head near my shoulder, and I could hear the steady beat of his heart and breath pounding against my body.

I had to wonder if he could hear mine; my own heartbeat. Right now, it felt like a vigorous drum pounding against my ears, and with it draining out all other sound it felt as if it were about to fly out of my chest. The blush never faded, yet only grew stronger, and the thought of his warm embrace only caused it to get even worse.

What was this feeling; this feeling of embarrassment as shame? It felt…almost nice, you could say, yet was an irritating pain that shot through my body and caused me to grow nervous. I couldn't quite make it out, but the warmth of Mathias's body next to mine had most certainly warmed me up.

"Good night, Norge~" He sang playfully, and I could only scowl as that was the comment that made my ears burst into flames.

This time, though, I didn't push him away.

* * *

><p>I completely rushed the last part of this, so sorry about that! I typed it at about...12:30 at night last night, so I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing. Hopefully you all still like it, though!<p>

To clear things up: at the end of the the first part, Lukas is actually talking about Kya, not Mathias. We'll get there eventually, though. ;)

Even with the minor faults and stuff, I still hope you all forgive me for the wait! I've had a ton of personal problems and drama to worry about, so I haven't had much time to write. ^^; I thank you all for the support, and do continue to review! Reviews make me very happy~! :D


	7. Chapter 7: The Best Damn Thing Is Us

Here's Chapter 7! I'm sorry I didn't get this out earlier, my family ended up taking a trip to Chicago for Thanksgiving, and I never had any time to work on it. Not much is really happening in this chapter, but I promise we'll get to the good stuff eventually! I put out a poll on deviantART, and my watchers picked that they wanted some of the romance to start in this chapter. Well, you'll just have to see what I've done with it. ;) Enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia, or the characters.**

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><p>That morning, I had been woken up to the scent of sweet apples burning and the sound of something boiling in a pot over the fire. There was no arm slung around me; no Mathias in sight, and I could only make out where he was by the faint whisper of the direction his voice was coming from. Emil was already awake as well, and as I pressed my palm to my cheek it seemed as though the heat of my face and finally flared down.<p>

My eyes fluttered open, and as I looked around groggily I noticed my brother sitting next to the runaway, giggling happily as Mathias playfully poked his belly. I rubbed my eyes, yawning, with a puff of blonde hair falling over my eyes as I managed to get to my feet.

"I swear I'll beat you unconscious if you lay a finger on my brother." I told him, glaring as blue eyes went cold.

Mathias only laughed. "Calm down, Norge, we were just playing a game! Besides, I wouldn't hurt the little guy even if I had to!"

Emil turned to me, his smile returning, and he wobbled his way over to me and hugged my legs. "Good morning, Lukey!" He chirped, and I smiled as I leaned down to hug him back.

"Good morning to you too, Emil. Did you sleep well?" I asked, kissing him on the forehead and ruffling his hair.

He nodded. "Yes I did!" With that, he retreated back over to our host, jumping into a pile of pillows as he giggled madly, and curled up in them with Mr. Puffin right by his side.

I couldn't help but chuckle at that; for a child in such a situation to be so optimistic and innocent. It made me feel…happy…

Yet that happiness had suddenly faded in disgust as I looked into the pot to see was Mathias was boiling. The smell had become horrid, and I cringed my nose as I took a whiff of it. Were those…apples…boiling in _butter_?

"Mathias…what exactly are you making?" I asked him, taking another good look at the odd meal he was cooking.

The Dane turned to me, before smirking and smearing a slab of butter onto a slice of bread. "That? It's a little creation of fried apples and butter…on a sandwich! I call it, the 'Mathias Manwich of Awesome'! Try it, it's really good!"

I gagged as he held it in front of my face, butter overflowing from the sandwich as it dripped to the ground, and I pushed the nasty thing out of my face. "I'd…rather not…" was the most subtle way I could put it, and I turned away as he tried to persuade me.

"Come on Norge, it tastes amazing! It's either that or you go hungry for the rest of the day; cooking something else would mean I'd have to go get some more butter from the market to boil. So what do you say?" He said, wiggling the sandwich in front of me as I pushed it away once more.

As I turned to him to deny his persuasion, I noticed that same goofy, wanting smile plastered to his face, with his blue eyes shining and every feature on his face glowing it seemed. I glared, attempting to get away from his pleads, but as I stared even harder at him, I found myself growing soft and giving in.

"I hate you…" I muttered, snatching the sandwich from him, and took a good hard look at it. It looked repulsing; like he had just thrown it together that morning. This, most likely, was probably the case considering the only other food we had were a couple of bananas and half a muffin from the night before. Swallowing hard, I took a small bite, chewing slowly as it slid down my throat and the thought of poison had suddenly rushed to my mind.

A mixture of creaminess and sweetness had taken over my senses, and just before I could spit the rest out, I swallowed. Surprisingly, though, as weird as the combination was, it actually wasn't _too_ disgusting… "It's…not that bad…" I mumbled, taking another bite to tame my hungry belly.

He beamed with satisfaction and delight at my words. "See, I told it's amazing! Why else would it have 'awesome' in its name? Now, when you're finished, Emil and I decided that we should go down to the creek; just to get out and stuff. The temperature is supposed to be ten degrees Celcius today; that's the warmest it's ever been! Come on, we really need to get out and stuff. It'll be fun." Mathias offered, still smiling as I finished chewing my breakfast.

I shook my head vigorously before speaking. "No, Mathias! Emil could get even more sick than already he is; it's not healthy for him! We should just stay in here where it's warm and do something else…" I crossed my arms and averted my eyes from him, yet the look on Emil's face looked completely heartbroken. It wasn't like I was trying to do it on purpose; I was just doing it for his safety.

The Dane stayed silent, before sighing and speaking up. "Lukas, you've gotta stop being so protective with him. You said it was from the smoke, not the temperature. We'll be fine; I promise. Hell, I've been out here for two years and I've rarely ever gotten sick! If we're cooped up in here I'll day we'll all just stir crazy; it's best we get out. It'll be better for him." He walked closer to me, putting a persuading hand on my shoulder, and his sudden cold touch caused me to want to push him away again.

Yet I didn't; I only stood there in silence as chills ran down my spine, and I didn't even dare to look at him as I knew his features would only tempt me even more. Nonetheless, though, I sighed and gave in.

"Alright…I'll do it…But I don't want to stay out there for too long; not only for Emil's sake my but for my own. Now…let's just go and get this over with."

The Dane smiled. "Man, you're so easy! It's my flawlessly gorgeous eyes, now isn't it? Oh, aren't you a sucker for some good ol' shiny blue ones! You've got a pretty good pair if I say so myself~." He said, his beaming smile placing a façade over his blushing mug.

For what seemed like the more times than it should have been, I elbowed him in the stomach, watching as he fell to the ground and I glared at him. "Will you quit flirting with me, already? It got old eight hours ago!" I yelled, my cheeks stained red as I watched him chuckle and cough at my dismay.

"Who said it's flirting? It's also something called being "nice". You're so cold and hostile towards me; why is that?" He asked, getting to his feet.

I only continued to glare, then averted my eyes to the floor and exited the cave, Emil following right behind me. I pause before answering his question, and at that I heard the faint sigh the escaped from his mouth. "…Because I don't like you. Now let's just get out instead of wasting our time…"

And with that, we were gone.

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><p>As the morning passed, Mathias and I had spent it watching Emil and he jumped and played in the snow. I smiled at him, wishing I could be that age again where there were no worries or troubles to think about. Where everything was normal; and conflict was something I'd be completely oblivious to. When my parents would still be alive…<p>

I tried not to think about that day too much to prevent showing any emotion in front of Mathias. To him, I was some cold, reluctant Norwegian teenager with no home and only a brother for support that and suddenly been brought into his life. Only about half of it was true, but I wanted to keep it that way. If he realized just how much I desperately wanted things to be normal again, I'd never be left alone about it…

I had to wonder, though, how he had still managed to be so optimistic even with me around. He seemed just as happy even without me, yet I didn't understand how it was even possible in these conditions. His constant flirting…or kindness as he called it, the smile that never left his face, and those damned eyes that always brought me back to faltering…It was all connected to this happy aura that surrounded him. And for some reason, I hated it…

As I continued to keep a good eye out for my brother, and he waved and smiled at me, I found myself falling into a daydream. I placed my hand on my chin, then placed my elbow on my knee, and gently closed my eyes. I dreamed of my brother, and of my family. But most of all, I dreamed of Kya.

Oh Kya…how I missed her so much. It was hard to believe with how "cold and hostile" I was to have such feeling for her, but nonetheless, it hurt thinking about it; about how I'd possibly never see her again. I almost hated myself for choosing to leave, but mine and Emil's sake was much more important than any girl that came into my life would ever be.

Continuing to dream, I found myself sighing even more and more, and Mathias smirking even harder as he sat by my side.

"Got a girl on your mind, Lukas?" He asked, smirking deviously as his comment, and my eyes snapped open as I turned to him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a faint shade of pink dusting across my cheeks.

The runaway only chuckled. "Oh come on, Norge, you don't need to hide it. It's blindingly obvious you're in love! Pfft, and isn't it ironic that you were the one who said you'd never fall in love?" He paused. "What does she look like; is she nice?"

I paused for a moment as well, before sighing and shifting my eyes to the floor. "Well…she's kind, and sweet, and pretty…" I smiled as the girl crossed my mind again, pink turning to scarlet before I remembered Mathias was still there. "Wait, why do you care anyway?" I smacked him as he burst into a fit of laughter, and I just couldn't figure out why.

He continued to laugh, and my face only grew bright, and I kicked him on the side in an attempt to get him to shut up.

Mathias wiped his eyes, holding onto his stomach as he laughed even harder, and he eventually sat up right again. "Man Norge, you're so in love it's funny! What's her name; I might know her, ha ha ha!" He continued to laugh, and I shot a dark glare at his obliviousness.

"That's none of your business. Besides, you're from _Denmark_, and you've been living in isolation for two years straight! I doubt you know any girl besides Elizabeta…"

The Dane shrugged. "That may be true, but it's not like I really care or anything. I don't want a girlfriend right now; I'm perfectly fine one my own. Well…at least it got better when you showed up!" He told me, nudging me lightly on the side as he laughed, and I kicked him even harder as I got to my feet.

"See, that's exactly what I mean, you're _flirting _with me! Cut it out; it's not funny!" I yelled, the bridge of my nose turning pink. Yet with the effect of the temperature already playing its part on making my cheeks go rosy, there wasn't much to worry about.

"What? It's a lot of fun messing with you! You get pissed even if I tell you you're hair looks good…which it does," I cringed at that comment, yet he still continued. "My point is, you just gotta go with the flow and accept it as a compliment. See let's try it: Lukas, I think you look nice today." He seemed to add and emphasis at 'nice', and I clenched my teeth as horrid possibilities began to ran through my head. There couldn't…no, there was no possible _way_ that could even be true!

My eyes closed shut, and my teeth lay bared to prevent from anything slipping out. "Not gonna say it…"

"Come on, Norge, just say it! Just thank me!"

"I'm not going to say it, Mathias…"

"Say it, Lukas~."

"I'm not going to say it, Mathias."

With that, he got to his feet as well, walking towards me until I suddenly felt my chin being tipped up and my eyes snapped open.

"Norge~, thank me~. Or must I have to persuade you otherwise~?" He sang, a devious smirk creeping across his faces as I backed away from him. "Do it…"

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, JUST DON'T. _TOUCH_. _ME._" I yelled, finding myself nearly screaming in horror as if the runaway were about to murder me, and as I stumbled back he fell to the ground in fits of laughter. Embarrassed blush spread across my cheeks at my dismay, and I furrowed my brow as a scowl began to form. "Stop laughing at me; it's not funny, dumbass!"

"It's plenty funny, Norge; All I've got to do to make do something is act like I'm going to kiss you or something! You're so easy!"

Continuing to glare, I kicked a patch of snow in his face, not even remembering to worry about Emil anymore. This was between Mathias and me only. "I'm not you're little toy, Mathias; stop tricking me!" He only continued to laugh harder. "What's so funny?"

"It's _you_, Lukas!"

I went quiet at that moment, my face still stained red, and my expression grew curious. "W-What?"

The Dane got to his feet, sighing and continuing to chuckle, and he ruffled my hair playfully as I kicked him away. "Your reaction; you always have reactions to things. It's sort of strange, though, thinking about how dull and apathetic you tend to be. You're original, Norge, and that's what I like about you." He explained, and he smiled as my mind went blank and words began to fumble.

I couldn't find anything to respond to that. My mouth just lay agape, stubborn blush coated over my chilled face, and I sat in silence as the air went dull. My ears had felt as if they were about to burst into flames and the only thing I could respond with was a mere stutter. His words…they shocked me for some reason.

"I-…you idiot!" I yelled, getting to my feet and pushing him back as I faltered, shifting my eyes to the ground to avoid anymore embarrassment.

Yet that didn't cut it, as Mathias seemed to get and even bigger kick out of that, and he began to laugh again. "See, that's exactly what I mean! Try to be a little more carefree and you'll find yourself not caring about what other people say." He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his head before averting his eyes as well. "You wanna go shoot a couple arrows? We could probably get a hit if there aren't too many animals hibernating already."

I turned to him, still in disbelief, with the blush never fading to my annoyance. I cocked and eyebrow, crossing my arms as I turned to look at Emil. He seemed content messing around in the snow, bundled up from what I had given him to use for warmth.

"We still have Emil to worry about, you know."I told him, reminding the Dane that we still had my little brother to look after as well. It wasn't as if I were just going to get up and _leave _him, that wasn't how it worked with us! I wanted him to be with me this entire time to prevent from anything bad from happening if he were to ever get out of my sight. He was only four, yet that thought had almost turned hypocritical as for several minutes I had only worried about Mathias's comments…

Mathias brushed it off, picking up the bows and arrows he taken with him, and started in the opposite direction. "Well, we can bring him with us! C'mon, it'll be fun!" With that, he was gone.

I sighed, apparently having to give in without even having my say, and I called Emil to follow me. "Emil, we're walking down this way, come on." I said, and he stopped and smiled before stumbling to catch up with me.

Mathias was right when he said the temperature has most certainly warmed up, as my breath had only come out in little puffs, and the air brushing against my face was nice and cool. A blue hue lay open in the sky, and snow has stopped falling that morning as it was completely clear. The light beamed off of the snow on the trees, glistening with a sparkling touch in them, and I observed our setting as the Dane led us away from the river and deeper into the forest. Emil trailed right behind me, grabbing hold of my hand as he skipped with Mr. Puffin held in his open one.

I wasn't completely aware of where Mathias was taking us, but with him being out there for two years and actually managing, there had to at least be a small archery course he had made. Yet as we made our way through, apparently that thought had been oddly correct.

The ring of trees and snow I had seen before when Emil and I first met him has a small target painted onto a tree, yet I had never seen it before. We had to have just missed it as we came in, as it looked fairly old with the paint of the third ring slowly chipping off.

Looking around a little more, Mathias turned to me, slinging the bow around his shoulder as he smiled. "Alright, this is the place. We're pretty close to the cave, so I think it'll be ok if Emil-."

"Emil is staying here with me." I told him, cutting him off as I grew more irritated with his lack of protection for my brother.

He continued. "Well, it'll probably be more safe if he went back to the cave and wasn't around _all these sharp arrows_, but I guess you're idea is probably better!"

I sighed, rolling me eyes at him as I knew exactly what the teen was planning. I leaned down to Emil's level, giving him a rare, gentle smile as I spoke. "Emil, go back to the cave, alright? We'll be there in a little while, but if anything or anybody comes in there, just yell for us, ok? And do not pick up Mathias axe under _any_ circumstances, alright?"

He nodded nervously, making his way back to the cave, which lay in slightly in sight from the angle I was standing at. I turned to Mathias, glaring, and took a step forward towards him. "You did this for a reason, didn't you?"

The Dane beamed, nodding slowly as he set his bow to the ground. "Of course I did; I didn't want Emil to get hurt!"

It wasn't hard to see right through that lie, and I pushed him back a little bit and continued to scowl. "No, you did this to get him out of our sight; you wanted to be alone with me!" I yelled, my cheeks turning red as I realized the significance of the comment. "Oh God…"

"What is it now; when will you stop being so paranoid about everything, Norge?"

"I'm not being paranoid! I just…I've known you for a _day_…a-and you're acting as if…" I stopped, my face glowing even more red as moments passed by, and the thought had processed through my mind.

Mathias raised an eyebrow at my sudden silence. "As if what?"

I continued to stay silent, the burning blush on my face spreading all the way to the bridge of my nose. How could I just nonchalantly say _that _to him? Yet without even thinking, and as my entire face had burst into flames, I blurted out the rest of the words I'd held back. "A-As if you're in love with me!"

The Dane went completely still at that, a hazy fog of silence surrounding us, and I watched as a fair amount of bright crimson had made its way to his cheeks. "…Oh…"

I sighed, turning to him was the blush never fading, and I caught what looked like a hint of reluctance in his eyes.

_It can't be true…could it?_

"Look Mathias, I'm perfectly fine with doing a little archery, as long as it doesn't consist of _you_ having your hands all over _me_."

Mathias continued to stay quiet, almost saddened it seemed, and he shifted his eyes to the snow on the ground as he reached for his bow. He mumbled something quietly under his breath, something I couldn't quite make-out, yet my eyebrow remained cocked as I crossed my arms.

After several more moments of silence, he sighed, nodding. "We should probably get started before it starts getting too cold out here. Blizzards are known to come out of nowhere in the middle of the day. You, uh, wanna shoot first?" He asked me, scratching the back of his head with his eyes still averted. The runaway's lips curled into a soft smile, and I nodded lightly as he handed me the bow. "You know how to do this, right?"

I observed the object, turning it gently in my hands, and shook my head. "No, but I've seen my grandfather use one before he died. That was several years ago, though."

His smile only grew wider. "Great; that means I get to show you!" Without missing a beat, and before I could even process that comment through my mind, I found Mathias standing directly behind me. He took my hands in his own, the chilled touch sending a sharp chill running down my spine, and a faint shade of red had made its way onto the tip of my nose and cheeks.

"Alright, first, you gotta put your hand just below the rest. You're right-handed, right?" I nodded. "Good! Ok, so hold the bow with your left hand there to hold it steady." The Dane used my hands to place them in the correct place, and I felt my face heating up even more as he grew closer. "Alright, now, nock the arrow and put it on its rest. You know, where the little plastic thing is that holds it steady? …Good! Now, attach the back of the arrow to the string, and pull it back."

I did as I was told, pulling back the string as I turned to him. "This right?"

He observed me for a moment, squinting his eyes and he shook his head. "Nope, you've gotta put it in between in your index and middle finger. Here, let me show you!" With that, he took my fingers and placed them between the arrow, then rested his head on the nook of my shoulder and I felt my body shaking.

"What are you doing?" I asked the Dane, feeling the steady beat of my heart rapidly speed up, and I could feel the throbbing of it block out most of my hearing and control.

Mathias turned to me, smiling as he looked up, and the glimmer in his eyes was all too strong for me to handle.

"I'm getting a better view so I can see where you'll be shooting; I'll move back in a minute."

I nodded, pulling back the string again as I licked my lips, squinting my eyes to catch aim of wear I was shooting on the target. I felt Mathias take a step back, and with that I released, squeezing my eyes shut and bracing for impact. Then, when all fell silent, I watched as the arrow flew into the first ring, and the Dane's jaw fell to the floor. "Norge…you got a bullseye!" He cried, his expression of shock soon turning to joy, and he patted my back as praise. "Well done; even I couldn't have gotten one on my first try! Heh, you must be a natural and didn't even know it!"

I could only nod at that, murmuring a small "thanks", and I readied another arrow for shooting.

"Do it again; this time I want to see how well you do with distractions!" He beamed, a huge grin plastered to his face.

I cocked an eyebrow. "So _that's _why you wanted Emil gone..." I said sarcastically, the comment apparently not transferring through Mathias's mind correctly as he continued to go on.

"You're gonna need distractions if you want to get really good, Norge! Nothing is ever going to be in complete tranquility, you know."

Sighing, I raised my bow up, concentrating on the target in front of me as I braced for the impact of Mathias's "distraction". Just as I released, though, that's when he decided to grab hold of my shoulders.

"LUUUUKKKKAAAASSS~, ARE YOU DISTRACTED YET~?" He yelled, cackling wildly as I jumped from the sudden scare, and my arrow ended up flying straight into the heart of a snowy pine tree.

I turned to the Dane, glaring, smacking his shoulder as he continued to laugh. Did this guy _ever _stop laughing? "Damn it, Mathias; go get the arrow!"

"I ain't getting it, you shoot it, you get it!"

"Yes, but they're _your _arrows, not mine. And I'm not your babysitter; it's not my problem you made me lose my balance! Jeez, to think I'm a year younger than you and you act like you're the younger one…"

He smirked. "But you were the one who shot it, so technically it is your problem now." His smile only grew wider and even more devious at that comment, and that's when I knew he'd already come up with some kind of twisted plan to do something obscene… "Norge, go get the arrow."

"No."

"Do it."

I crossed my arms once more. "No."

That smile grew wider. "Ok, I'll make a deal with you. You get the arrow, and I'll give you a reward~."

"You're acting like a child, Mathias!"

"Come on~, Norge~. I really want to give you this surprise! Trust me, you'll love it!" He whined, pleading me with those big blue eyes, and I continued to scowl at his childishness.

"Bribery doesn't work on me. Besides, there are plenty more arrows to go around, we won't run out for a while." I paused, and then started towards the cave. "We should go back now; it's cold and I'm worried about Emil. We can always come back and get it later."

The air lay still, and the only sound that came from under me was the crunching snow as I trudged my way through it. Mathias stayed where he was, silent, and although I couldn't see him I could still imagine that smile burned into the back of my mind.

Thus, he then spoke up. "Hey, Lukas, can I still give you that surprise?" He asked, and I turned back around to see exactly what I had expected.

"It depends on what it is."

"Just…come here; I have it with me!"

I sighed, nonetheless giving in, and I made my way back towards him "I swear if you-"

"Close your eyes, Norge." He ordered, cutting me off.

My expression turned bewildered. "Why?"

"Just do it. And hold out your hands, too."

Confused, I did as he said, nervously shutting my eyes as my thoughts began to spin, anxiously awaiting the supposed gift he had planned to give me. Yet as I counted the subtle breaths that had escaped from his mouth, all went silent. And instead of finding an object in my open hands, I felt a pair of moist lips meet my left cheek.

And he kissed me.

My eyes snapped open, vicious, hot crimson spreading rapidly from the bridge of my nose all the way to my ears, and all I could even manage to do was punch him dead in the mouth with embarrassment.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did we _not _already discuss that I've only known you for a _day? _What were you thinking, idiot?" I yelled, watching as blood poured out from his nose and colored the white snow a deep shade of red.

Yet instead of getting angry or turning shocked, the Dane began to laugh again, and at his howls I only grew even angrier. "Answer me!"

"Man, that was totally worth the bloody nose! Your reaction was _priceless_! Ha ha, I've never seen somebody get so angry over one stupid kiss!" He said, howling with laughter as he began to get to his feet, yet only plopped back into the snow laughing harder.

A scowl grew onto my face, and the blush never seemed to fade down. "It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both _guys_!"

"That's that best part; it makes it all the more awkward! And I'm the _master _at making things completely awkward for people!" Calming down, he got to his feet, picking up the rest of the bows as he made his way past me, and began walking in the opposite direction of the cave. "I'm going to go buy-."

"_Steal_." I corrected.

Mathias rolled his eyes, smiling at me. "I'm going to go get a couple more things from the market. Make yourself at home!"

And with that, he has disappeared across the horizon.

I continued to glare as I watched his silhouette fade, and I pressed my fingers against my heated cheek. The kiss still lingered, and I felt myself growing even more disgusted at the thought of his daring move.

_Damn you, Mathias; idiot Dane thinking he'll make me give in. Well I'll never give in…my heart belongs to Kya…_

I never spoke of it to Emil as I entered the cave.

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><p><strong><em>LONG CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY LONG. But, then again, all of these chapters will be really long!<em>**

**_...You know...I REALLY want to make a video of me actually trying the "Mathias Manwich of Awesome"...because I've never actually tried in and came up with the idea at complete random..._**

**_So~…Mathias and Lukas's love-hate relationship is finally starting to take place, but it's going to be a while until any real romance will start. This chapter turned out COMPLETELY different from anything I'd planned, but I'm happy with the way it turned out. I haven't done archery since June, so I only used what I remembered from it. I apologize if any of that information is wrong! ^^;_**

**_Thank you all so, so much for the reviews and faves; I really appreciate them! I haven't had time to reply back to any of my reviews, but I hope I'll be able to get to that this time! So~, please continue to review, and chapter eight will be out even sooner! :D_**


	8. Chapter 8: I Won't Hurt You

I've stuck to my word and promised to put this chapter out! BUT PREPARE. FOR THE MOST INNOCENT EMIL SCENE. EVER. JUST SAYIN'. XD Thanks so much for all the feedback, and enjoy and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetaila or its characters.**

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><p>As dusk had fallen, I'd found myself washing Emil in an old, large bucket I'd found sitting near the corner of the cave. The water, having been cleaned and boiled already, lay at a surprising lukewarm despite the cold temperature, and he mumbled quietly as I rubbed shampoo in his hair.<p>

Mathias had not returned yet from his "trip" to the market since that afternoon, and I'd spent most of the time during that cleaning my cheek thoroughly with water and soap. The feeling of the Dane's lips still rested on my cheek even after all that, and I couldn't figure out why I was still lingering.

The thoughts haunted me as they spun through my head, and the only explanation that even made any sense still had no proof, so I quickly shook it out from my mind.

Yet that kiss…

_Stop thinking about it, Lukas; it only make things worse!_ I told myself, focusing back on cleaning Emil as I rinsed out his hair with a pail of water.

"Is the water ok, Emil?" I asked him gently, scrubbing his belly with the bar of soap, and then squirting conditioner onto my hands.

He turned to me, nodding, splashing around in the little amount of space he had.

I smiled. "Good, I don't want it to be too cold for you."

With that, I continued to rub conditioner through strands of silvery hair, and in the subtle silence, as Mathias was not around, he turned to me and spoke with a faint expression of melancholy on his face. "Lukey, I miss Kya…" The child told me, sighing lightly as he continued to splash in the water.

I sighed as well at the thought of our friend, averting my eyes to the floor as today's events came rushing back into my mind. "I miss her too, Emil…But we may get to see her soon enough as soon as spring starts and all this goes away." I told him, knowing all was a lie in the back of my mind as us leaving was the start of our new lives. Yet he'd probably never even remember it.

Silence set it. "Did you love Miss Kya, Lukey?" Emil asked, a small smile spreading across his face.

Warmth dusted across my cheeks, yet I nonetheless nodded. "Yes, Emil, I loved her very much. She was one of my closest friends; it's almost impossible not to love her after all she's done for us." Memories of the girl began flooding back into my mind, and a rare, dozy took crossed my face as I began to think of her. It wasn't hidden that I missed her, and obviously Emil could tell, yet his next question took me back again to reality again.

"Well…what about Mattie, don't you love him too?"

With more heat spreading across my cheeks, I shook my head and sighed. "Emil…I don't love Mathias. Actually, I don't even _like _him! When did you get such a silly idea like that?" I asked, giving him a sincere smile as I poured water onto his head.

The boy closed his eyes, braced for the liquid to run across him, and as streaks cascaded down his face, he lay in thought. That is, until his smile returned, and he answered with another innocent comment. "But whenever you talk about him, your face turns all red!"

"It's…it's not blush, Emil, it's just a natural effect from the cold weather. See, your cheeks are red as well." I told him, poking his cheek lightly as he giggled.

His expression turned serious after that, though, and he turned to me with a glimmer of curiosity shining in his eyes. "Brother, why can't boys love other boys?" Emil asked me, oblivious and innocent as ever with a question like that.

My face continued to stay heated, and I sighed once more knowing I'd have to explain this to him sooner or later. It wasn't anything too unreasonable for a four-year-old to know, it was only something subtle like this. Yet I had to explain it in the most understandable way possible…

"Emil…you…it's hard to explain, but some people are born to like boys, and some are born to like girls. Or sometimes even both. Some people don't like people like that, so they…have to hide it. It's not a bad thing, brother, it's just…most people aren't like that…" I explained, letting out a long sigh of relief as he went quiet. It wasn't that I _minded _homosexuality in anyway, it was just…awkward…talking about it to Emil, who was already so young.

Nonetheless, though, the questions kept coming. "But why not? Why is it so bad?"

When did the boy become so curious? After all, he was only a child with questions, but this was one of the most mature conversations we'd ever had considering his age!

"Brother," I spoke. "sometimes people don't like these things because they think boys are only supposed to like girls, and girls are only supposed to like boys. That's the case most of the time, but…it's very hard for a little one like you to understand…"

Emil nodded, and he turned to me once more after a tense pause had set in. "Are you like that, Lukey? Do you like boys?"

My eyes widened in surprise at his question, and blush remained. He was so young; so oblivious to all this sexuality talk. I didn't even think he'd care so much! Yet there was no way from avoiding the topic anymore. After all, he was only just asking a question out of curiosity; he couldn't control it.

I shook my head. "No, Emil, I don't like them. You'll understand this more when you're older…"

Another pause.

"Well…do I like boys?" He asked me, a sudden look of worry growing on his face.

I chuckled, ruffling his hair as I grabbed an old towel resting at my side to dry the child off with. "That's for you to decide, Emil; I can't do it for you. You were either born that way or weren't; there's not another way I can put it." I explained, signaling for him to let me wrap him up and dry him off.

At that, he smiled. "Girls are icky though, and boys would be even ickier!" Emil said so proudly, beaming as I ran a towel through his damp hair before picking him up and wrapping him around in it. The child shivered as a gust of wind picked up and brushed against his face, and he rubbed against me for warmth as I wrapped him tighter.

Just then, Mathias stumbled into the cave, dropping various miscellaneous items from the pockets of his trench coat as he panted.

"_Man _does that place get crazy around Christmas!" He laughed, falling back onto a pile of pillows for rest, and he glanced over at me with a smirk on his face as I held Emil to warm his chilled body up. "So Norge, what did you talk about while I was gone?"

My cheeks reddened, remembering mine and my brother's conversation, yet I pulled off a mere façade and only shrugged. "How we're actually going to be to manage staying with you for this long…" I spat, an apathetic tone hanging in my voice as I pulled Emil's shirt over his head.

Mathias only laughed. "Ha ha, very funny, Norge," He said sarcastically, yet continued. "now tell me what you were _really _talking about~."

By the time I had turned to tell him to drop the subject, he was already in my face, a cleaver smirk plastered onto the Dane's face as if he had heard the entire conversation. My face flushed even more at that thought, and as he grew closer I had to try my best to keep the subtle frown on my face stable. Growing closer, his breath blew into my ear, sending a sudden chill down my spine as I yelped lightly, and I pushed him back as little as he whispered into my ear. "I know your secret…"

"What secret…?" I asked, shifting my eyes back to Emil as I helped him slide his pants and coat back on, and set the child down to run off and play.

The Dane's smile only crept more across his face, the mischievous glimmer in his blue eyes growing, and that's when I began to grow wary. "I knew you were different the second I met you. Heh, just as I suspected…You're in denial…"

"_Mathias!_" I found myself involuntarily yelling, and at that the entire setting fell silent, with only the faint crackling on the fire being the only sound the filled the cave. My face grew red with embarrassment as Emil turned to me, and I shifted my eyes back on Mathias as they began to turn icy. "Follow me; right now. Emil, stay here, alright?" I said sternly, taking hold of the runaway's arm as I led him into the frozen night.

The sun has already dipped down behind the mountains, and a glimmering sparkle from distant lights lay scattered across the horizon. The dim light of the fire could be seen from where we were standing just outside of the cave, and I could see the faint puffs of air as Mathias breathed and a dazed look on his face rested. I huffed loudly, trudging through the snow as I released his arm, and he stumbled back a little as a result.

"What the hell is wrong with you tonight, Norge? You're acting all…pissed and stuff!" Mathias said, his voice growing yet it stayed at a hissed whispered.

"It's _you_, Mathias! You're the one making me so pissed!" I exclaimed, grabbing hold of my head as I began to pace, and a tense sigh escaped from my mouth. "How the hell did you overhear us talking in the first place? How long were you even there?"

"Only a few minutes; all I heard was you talking to him about how you're not gay and stuff. How did that even start in the first place?" He asked me, his voice holding a steady, calm tone in it despite me knowing he wasn't too happy either.

I sighed once more, and as if it never went away my cheeks continued to stay heated. "Mathias…" I started, eyes averted to the snowy ground, yet fell back on his expression as I continued. "He thinks…I…that we're…" The words continued to falter, and I paused to think them over. "He thinks I'm in love with you…or possibly the other way around. Just lay off with the flirting, ok. It's creeping me out, and it's only making him get bad ideas! Besides, we've only known each other for not even two days and you're already acting as if we've known each other for several years!"

Silence. For once, Mathias had nothing to say about that. He only stayed in the same spot he had been before, his expression having what seemed like a hint of melancholy past its confused façade, and his eyes lay averted to the ground. "You know I only do it to antagonize you, right?"

I turned to him, my eyes falling into slits, and a long sigh escaped from my mouth. "I figured that out a long time ago." I stayed quiet at that, arms crossed, yet another question came to mind. "Why did you kiss me?"

Mathias turned to me almost immediately at that, and through the dim light I could see a glowing pink fall onto his cheeks. "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday; during my archery lesson. You said you had a surprise for me, but instead you kissed my cheek. There's defiantly some things wrong with you, but why the _hell_ would you do something so stupid like that?"

My voiced lay composed, yet he didn't respond. My glare only grew more intense, and at his silence I'd finally come to leave it at that. "Forget it, then. It's cold and I'm going back to the cave. You can stay out here and freeze if you like."

As I made my way back to the cave, thoughts began to spin vigorously in my mind. Why didn't he answer that question; why did he even do it in the first place? My cheeks reddened at these thoughts, and I brushed them away as I kept my eyes focused on the ground and watched my feet as the moved.

Just then, Mathias finally decided to speak up. "Lukas, wait." He said, and I turned to him only to find his cheerful expression gone and overtaken by worry and wanting.

"What is it now?" I said coldly, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jacket, and he averted his eyes to the ground before shifting them back onto me.

"You said you were completely straight. Is that true?"

At his words, my eyes grew wide, and I nodded. "Oh course I'm straight; why would you ask something like that? Didn't you say you heard everything already?"

The Dane sighed. "You say you can't trust me, so I guess if we're living out here together I'm just going to have to trust you. And I do, believe me. …I just want you to be happy while you're staying with me."

Instead of that infamous goofy smile returning to his face, a warm, sincere one had took its place instead, and although I knew he meant it, I just couldn't bring myself to smile back. I didn't know why I was so hostile with the Dane, but this entire conversation had twisted my mind into goo, and I just didn't know how to respond to that.

I continued to have my back facing him, and I took another step as I spoke. "Well then I guess it'll never be enough…"

A pause set in.

"…But what if I'm enough; what would you do then?"

The silence lay thick as I turned to him, and for the first time a serious expression lay pinned to his face. I only sighed. "Well then that's a risk I'm not willing to take."

Mathias stood there in the cold for several minutes before coming in.

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><p>The night lay still as we curled up around the fire, and with my body temperature dropping all too rapidly it was the only time I'd actually agreed to let Mathias prop up next to me. His arm lay slung around my shoulder, much to my dismay, yet I allowed it as I was near freezing in this weather. Emil rested contently in my lap, and I stared into the fire as an orange inferno swirled.<p>

That fire haunted me…it brought terrible memories of the few mere nights before. As Emil and I risked our lives to save ourselves and each other to get out of our burning house, and ended up having to leave anyway. And then we'd end up getting stuck with this idiot…

As much as I hated him, though, he was slowly beginning to grow on me. I hated to admit it, _absolutely _hated to admit, but I was finally capable of standing him now. That is, when he was quiet…

We hadn't spoken for most of the night; just lay sitting next to the warmth that radiated from the fire, and took that in. We had eaten what little of what we had left for dinner, yet that consisted of half a slice of bread and an apple for each of us. Not to mention a few scraps of sandwich meat the Dane had been using for the few days now. It wasn't exactly an ideal meal, but as hungry as we were we'd settle for anything at the moment.

But, as the silence went on, it was Emil who was the first to break it. Not with words, though, but with a violent coughing fit as I gently rocked him back to sleep and he cried.

"Shh~, Emil, go back to sleep." I murmured, kissing his forehead as tears rolled down his cheeks from the pain, and he nuzzled up against me as the boy groaned and fell back asleep.

Mathias turned to me, a concerned look making its way onto his face, and speaking up he remembered something. "I forgot to mention," He started, reaching for a small bottle he had dropped when he'd come back from "shopping". "I got Emil some medicine. You know, so that he feels better and stuff; also so that he won't get sick. It can get pretty cold out here sometimes for such a young kid…"

Mathias handed me the bottle, and holding it in my hand in slight awe I turned to him. "You really shouldn't have stolen something like this…it's expensive…" I told him, more shocked that he'd have the nerve to steal something like that than the fact he'd actually gotten it for my little brother.

The Dance shrugged. "Eh, it wasn't that expensive. Easy to hide, too. It was only about twelve bucks, I'd say."

"It'll never work…his condition isn't something where medicine will help him instantly…"

"It's better than not doing anything at all, though."

He did have a point there, and sighing I gently woke Emil up, smiling sincerely as he moaned and looked up at me with tired eyes and a groggy expression. "Is it morning, Lukey…?" He asked tiredly, falling onto my chest.

"No, it's not morning yet. But I do want to give you some medicine so that you'll feel better." I told him, reaching for a lone water bottle cap resting near my side, and carefully opened and poured the medicine into it. Blood-colored liquid well into the cap, and seeing this his eyes went wide.

Emil squeaked, avoiding the medicine at all costs as he pushed it away, and I sighed once more as he refused to take it. "Please, Emil…it'll make you feel better."

The child looked at me, tears welling in his eyes, and he shook his head. "I don't like medicine…" He whined, pushing it away again.

"Emil…you'll feel a lot better if you take it…Please, you'll stop coughing…"

This time, he took the medicine in his head, staring at it as he reluctantly poured it all down his throat, and began to gag after he threw the cap off to the side. "Yucky…"

I sighing, stroking his hair gently as he plopped his head back onto my chest, and coughed once more. "I know, brother, but it'll at least make you feel better for the night…" I sighed, listening to his groans as he snuggled up against me, and accidently pulled on one of the pockets of my jacket as he set his hands down. And somewhere in between that, a piece of glazy paper fluttered out from the pocket and slid across the cave. Directly in front of Mathias.

"What's this?" He asked, picking it up as he raised an eyebrow and stared at the photo.

I knew exactly what it was…

_Crap…I forgot I'd taken that with me…_ I thought, face turning scarlet as I reached to snatch to picture for his grip, trying to keep Emil from moving around.

"Give that back to me; don't take things that aren't yours!" I said, yet he blocked my hands with his arm and nonchalantly continued to stare at the photo

"That kid…is that kid…you?" He asked, and his eyes went calm.

At that, I went silent, looking at the photo as he turned and pointed to towards me, and my stomach immediately dropped at what I saw.

That picture was taken before Emil was born when my mother was still pregnant with him. I wasn't even twelve at the time, and the picture was our holiday card we had sent to the family. My mother…her eyes so cheerful and fun of life and smiled and rubbed her belly. Her hair lay a fair shade of blonde as it hung loosely over her shoulders; my color, it seemed. My father; his eyes holding their dull hue like mine, yet he managed to show a faint smile. His hair was so light it almost seemed a snowy white, just like Emil's. And then there was me…smiling. I was happy then…

I took the picture from him, this time gingerly, and gazed at it as mournful tears began to well up in the corner of my eyes. "Yeah, that's me…" I said quietly, my voice so soft it seemed as if it a whisper, and it held a raspy tone as if a rattle had been shoved down my throat. "We took it a few years before they died…Emil wasn't even born yet…"

Mathias, quiet now and smiling, pointed to my mother. "Your mother; she's very beautiful in that picture. You look exactly like her…" He murmured, chuckling at bit at our resemblance.

That comment brought me to give him a faint smile, and I nodded as a hint of pink touched to bridge of my nose. My eyes turned misty as I spoke, and words only came out in soft whispers. "And Emil looks exactly like my father…"

The Dane said no words, only silence for my mourning, and he turned to Emil as he slept contently in my arms.

"You know, I've only known you two for a day and a half, yet I can already tell how much you love him just from looking at something like this…" He whispered as well, and he leaned down to stroke Emil's hair.

Every barrier that had been holding back my emotions had broken at that, and hot tears began to roll down my cheeks as I wiped them away with my sleeve.

"He's all I have left…" I murmured, sniffling lightly as I sobbed, and I buried my face into my knees to hide my crying mug. These memories…these haunting, cruel memories had all been brought back at the sight of that picture, and how it brought tears to my eyes even after only two years still shocked me.

The memories of my parents, and how that picture was all I had of their smiling faces. I'd lost everything, and Emil was the last thing remaining that I truly loved and cared about so deeply. I couldn't lose him; if the child were to ever slip out from under the grip of my safety, I'd never think again…

I didn't want to cry in front of Mathias; it was the last thing I wanted as an impression. Yet as involuntary sobs continued to escape from my mouth, I felt a gentle hand resting on my shoulder.

"Norge…are you ok?" He asked softly, and for the first time as I looked up I saw his eyes filled with empathy instead of their typical deviousness.

My eyesight had become a blur from the tears welled in my eyes, and a stream of hot saltwater trailed down my cheeks as I shook my head. "…No…"

I was shaking by that time, my lip quivering violently as I fell into Mathias's chest, and although I tried my best not to wake my brother up, I cried even harder. I didn't want anything to do with having Mathias comfort me; I never even wanted to be crying into him in the first place! Yet it was the only thing I found myself capable of doing without losing all of my senses, and although it wasn't normal for me it was all I could do.

The Dane's arm had been placed around my shoulder, him holding me as he soothed, and I clung to his trench coat as I sobbed.

"Shh~, Lukas, it's alright…" He calmed, tracing his fingers along my back with his other arm holding me tightly, and bumbling wildly I attempted to find my words.

"E-Emil…h-he's going to die very soon…The smoke caught in this lungs is just too s-strong, it's much worse than mine! A-And…I can't do anything to help since we don't even have insurance or the money to take him to the hospital! This is all my fault…e-everything is my fault…We've lost everything, and it's all because of me!" I whispered, my voice hoarse and shaky as I spoke, and it seemed as if it had jumped up an entire octave.

Mathias shook his head, pulling my closer as he leaned his cheek against mine, and for the first time I wanted nothing more than comfort for the runaway. "No, Lukas, that's not true. I don't know how the fire even started, but what I do know is that Emil's health has nothing to do with you. He's going to be fine, I promise. It'll get better along the way, and I'll do anything I can to help you both. You may have lost your parents and your home, but as runaways we have to stick together." He told me, and I could feel the warmth radiating from our cheeks as I leaned against him.

I sniffled. "I love Emil so much…he's everything to me. I can't lose him; not now! I just can't!" My fingers dug into Mathias's shirt, and I had to wonder how my little brother was sleeping so contently through all this. He had to have been exhausted…

"I know you do very much, Norge, and as your host I'll make sure he's happy. You're my guests here; it's my job." He added a light chuckle at that end of that sentence, and seeing that I was not smiling in return the Dane sighed, lifting me head up as he tipped my chin to look at him, and a serious expression lay on his face. "Don't cry now, Lukas. It'll all turn out ok in the end."

He wiped the stray tears falling from my eyes, giving me a reassuring smile. Yet before Icould even say anything to stop him, he spoke up first. "Before you get angry at me, I know we've only known each other for a short amount of time. But I can already tell there's going to be great things in store for us."

'Great things in store for us'…whatever that meant…

I continued to frown, punching his shoulder lightly. "You're so annoying, idiot…"

Mathias smiled at that, lying my head down on his lap, and I held onto Emil gingerly as I lay curled up next to the Dane.

"Go to sleep, Norge…" He whispered, and I did as told as I slowly closed my eyes and drifted off.

This comfort…it was something I had not experienced since the day of my parents' death. I enjoyed it…it felt soothing to me…And falling asleep in Mathias's embrace, I could care less about any of our trouble that had occurred the day before.

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><p><em><strong>A'h~, and so the DenNor train of magic has finally set off! I also smiled when I saw today was December 14<strong>__**th**__**…how far I've come with this. :) There's going to be just a little break from the plot in the next chapter, as it will entirely consist of a flashback. But, it'll still follow everything that's happened so far.**_

_**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and do continue to review! I love reading what all of you have to say about this story. ^^ Hey~, look at me not studying for finals...If I don't manage to put out chapter nine in the next two weeks, I wish you all happy holidays! :D**_


	9. Chapter 9: Last Resort

Well…I got this finished pretty quickly now didn't I! This is what happens when I decide to put off studying for the night…Like I said, nothing new is happening in this chapter because it's a flashback, but it's a bit of a break from all of the fun romance that's been going on in the last few chapters. Oh~, but trust me, there's a LOT of angst coming! Enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia, or its character.s**

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><p><em>December 14<em>_th__, 2008._

"_Lukas, we're leaving now," My mother called from the top of the staircase, and I looked up from the book I was reading to see her make her way down the stairs as she straightened out the wrinkles of her skirt. Elina Bondevik…my mother…still alive, and so very full of life. Her expression was upbeat and cheerful, the dark blue in her eyes hidden by a façade of light, and she walked towards me. "Make sure to keep a sharp eye on your brother."_

_That was right, it was the 14__th__. The day of my parent's anniversary, and thus I was to stay at home and watch over my little brother. We'd never had any problems that past years they'd left me at home with him, and I knew my parents put trust in me. Yet everything that followed those events would haunt me until the day I died of letting them go off…_

_I gave her a faint smile. "I'll make sure he's occupied. Besides, he's only two, Mom, I don't think he'll get bored too easily when he's got his hands and feet to keep him entertained."_

_My mother laughed at my joke, kissing my lightly on the forehead, and she smiled. "Don't know what we'd do without you, Lukas. You've been such great help around here lately."_

_I smiled at her words, a light shade of bashful blush touching my ears, and I spoke. "It's the least I can do; I love Emil. You and Dad just need some time off to yourself." I told her, and she continued to smile as she slung her purse around her shoulder._

"_We'll be back in a few hours. Emergency numbers are on kitchen table. Just don't do anything to burn down the house!" She joked, waving goodbye as she mother walked out the door. "Love you, Lukas."_

_I nodded, turning back to my book as my father honked for her to hurry up. Little did I know that would be the last time I'd ever see my mother. And little did I know her last words would foreshadow everything that happened to us in the mere future…_

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><p><em>December 15<em>_th__, 2008._

_From that day forward, a day after the chaos of my parents' death, the world had suddenly begun to turn slow and every movement I made all seemed a blur to me. There was no funeral planned so far; no moving, no expectation. All I could do was stand in front of the mirror as tears rolled down my face and tell myself it was all a dream._

_I couldn't bring myself to believe any of this was true. It all just happened so fast; one moment I was saying goodbye to them for the night and now…it was forever…_

"_They're not dead…" I whispered hoarsely, letting the tears cascade down my face as my expression and body stayed frozen. "They can't be dead…Kya is lying to me…"_

_The view of the mirror was vivid, the boy trapped inside so scarred and helpless and his face had become raw and drenched from a fountain of saltwater. That boy was me, though; the lifeless me that couldn't bear this sorrow and agony that was slowly overtaking my body. I couldn't move; I only stood there in awe with my eyes going glazy, and as memories came rushing back of the night before I had finally snapped and crumbled. "DAMN IT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT; EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!" I wailed, slamming my fist against the mirror, watching as it shattered and flew in a directions, with my left cheek and hands seeping with sticky blood dripping down from them._

_I had faltered; hanging my head low in the sink, and I sobbed. I sobbed for my mother, for my mother, for myself. But most of all, I sobbed for Emil. He was oblivious to most of the tragedy, but later on he'd figure out all that was going on. I didn't want to be the one to tell him; I didn't want my little brother to see me in such pain and hurting. But if I wasn't going to, then who was?_

_My sobs grew louder, turning into shrill, hoarse screams, and my body shook so violently I had found myself falling to my knees with my eyes buried in my knees. "P-Please God…tell me this is all a dream…PLEASE!"_

"_Lukas…"_

_That voice…It had snapped me back into sense. I turned, only to find Kya standing there in anguish, the look on her face representing a horrifying melancholy, and she stared at me with sadness. "Don't…you're going to hurt yourself…"_

_I stopped breathing at that moment. The only thing I could manage to do with simply sit there in the circle of glass, wincing at the pain as the shards cut against my bare skin. My breath came out in short puffs as it returned, and watching the girl cry added to the pain of the situation. "Here, let me help you…"_

_With that, Kya took a shaky step towards me, being cautious of my condition after what she had just witnessed. She picked up the class carefully, being wary of stepping on any lone pieces, and set them gently in the sink as she reached down to pick up more._

"_K-Kya…g-go home! You shouldn't see me like this!"_

_The girl ignored me, continuing to pick up the broken glass. I began to grow angry with her, clenching my fists with my eyes turning cold. "Kya, get out of here; now!"_

"_I'm not leaving you, Lukas! You're hurt; I don't want you to do anything drastic!"Kya yelled, her voice raising as well as tears left streaks down her face, and the girl bit her lip._

_I was crying as well, my lip quivering like mad as my words came out in mumbles. "Please…Kya…go home…i-it's not safe here!"_

"_Lukas, stop with this crazy talk! I'm staying here with you!"_

_With that, I found myself being pulled into embrace as Kya hugged me, and hugging back I gripped onto the back of her shirt as the scent of strawberries and mint filled my nostrils. "I won't leave you like this…I can't let you do this to yourself…" She sobbed, and more tears fell from my eyes at that. She turned to me, blue eyes sparkling with a hue of melancholy, and the girl held onto my shoulders. "You're not ok, Lukas. I know how badly you're hurting right now. If my parents or I were to leave you right now, neither you nor Emil would be safe! Please…it's going to be alright…"_

_I choked on the saliva hanging on my tongue for a moment, yet it ironically felt excruciatingly dry. Sniffling hard, I wiped my eyes._

"_But you don't know, Kya…y-you don't know how this feels!" I managed to squeak out, an involuntary sob escaping from my mouth as I continued to cry._

"_I may not know how it feels exactly to be in your situation, but seeing you in this condition is killing me, Lukas! You can't rid yourself with guilt like this; it's not healthy! You have to be strong; strong for Emil!" Kya cried, her lip quivering. "Please…"_

_My words faltered, caught in the back of my throat as I couldn't speak, and all I could muster was to fling my arms around her and cry._

"_K-Kya…" I squeaked, and she held me as well._

"_I know, I know…"_

_We stayed like that until the sound of screeching tires had pulled up next tour driveway. And the side of the car read "Sosiale Tjenester"._

* * *

><p><em>Fear.<em>

_That was the only feeling I felt as I read the side of that car. Fear, and hatred; that was it. I'd kill whoever had called those Social Services bastards at that moment, but that would have meant even worse for me. All I could do was just stand and pray for the best as Kya and I held Emil as we hid in the corner of my room._

_Our breathing was short, and through the slits of the blinds of the window, we could see just outside the window. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see the men conversing with Kya's mother and father._

"_Do you think they're coming for you?" Kya whispered, clutching onto Emil and my hand._

_I nodded shakily. "I think so. We're minors, so I'd be a miracle if that actually agreed to let us live on our own. Your parents must have called them…"_

_She sighed, tears rolling down her face, and she held my hand tighter. "I'm so sorry…"_

"_It's not your fault, Kya…" I told her._

_The girl paused. "We have to figure out a way to let them let you stay…"_

"_I know…"_

_The room held an eerie silence, and although Emil was oblivious, he held onto my shirt, and I pulled him to closer to reassure everything was going to be fine. But that was a lie. We weren't for sure everything was going to be ok. I was terrified. The only thing I could do to reassure myself was to pray silently as we sat in silence._

_It all came too late though, with the sound of soft footsteps making their way up the stairs._

It's just Igor and Arla; it's just Igor and Arla…

_But as the door cracked open, and a smiling face came through, it was anything but Kya's parents._

"_Hello, children. I'm afraid I have some terrible news."_

* * *

><p>"E-Emil…don't take Emil from…me…"<p>

I'd been half awake when I said that, mumbling in my sleep as my dreams became even more vivid, and I clutched onto Mathias. "Don't take him from me…"

Mathias had been woken up from this, and I could tell as he caressed my cheek and soothed me.

"Shh~, you're dreaming, Norge. Go back to sleep…" He whispered, and I did as I was told as I nuzzled closer to the Dane for warmth.

Yet that choice wasn't in my favor as nightmares continued to swirl…

* * *

><p>"<em>NO, YOU CAN'T TAKE EMIL AWAY FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU!" I wailed, clinging onto the man's shirt as he attempted to take Emil from my grip, yet succeeded as he pushed me off of him.<em>

"_Sorry, kid; it's the law that we put you minors somewhere safe since you two are orphans now." He said, irritated as he picked up my little brother, much to his dismay as he squealed and tried to break free._

_Orphans…that word haunted me…I didn't want to be thought of as an orphan, yet my denial was killing me even more. _

_I had gotten to my feet by that time, trying to grab Emil from the Social Services man as I failed, and hot tears rushed down my face._

"_Please, sir, I'll do anything! Just please let me stay with my brother! PLEASE!"_

_The man didn't respond, only continued to walk, and as he ignored me I grew even more angry. "HE'S ONLY TWO, SIR; WE CAN'T BE SEPERATED! JUST PLEASE LET US STAY TOGETHER!"_

_I found myself being held back by another man as I tried to break loose, screaming in agony as I watched the man holding my brother walk out the door. Emil, although not aware to everything that was going on, kicked and wailed being in hold of this stranger, and he even tried to bite his arm to break loose. I could only stare in horror as this nightmare-of-a-scene unfolded, trying everything I could to make this man let go of me, but by that time I was already being dragged farther and farther away from my brother as he was taken away._

"_It's alright, child, do not cry now. You're going to go to a special little place where you'll have lots of new children to play with!" The man holding my brother told him, speaking in Norwegian, yet he still continued to scream._

"_DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, EMIL; HE'S LYING TO YOU! PLEASE, SIR, LET ME GO __NOW!__" I cried, only to find my voice muffled as a strong hand was placed over my mouth. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!"_

"_Calm down, kid, it's not like we're going to murder you or something. We're just taking you into foster care until we can find you both two new homes to live in." The man holding me back said, trying to sooth me yet I could hint the irritation in his voice._

_There was nothing I could do to break loose._

_We were done for._

_At that moment, it had processed through my mind that I'd never see my brother again, and I began to break down and fall to my knees in tears._

"_Sir, wait!"_

_That voice. It belonged to Kya, and as I turned around I saw her standing there. Tears stains ran down her olive skin, and her body was shaking do violently it was visible. "Sir, this kid…h-he's my brother!"_

_My jaw fell the floor. The Social Services man stood there in bewilderment. And for a moment, time just seemed to stop from a miracle taking place._

"_Excuse me?" He asked her, and Kya continued._

"_He's my brother, we're a year apart! I'm adopted, but he belongs to our parents biologically. Please don't take him away…he was living with our aunt and uncle…"_

_How she was able to come up with such an idea that fast, I still don't know. But all I knew was that somehow I was going to be stay with my brother._

_The man snorted. "Miss, we have the kid's information. We already know that his name is Lukas Bondevik, his age is fourteen, and Emil Bondevik is only two years old and his brother. His parents, Elina and Aleksander Bondevik died in a car accident yesterday. We also know you're name is Kya Kohler, you're fourteen as well, and you and your parents are living next door. Don't try to lie to us; your parents already told us everything we need to know."_

_All fate became lost at that moment. My heart sank, and I let out a soft squeak of pain as Kya's expression turned completely dumbfounded. Yet in a split second, as everything processed through her mind, the girl's eyes went misty again, and the shaking returned._

"_But…you can't take Lukas away; he's my best friend! Do you understand what it would do to him if you took him away from his brother; those two love each other so unconditionally it even scares me thinking about how mad they'd go without each other! Please, you can't do this!" She cried, and I could see the pain in her eyes and voice as she pleaded for them to let me stay._

_And at that moment, as my cheeks heated up and my heart thumped rapidly in my chest, I knew that there was defiantly more feeling for Kya than I'd ever expect there to be._

_The man continued to glare, dragging me outside, and all I could was give in accept it. There was no way he'd let us stay together._

"_I'm afraid I have to. I'd quite possibly lose my job if I let these two stay in this house as without their parents. Now just let me do my job and take them in better homes!"_

_Better homes…that most certainly was the opposite of what we'd be experiencing in a number of days. Yet Kya stayed quiet, thinking, until she had finally come up with her words._

"_Wait…but what if my parents take custody over them? You told me one time that your parents had no siblings, and that both of your grandparents died years ago, Lukas. Isn't that correct?_

_I nodded. It was true, though; my parents were both only children, and their parents had died two, four, and one year ago. _

_She continued. "Please, sir! I don't think there's any law regarding it since they have no relatives left, and we know their family very well!" She turned to her father, who was walking towards us. "Father, please tell them to let Lukas and Emil stay! You and Mom have to take custody over them; they're going to be separated in the foster homes! Please don't let these men do this…"_

_Her father thought for a moment, turning to me, then to Kya, and then finally to the man holding onto my arms, and he sighed. "That…that could work, Kya, but we'd need to do a lot of paperwork to let these two stay with us…" He said._

"_Please, Father, it's going to work! You can't let this go!"_

_There was a long pause before he sighed once more. "Lukas, would you be ok with this?" I nodded. "And Emil would to?" I nodded again. There was no way Emil would ever want to be taken away from this place judging by his reaction to be taken way. Igor turned to the man. "Sir, never in my years have I seen such a loving bond between these two brothers. It'd be heartbreaking to see them separated…I never thought when I called you men it would come to this; I just wanted to see what we could do for them...It might be our last resort…"_

_There was another long pause, the only sound being the rusty engine of the car and my breathing turning heavy with anxiety. Yet it seemed like hours before the reasoning of my release finally went through the man's head, and I felt the grip on my arms suddenly become no more._

_And the first thing I did as I was released was run to my brother as tears of joy streamed down my face, and held him to the point where I never wanted to let go._

* * *

><p>That day seemed all too clear and vivid for me. We had done all we could for Kya's parents to take custody over me and my brother after that, and in a time of a miracle, they allowed us to keep our home as long as one of her parents was living with us. Yet we broke our promise to that not a month after that, and Igor returned to his family as he knew we could live on our own, and he had an entirely different family to raise. They never did find out about that, though…<p>

"Mother…M-Mom…" I whispered, feeling the warm sensation of hot liquid rushing down my face as tears escaped from my eyes, and although I was half-asleep I would not reach up to brush them away.

"You're having another dream again, Norge. It'll be morning before you know it…" Mathias reassumed me, pulling me closer into his chest. His scent smelt musty and of cool pine, and I took it in as my eyes opened slightly.

Yet taking in the winter night as the sky still rested dark blue, I knew the passing hours would be the longest I'd ever experience.

* * *

><p>Well look at me, doing the same thing I did with All Barriers Broken...putting out certain chapter events SO much earlier than I wanted to. But, I'm actually very happy with how this chapter turned out! It's much shorter compared to the others, but it's supposed to be since it's a flashback. The original plot will return next chapter as well.<p>

Also, I'm not exactly Norwegian, per say, nor have I ever even been to Norway or know anybody who has, so I don't know how their law system works there. But, I do know that it is possible to be taken into custody by a well-known family friend in some cases. Well…that's at least what I've heard from my mom, but…yeah…I apologize in advanced if that's not right. ^^'

Thanks so much for all the feedback on here and on deviantART! I appreciate it so much, and I'd love to see more so I can make this story even more awesome! :D Finals end for us on Tuesday, so I hope to work on this more over winter break. But, I make no promises since I'll most likely be busy with other stuff. But trust me, Runaway Home isn't going away for a long~ time! ^^


	10. Chapter 10: We're the Best of Friends

Alright…so how I've actually managed being dragged away from Kuroshitsuji to write this honestly shocks me…XD Since break started, that was literally all I was doing, so I haven't been writing at all. Updates might not be as frequent these next two months because of preparations for the next convention I'll be at and filming with my cosplay group, but they should be back on track by late February or March. But, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews and comments I've gotten so far, I really do appreciate it! ^^ Enjoy and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

* * *

><p>The sky rested at a peachy orange as the sun peered over the horizon the next morning, and as my eyes slowly opened I found them resting on the rays of gold reflecting off of the fire Mathias had started and lit up our darkened setting. The Dane seemed lively, cooking what looked like the same thing we had had the day before with a bright smile on his face. He must have gone "shopping" in the early hours of the morning to get all that stuff with the little food we had left…<p>

Mathias turned to me as I perched myself up and groaned softly, and he gave me a sincere smile as he mixed the frying apples around with a wooden spoon.

"Good morning, Norge. Did you sleep well?" He asked me, whispering quietly. It was a strange gesture of his, being so quiet in the morning, yet looking down I realized his reason.

Emil was resting contently next to my knee, curled up in a blanket with Mr. Puffin secured tightly in his arms, and silver locks brushed over his eyes. I smiled, kissing him lightly on the forehead as I let him sleep, and placed another blanket on him gently to keep him warm. The child needed that warmth, as his condition was the worst out of our trio, and he need nothing more than a good night's rest to continue on with the next day.

I got to my feet and walked towards Mathias, wrapping a blanket around my chilled body as I sat next to fire. The heat radiated onto my body, and for the first time I had been content with this condition.

The runaway continued to smile, spreading a slab of butter onto a piece of bread evenly before piling apples on top of it, and as a twist, sprinkled an unknown spice on top of it all and then handed it to me.

I gave him a confused and wary look, and the smell of the spice smelt sweet yet strong. Cinnamon.

"Where did you get this?" I asked him, taking a bite of the sandwich as he turned to me. The cinnamon acted as a nice mixture to savory and sweet, and it was a good twist for once. I did love the spice, after all.

"I bought-"

"Stole…"

Mathias smiled, and spoke in a soft whisper. "I stole it today early this morning. After what happened last night, I thought you could need something to bring you up again; you like the type to like cinnamon."

The Dane's words confused me, as I had never spoken of my liking of it to him since we met, and after swallowing I spoke. "But I've never said anything about it before…" I told him, my voice more hushed than usual, yet it still lay just above a whisper.

He shrugged. "I can just tell."

I found myself frowning at that smile, as it still irked me, and I averted my eyes to the floor as I continued to eat. After all, our ration of food the day before was only meager, and I was starving by that time.

"Just keep it away from my brother…he's allergic…"

Mathias glanced at my sleeping brother before fixing his gaze back on me, and chuckled.

"I'll try my best. Besides, if you hated it, you wouldn't be eating it right now!" He said, ruffling my hair playfully as I moved farther away from him.

"I never said I hated it, Mathias. And since you're capable of being able to sense what I like and what I hate, I'm guessing you already know how much I dislike you…"

He laughed once more, trying to keep quiet with my brother still sleeping, and his grin only grew wider. "If you hated me, Norge, you wouldn't have cried on my shoulder and fallen asleep on my lap last night!" Mathias joked, still chuckling.

That was right…The night before I had ended up crying myself to sleep in his arms as I dreamt of my parents…And he actually remembered it all…

My face grew hot and I turned away from him, continuing to eat as my eyes focused on the ground. A pebble lay in front of me, so small and lifeless. Its color lay a quartz white, and its markings acted as if it were smiling. That pebble had no life ahead of it; it would stay in that form for the rest of its life. Of course, though, it never even had a life in the first place…

A thick silence hung in the air, and as I would not speak, Mathias did for me. "That dream you had…it must have been awful. You were calling out to your mom…" He said, his tone hushed and gentle, and my face reddened at his words.

It _was_ awful…dreaming of my parents. Oh, how I loved and missed them; how I missed Kya and her family. Yet it was a miracle I was still with my little brother, and I had to be thankful for that.

"…I dreamt of the day after my parents died…my brother and I were going to be separated. But then my neighbor was able to get her father to reason with them, and we were able to stay together under custody of their family. Although, they did never find out that we still lived on our own in our own home…" I told him, my back still facing him with my voice soft and bitter, and a pause set in.

"…Who's 'they'?"

I sighed. "The social services workers…I was barely even a teenager when it happened, so they figured since we were both minors that they'd just…throw us away like every other family in a situation like that…"

It wasn't hidden that I hated talking about my family around the Dane. And I most certainly didn't want to cry. Yet my constant sighing was what held it all back, and I had to wonder when I had become this emotional with the situation.

"Damn…I've had my share of experiences like that…" Mathias started, yet he seemed much more calm and joking about it. "When I ran away, they went after me, too. Tried to take me away. I wouldn't let them, though, and I did get away, so now I figure they just got bored and eventually stopped searching in the first place. Probably figured I was dead."

I didn't respond to that; I had nothing more to say. With the last of my breakfast swallowed, silence lingered around us, an awkward one at that, and Mathias was once again the one to speak up. "Hey, I've got an idea."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow, and his smile brought even more questions to my mind. "Yeah?"

"I've been out here for two years, and it's defiantly rare to actually find a place for it, but what do you say we sneak into one of the schools a few blocks down and get warmed up, you know. The showers there are almost never used!"

My eyes went wide at that, and I drew closer to him in shock to whisper in his ear. We never knew if Emil was listening or not. "Are you crazy? We'll get caught for sure! And what about my brother, what are we going to do about him?" I hissed, glancing back at Emil who was still asleep.

"Come on, Norge, it's freezing out here! Besides, we'll sneak in after it's all cleared out. The gym coach _never _locks the door!"

"Are you an idiot? There are janitors there, asshole, if we go they're going to know we sneaked in!"

"Quit being paranoid, nothing's going to happen."

"I'm being _realistic_, Mathias! It could be my old school; teachers are always lurking there after hours!" I snapped, whispering sternly before letting out a sigh. "Look, if we're going to do this, we have to find another solution. Do you…know anybody that would let us use theirs?"

Mathias shrugged "Elizabeta; but her family is over for the holidays coming up, so that wouldn't work. Plus her neighbor is crazy…_really _crazy. He doesn't like me very much, either…or her boyfriend…" He thought for a moment, sighing, before his face immediately lit up again to its usual upbeat self. "What if we smash the ice and go swimming in the river? That could actually be fun! Cold, but fun!"

I sighed. "Mathias, we're in _Norway_; it's freezing cold outside so there's no way we'll be able to even go out there without a coat on and not frostbitten. Maybe we should just…I don't know, stay here and rest. I don't want Emil's condition getting any worse than it is." I told him, a hint of sarcasm lurking in my voice, yet what I had said about Emil was true. My worry for him was only growing stronger and stronger as days passed and nights grew colder, and soon enough I knew I'd be living completely alone again.

_Stop thinking so harshly, Lukas; he's not going to die! He's not going to die! _I thought, reassuring myself that my brother would indeed be ok. Although, as optimistic of an outlook as it was, I still lay wary and had but small doubts…

Just then, a groan came from behind me, and both Mathias and I turned to watch Emil as he slowly stretched his arms and let out a faint cough.

"Brother…" He murmured, yawning as groggy eyes were rubbed, and he stared at me with weariness and apathy hidden in his expression.

"How are you feeling, Emil?" I asked, voice monotone, yet I managed to crack just the slightest smile for the sake of my brother.

The child groaned once more, shaking his head as he coughed, and attempted to stand up only to plop right back down onto the pillow he'd been sleeping on. "Icky…"

I sighed, shooting a worried glance over at Mathias, and he nonetheless gave me a reassuring nod with a sympathetic grin making its way onto his chilled mug. He whispered to me that all would be well, and just the mere thought of anything tragic ever happening to Emil made my stomach churn nervously and my mind go wild horrifying outlooks.

I turned but to Emil, patting him on the head softly as he clutched onto his blanket, and I covered another one of thick wool and cotton over the child to keep him warm.

"The medicine will do its job soon enough, Emil, but for now you should just relax for the rest of the day. It'll help calm your body much more than it would if you were running around in the snow and cold." I said, stroking silvery locks as he groaned and nodded, and a thick silence hung in the surround air for a moment.

Mathias spoke up. "That's right; getting a lot of rest is the best way you'll be able to get better, kid. Heh, I learned that the hard way…"

'_I learned that the hard way_'…what could he have meant by that? Yet that thought was the least of my worries at the moment, as I continued to lay perched next to Emil's side, not speaking, but only comforting and soothing him as he drifted off to sleep again. The Dane said nothing as well, as we never knew when the child was really truly asleep. But Emil was indeed a deep sleeper, so after all Mathias and I had said and spoken the days before had to have been a hazy blur to him with his mind still developing slowly and sleep being his main priority.

"Hey, Lukas, wanna have a little fun?" Mathias finally said, a devious smirk creeping across his face as his eyebrows lay raised.

I turned my focus on him, raising an eyebrow with my expression placid yet apathetic, and I spoke. "If it involves stealing, using me as a pawn, or you being a pervert towards me, then absolutely not…"

The Dane chuckled a bit, shaking his head with his smirk still strong. "Nah, it doesn't have anything to do with those. But I was thinking-."

"It's hard to believe anything goes through your mind at all…"

He shot a quick glare towards me at that, but nonetheless continued. "I was thinking, and I realized there's a different way we can get all clean and stuff without having to go anywhere!"

"I swear if you make me strip…"

"I told you, Norge, I'm not going to be a pervert today!" Mathias said, rolling his eyes playfully as his smirk grew and his eyes lay bright. "But the only way it'll work is if we actually step out of the cave. It wouldn't be very fun or comfortable in here…"

I cringed at that sentence, my nerves going wild at Mathias's many possibilities of sending me into despair, yet I nonetheless sighed and spoke to him with my arms crossed.

"I really don't like where this is going…"

"Like I said, Norge, it's not anything bad or anything! Come on, you need to loosen up a bit!" He paused. "What if I told you that if you didn't do it, then that would add to the hours of work you'll have afterwards~?"

"Fine…just get it over with…" I replied almost immediately after. I had to give in to that; it was impossible not to. In near subzero temperatures, the last thing any sane person would want to do was spend the entire day sitting on their ass in the snow doing the dirty work for some obnoxious idiot.

Mathias smiled, playful blush suddenly spreading across his cheeks, and I raised an eyebrow at that. He spoke no words; only led me outside, as if it were a silent cheering of accomplishment that went on in that little mind of his. I was confused; bewildered completely, I must say, as we stood just outside of the cave in glittering snow that surrounded us and the shrill cries of the winter howls.

"I'd seriously like to know what you're up to this time…" I said coldly, arms still crossed, and he continued to have his back turned to me, planning deviously. "Well, idiot, what did you want to show me?"

A pause; and then a sensation of frigid snow hitting my face and the tips of bangs completely.

"Think fast, Norge!" He cried, cackling wildly as the snowball slammed against my face. My teeth lay bared now, and I wiped the dripping, cold liquid from my face with my hand angrily, and I stomped towards the Dane with irritation rising and the urge to kill growing even stronger.

"What the hell, Mathias; _this _is your idea of cleansing? You're such a child!" I yelled, and tone of apathy still held in my voice as it was involuntary and could never disappear, yet I continued to chase after him as he stumbled away, laughing. What was I doing, participating in his foolish games? It was hard to believe the runaway was even seventeen; his maturity level was most certainly that of a child's! Lukas Bondevik was never one to participate is childish games like this. Yet Lukas Bondevik was also one to beat the hell out of a certain obnoxious Dane if he were to ever send his annoyance level flying. I never realized just how short of a fuse I had until I met the teen...

Mathias continued to toss snow back at me, a wave of wet power acting as a screen as he trotted away in satisfaction, and with me chasing after him, I did the same and hurled a chunky ball of snow directly to the messy blonde locks that rested on his head. This didn't stop the Dane, though; nothing ever would, as he only continued to run away from me, screaming and laughing madly at the apparent hilarity of my despair.

_This is the third day I've been with this guy…and he's already using me for his fun and games…_

"You're so slow, Norge; you'll be completely clean by the time you actually catch up!" He yelled back at me, mockingly, and I only grew angrier at his words as a sudden burst of adrenaline hit me as twisted emotions took over.

"You're an ass, you know that!" I yelled back, throwing another snowball at the Dane as he chuckled, only to have it actually hit his back dead-on, then watch as he stumbled to the ground in defeat and I followed in synch with him to the ground. Before, I knew it though, I was on top of him, bashing his head into the ground as I released my rage, yet Mathias wasn't one to give up easily, and fought just as hard in return. We slipped across the snow, rolling furiously in it as I clutched onto and strangled his trench coat, yet he was still laughing. Almost in tears, it seemed, as cold liquid streaked down his face, and the Dane threw me back-first into the snow with every last bit of strength he could muster with the rowdy laughter still going on. It was times like these I so badly wanted to damn how physically weak I was…

My panting had grown heavy as he pinned both of my hands to the ground so I could not move, and a fierce amount of heat crept across my face as that taunting smirk returned as his mocking expression was brought up again.

"I hope that's a good enough cleaning for you." He sang, leaning in closer until our noses were dangerously close to touching. I didn't like this feeling…it was obscenely uncomfortable. Then again, what else would there be in a situation like this? Fear? Hatred? Possibly even a little bit of both? Yet I couldn't yet bear this sequence of his antics, and I had absolutely no idea how I'd ever be able to put up with it until winter's passing.

"You're an idiot…" was the only response I could muster, and my tone stayed calm and apathetic although I wanted so badly to rid of the awkwardness in the back of my mind.

His smirk only grew even more devilish. "You've got chores to do today~."

"You stated that earlier. Now would you please get off of me so I can check on Emil?"

"No."

_No. _It was a word that haunted me so badly coming from Mathias's mouth. My eyes widened at his words, blush only growing stronger, and by that time the Dane was already grinning ear-to-ear and had our noses touching without a single thing I could do to stop him.

"No?" I repeated.

"Exactly; no. You've got a short temper, and you're easy to torment. I want to see how far you can go for future reference."

I cringed. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean? We're only staying with you until the end of March; you make it seem like we'll be living with you until 2011 arrives." I managed to hold a steady tone, but God only knew just how nervous and irritated I was growing as grueling seconds passed by.

"Meh, you may only stay until the end of March, but there could be chance you'd, well, you know…" He paused, leaning forward until his lips had brushed my ear, and his hot breath caused me to flinch as it tingled down my sensitive spine. "fall in love with me…"

"You seem pretty sure of yourself about that, don't you?" I said, the thought echoing through my mind like a lost tunnel, and the outcome of it all was all too horrifying to even think about. An entire year…with Mathias…I couldn't bear it…

Mathias's smile grew wider, and he finally put some distance between our faces, yet I nonetheless felt even more uncomfortable as he spoke. "I'm absolutely sure of myself."

"It won't happen…you already know that I've got my heart set on somebody else. So your constant flirting and antics like these won't do much to convince me otherwise."

The Dane paused for a moment, thinking, yet it didn't take much for his smile to return, and the rapid beating of my heart sped up immensely as I could only imagine the countless possibilities of humiliation he had planned in store for me. I could tell just from his expression he could feel that rapid beating against his chest, and embarrassment flooded my cheeks as I knew he'd bring it up again sooner or later.

"Norge…what would you do…if I kissed you. Right now, when nobody's watching, and you can't do anything about it?" He asked playfully, and although I felt the need to kill him right there, I continued to hold a calm façade.

"I'd probably punch you in the face…"

"But what if I did it anyway?"

"Then still, I'd punch you in the face. Harder. And possibly throw you off a cliff in the middle of the night where you'll be free-falling and dangling for dear life onto a tree branch and I won't be there to save you."

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"Absolutely not."

He seemed a bit taken aback at that comment, his eyebrows raised now as his expression turned to surprise and frustration, something I had never seen from Mathias.

"I…" He was stalling, stuttering actually, and the flamboyant nature in the runaway had suddenly toned down to something far more different. Something almost…shy, it seemed? Hadn't he already kissed me before without a single problem or hesitation?

As that thought began to process, though, I found him slowly leaning in, and by that time I had begun to panic. My senses had turned from me, and now I was alone, unable to control these babbling emotions that were going wild throughout my mind as his nose slipped past mine and I could feel his the warm scent of butter and cinnamon lingering in his breath as it grazed across my lips.

Just before we could touch, though, I finally caught the words hanging in the back of my tongue, and I spoke up almost immediately. "I'm not afraid of you, Mathias…"

Mathias stopped, his eyes snapping open, and he stared at me with alarmed blue eyes as his mouth lay slightly open.

"Wha…what did you say?" He asked me, whispering just as I did, and I repeated myself.

"I'm not afraid of you…No matter what you do, I won't give in to your tormenting. My main priority is to survive the winter and protect my brother, not have to worry about what you have planned in store for me next. It's blindingly obvious you have a crush on me. Even I admit that." I hadn't even processed that sentence before everything had just all spilled out of my mouth in one big river of words. It was hard to believe I had even said it at all; I never even wanted to think about it in the first place! The idea of Mathias's obvious preference for me defiantly wasn't in my favor, yet there was a part of me that didn't mind it either. The part of me that had lied to him the night before…and although I knew just how desperately in love I was with Kya, I couldn't hide the fact that I wasn't completely what I had said to be…

Mathias, on the other hand, suddenly seemed extremely taken aback, as if I had just unexpectedly stabbed him in the back and he has fallen to his death as blood stained pure white snow. A fair amount of scarlet was now staining his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and no words were said between the both of us. In fact, both of us were so shocked from my comment there was no way either of us could even muster the courage to say anything! Or at least me, in that case.

"You…should probably be getting to your chores now, Lukas. I have a few errands to run…and there are several dishes and clothes that need to be cleaned. I'll just…be going now…" With that, he released me, getting to his feet as I continued to stay on the ground, and the Dane walked into the cave and slung a worn-out sack over his shoulder. "I won't be long…make sure Emil gets lots of rest…" And with that, he retreated across the morning horizon.

Frankly, I couldn't move; I was still in awe. For that was the time I had ever seen anything like that from Mathias: _fear_.

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><p><strong>…You people honestly have no idea how tired I was typing up this chapter…that is the last time I ever stay up until 4:30 in the morning typing up a chapter…<strong>

**Sorry for the long wait, I was on writer's block for most every day these past couple of weeks. But WOW there's a lot more fanservice in this chapter than I thought there would be! XD Obviously, there's a lot more to come, but you'll just have to see what happens next when chapter 11 comes out! Originally, this chapter was going to be something COMPLETELY different, but judging from the poll I put out on deviantART, most of my readers on there wanted it to turn out how it did. But, I'm very fond of the fluffiness, actually!**

**Hopefully I'll have chapter 11 out soon, but it all varies depending on how busy I'll be these next few months since school just started up again two weeks ago. Reviews are always welcome, and they also boost up my inspiration by a lot! I love every last one of them very much, so please do so if you have the time! ^^**


	11. Chapter 11: Sleeping Beauty

Wow, I just realized I've been on FF for almost a year now! Although I didn't even start writing Hetalia until March or April, it's amazing to think I've had followers who have stuck with me this long. So thank you all for that! ^^ Anyway, I was reading the earlier chapters today, and I realized I either changed or left out a LOT of stuff. So, I'll to bring each of those things up again so I don't forget completely! Plus, as an FYI, the story itself takes place two years after the death of Lukas and Emil's parents, so it's taking place at the end of 2010. Sorry for the confusion about that. ^^; Thanks for all the great feedback, and enjoy and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p>It was mid-day by the time I'd finally finished the work Mathias had ordered me to do, and although it wasn't nearly as much as the first tasks he'd given me, every feeling and vein running through my body and been frozen solid, and all I could even manage to feel was an intense numbness that shot up from my toes to the tip of my skull. I stayed fairly close to the cave with Emil still resting contently, and went back to check on him every once in a while, yet this added to my chores, and it was a risk I'd been willing to take in near subzero temperatures. Emil's life was far more important than my own.<p>

I arrived back at the cave just as the sun came peaking through the tips of the Norwegian mountains surrounding us, exhausted. Emil was still curled up in the corner of the cave, letting out an occasional faint cough, and shuffling my feet towards the child I plopped down next to him, pulling up a pillow to rest my head on. After being isolated in my home for two years, I wasn't used to working in conditions such as these, as both my brother and I had kept our home well-cleaned.

Yet I worried not about my own exhaustion and needs, but more about Mathias's sudden change of expression the hours before. Fear…it was rare to ever see such a sight coming from the usually cheerful Dane, and although I had only known him for three days, I already knew this well. That was the first time I had ever seen him blush so nervously as well; was admitting such a thing such an obscene thing to do? Honestly, I didn't understand the Dane's feelings all that well, yet there was something about him that intrigued me with such strange personality changes all of a sudden, and I just couldn't figure out the why it made eyebrows raise. His statement wasn't true…it would never be true…

…And why did I care so damn much about it?

_Somehow, he'll figure things out along the way…I can't see how he hasn't mentioned it. After all, I did date Berwald for a year; it's not too hard to see through. _I thought, sighing as I remembered my lie the night before. I didn't know why it was bothering me so much. _Even so, the idiot is out of my case. To actually have to stand a day with such an obnoxious fool is enough, even worse so an entire lifetime…I will never love Mathias. That's final._

I sighed once more, not wanting to disturb Emil as he was sleeping so contently, yet I was still concerned about the gash on his arm. I'd completely forgotten about it after we'd run into Mathias, and although it didn't look like it was bothering him too much anymore, the maroon color that stained the fabric covering it sent a wave of chills running down my spine. And then there was the burn on my arm, too, yet the scar had healed nicely in such a short time, as the mark couldn't have been more than a one-degree burn despite the fire's raging temperatures.

Nonetheless, though, my mind returned to Mathias, and I mentally slapped myself at its conditions and antagonizing. His breath still lingered on my lips, and I could still taste the smell of the cinnamon and butter that brushed against my nostrils. What would have happened if he had actually done it…what would happen to the both of us if it had actually happened? I denied his statement of love complete, although it haunted me, as if there was only a string of thread holding every last bit of dignity in me as I desperate tried to get out of his reach. The Dane was annoying, yet kind…so why did I hate him so much?

_Stop it, Lukas! This isn't like you; you're not supposed to struggling over such a silly thing! Remember Kya…remember your devotion to her. Mathias is a fool…love isn't worth chasing after if it's already out of reach…_ I thought, feeling my cheeks go warm as I buried my face in the pillow, smelling Mathias's musky scent on it, and I immediately tossed it towards the entrance of the cave. _He can chase all he wants, but never give in….Never._

The absolute irony in the motivation struck me, and I grumbled under my breath at its taunting. Letting the Dane fail miserably in earning me as a prize was a cruel thought…yet then again, I wasn't the kindest person either.

I looked back down at Emil, smiling faintly as I watched his chest rise and fall steadily, and his lips curled in to soft smile. I lied down next to him, stroking his hair softly before my eyes closed shut and I drifted off to sleep as well.

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><p>I couldn't tell if it was a dream, but half asleep or not, I knew at one point I heard Mathias's voice creep into the cave. I dared not open my eyes, as this was finally a time of peace and tranquility for me with him being quiet for once to avoid disturbing both me and Emil.<p>

"Norge, I'm back!" He said cheerfully, strutting into the cave with a bag swishing back and forth, and although I could not see him, I knew upon seeing me asleep his expression had immediately changed. "Aww, now look at that. Two brothers fast asleep next to each other…If only I had a brother. My sister wasn't much of a tomboy…"

_Sister…?_ I thought, trying to stay as still as possible with him obviously thinking I was in a deep sleep, yet my thoughts had suddenly began to spin. _He never told me he had a sister…_

I could sense the Dane walking closer to me, setting down the bag somewhere by the edge of the cave, and before I knew it he was standing over me, and through the slightly slits of open eyes I could see him staring at me so lovingly. "Look at him…I've never seen Lukas so calm and peaceful; he's normally so uptight! If only he would stay like this forever…"

At that, I wanted to punch him square in the mouth, yet I continued to stay still as Mathias still thought I was asleep, and I wiggled my nose around a bit.

_Just stay quiet, Lukas; we could probably get some information out of him if you don't speak so that he'll be a little easier to comprehend…_

"Lukas…Lukas…he looks so cute like that! Maybe if…I played out the events earlier, then he could finally learn to lighten up at bit!" He said quietly, now sitting down next to me, and an uncomfortable feeling suddenly set it.

At his words, I was desperately close to jolting up and smacking him in the face, wanting so badly to tell him to not even _dare _do such a thing. But, I said no words, not even knowing what his next move was, yet I had a strong feeling it had to do with something along the lines of scaring the hell out of me.

Through the slits of my eyes, I watched as his eyes darted from side to side, and he smiled. But was that…blush, on his face? "What he won't know won't hurt him."

_Oh God, ok…Lukas…don't panic…Just whatever you do, don't wake up. If you wake up, you'll never get the end of it from him about his "embarrassment", and whatever is coming next has to be better than getting ranted to by the Dane; even if that means getting a bucket of snow dumped on you! No matter how hard he may have fallen for you already, there's no way you can risk getting kicked out on the streets again with Emil, and have to set off for a new town to take shelter in!_

Just then, everything seemed to happen in slow motion; not even I could process what was happening by the time it already was! A sudden jolt of electricity ran rapidly up through my body, and not even in a fraction of a second, I already found my face stained madly with hot blush. There, in the dead silence of the afternoon, with the faint smell of dying smoke from the fire being the only thing that took me away from the situation, I found a large pair of lips placed firmly on mine, and from the moment it happened I already knew exactly who they belonged to.

Mathias, and before I could even argue it, had kissed me…full on, lip to lip, nothing more. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to take it back.

It was the last straw before I'd had enough of trying to hold back, and my eyes immediately shot open as I found him much closer than I'd ever want him to be. The Dane's eyes opened as well, and upon seeing my completely dumbstruck expression, he immediately pulled away, face stained red, and both of us were blushing ear-to-ear. We only looked at each other, staring in awe for a long, long time, eyes wide in complete shock and breaths shaky.

Mathias was the first to speak up. "Oh God, I…y-you…I-I'm so sorry!" He said, jumping up as he stepped back and tripped over his own two feet, the smile on his face completely washed away with embarrassment, and he turned away to hid his flushed mug. "D-Don't take it personally, Lukas! I-I mean…I'm so sorry, I thought you were asleep, a-and it turns out you felt it and…I'm just so sorry!" Mathias managed to stutter out, tripping and faltering over his words.

"I…" was the only thing I was capable of saying. I wasn't angry, nor was I annoyed; I was completely and utterly confused and shock. Not about why he did it, but why it was making me so nervous and jumpy all of a sudden. This feeling…this feeling of electricity…it wasn't something I was used to. I figured it probably would have been a good idea to tell the guy your living with, who happens to have a crush on you (even though I didn't know exactly how strong it was…), that even after dating Berwald, I had never actually had my first kiss…a real one, at that. Like the one Mathias had just demonstrated…

"I-I'm just going to go…walk around for a bit. You just…s-stay here, ok! I'll be back…whenever…" And with that, he had already retreated into the forest, stumbling over the snow as he sprinted away, swearing mindlessly under his breath.

I pressed my fingers to my lips, still feeling the immense amount of tension and nervousness that rested on Mathias's, and now it was my turn to be utterly embarrassed. His lips were soft; I admitted that, like velvety satin that ran through my fingertips, only deeper. And I just couldn't stop…thinking about them…with my mind going wild and every other thought before that suddenly stopping to take a spit-take.

Through eyes the color of the blue Copenhagen sky, I still couldn't figure Mathias out. Yet all I knew at the moment was now I had to figure things out for myself…

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><p>Mathias and I didn't dare look each other in the eye as the day grew short and night set in. We ate dinner in silence, Emil as well, as he could obviously see the extreme amount of awkward tension hanging between us. At one point, he asked both of us "why aren't you two speaking to each other?", yet neither of us would reply, only looked away in embarrassment with flushed faces and averting eyes. The night lay cold, as we slept on separate sides of the cave this time, and in slight ear-shot I could hear Mathias mumbling softly under his breath, yet I couldn't make out his words. The howl of a stray dog rang through the air, and peaking through the trees lay the bright city lights of Olso.<p>

I didn't sleep well that night; I'd stayed asleep just staring at those lights until I could keep my eyes open no more. There were times when I missed Olso; my own home just outside of the city. At times I wanted to go back, just to see the aftermath as by the time Emil and I had fled the house was still in flames, yet on other occasions just the mere thought of it haunted me forever. By now, the lively buzz of the city had finally died down with the early hours of the morning taking over, and a peaceful silence blanketed us. Snowy pine trees glistened in the moonlight, and a glob of their pure substances plopped down to join the growing pile from under it.

I sighed, staring at that pile, thinking how strange it was for both Emil and I to end up in such a place I never even believed we'd manage to survive in. If Mathias had never mugged us, we probably would have still been walking by now with our bellies longing for food! Yet despite the temperatures, we had made it, and although I would never admit it I had to be thankful for that. Not for the Dane in general, but for his hospitality…his subtle kindness…

"Norge, go to sleep…" He mumbled, tossing a pillow at me as it missed, and I shot a quick glare at him although he could not see it. The runaway was sprawled across the cave, snoring lightly as his sleep had to have been deep, and I wondered what he was dreaming about. For once, the Dane was actually on my mind without me even trying to push him away..and it was a ninety-five percent chance I was on his as well.

What had that kiss brought me too…?

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><p>"Norge…you've got chores today…"<p>

My head immediately shot up at that voice, and I turned to Mathias to see him walking straightforward, eyes never leaving sight of the trees in front of him. Without words, we'd decided to take another trip down to the river to collect water and in my case wash any dirty clothing. It was Emil's idea actually, as he had been constantly pulling on my pants leg in an attempt to take him down to play there, and I agreed as the temperature was finally warming up a bit. Nine degrees Celsius…it wasn't half bad.

"I know…" I mumbled, averting my eyes to the ground with Emil clutching onto my hand for safety. Mathias seemed neither angry nor fearful, but rather mortified with embarrassment it seemed, as a hint of scarlet tinged his cheeks as it just wouldn't go away. I was in the same situation as well, though, and the heat of the blush was literally stained to my face it seemed.

Things had still continued to stay awkward between us; we rarely interacted, and Emil hadn't said a word about it as the tension in the atmosphere has apparently caught on to him. It was ironic, the fact that Mathias's quietness disturbed me so much, as I'd normally be in a fit of rage if he were ranting again! Yet this time, it was just…awkward…and neither of us could barely even muster the courage to speak to each other. And I had to wonder, even though our situation was the same physically, was it the same personally?

_We could be on the same level…_ I thought, glancing up at his solid expression. _I doubt it, though. As flamboyant as he is, we're polar opposites…_

"You're staring off into space again…" The Dane said quietly, and I turned to him quickly to see his expression hadn't changed.

"I'm thinking…" I told him simply, turning away as I sped up ahead, and released Emil from my grip as the river approached. "Just tell me what you need me to do for today and-"

"Lukas."

It was sudden, and I never saw a single move of his coming. Before I knew it, I'd been pinned against the trunk of an oak tree by Mathias's strong grip, and it looked as if he were death glaring me as cobalt eyes had turned into a fit of fiery blue. Pink tinged my cheeks, and a sudden jolt of fear took over, as I had never seen the runaway so hostile before. What was he going to do; harm me, kiss me yet again? I doubted it, as my brother was still with us, although I still had my worries. Yet upon seeing my expression, his eyes turned soft again, and he sighed. "We need to talk…"

I stuttered a bit, thinking, before letting out an involuntary snarky remark. "So, what if we do?"

"'So what if we do' nothing, asshole. If we keep this up things are still going to be increasingly awkward, so it's best say what we want to say now instead of waiting. If we're going to be living together, the worst thing we can do is lie to each other."

His voice held a harsh tone, and I was a little taken aback from it. After all, almost the only tone I'd ever heard from him was that obnoxious, cunning voice in that irking Danish accent of his!

But nonetheless, I sighed. He was right for once; after all if, we kept holding back neither of us would get our points across, and it would end up being a very uptight winter. Besides, with him being in the state he was now, if I refused there was no doubt he'd kick Emil and I to the streets.

That's when I realized that was the second time that thought had occurred…

_No Lukas…he wouldn't do something like that. It's _Mathias_ we're talking about here, and even if he did he'd come back within a short amount of time. It's happened before…at the market…_

I couldn't tell if I had given in to his intimidation or if it was because of the ongoing paranoia and fear the swirled around my thoughts, yet what was said was said, and there was no getting out of it now.

"You're right…but let's make it quick. I don't want Emil staying out here too long when it's cold like this, and as you said you apparently have some new tasks for me. Now if you would, please release me."

That was the most composed I could put it, despite the nervous breakdown going on in my body. Mathias did as told, and took his hand away from the tree, turning towards the hill resting just above the ring of trees surrounding our archery range.

"I think that looks like a good spot. Emil can play the bottom of the hill so that there's no disturbance. Don't worry, he'll be in sight."

With that, the Dane started towards the hill, and I stayed back reluctantly, calling for my brother as he waddled through the snow and hugged my knees. Mr. Puffin was secured tightly in his right hand, and I crouched down to his level as I met innocent eyes and a smile on his face.

"Emil, stay down here, ok? Mathias and I need to talk about something privately for a little while and I don't want you running off." I told him gently, and he nodded.

"But why can't I listen to?" He asked, curiosity and worry hiding behind violet eyes, and I sighed.

"You're too young to understand, brother. Just play down here for a while and I promise we'll go back to the cave where it's nice and warm. I'll make us some soup, and then we can prepare for the next day."

The child thought for a moment, but nonetheless nodded lightly, and I ruffled his hair before he jumped into the snow. I turned to find Mathias's silhouette sitting at the top of the hill, and sighing, I began making my way towards him as I prepared myself for a fairly uncomfortable conversation.

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><p>"You seem out of it…I know there's something wrong…" Mathias told me, head facing straight ahead, yet his eyes lay averted to the ground as he fiddled with the snow surrounding us. "I'm concerned about you…"<p>

"You of all people would be the first…" I mumbled, holding an apathetic tone, and I hugged my knees tightly as I watched my brother jump off the rocks he'd been sitting on. He played happily at the bottom where I could see him, giggling wildly as he stumbled into the snow. Mathias and I, on the other hand, had not interacted much since we sat upon the hill, simply crumbling the snow around us awkwardly as neither I nor he wanted to reply to the other.

The Dane stayed quiet for a moment, a faint smile making its way onto his face, yet it was not fake. It seemed sincere, as if what we were about to say meant he was being completely serious. Light pink sprinkled across his cheeks, yet he ignored it, and continued to look towards the ground.

"Ok, I admit it…I do have a bit of a crush on you. It's not my problem, though; you can blame fate for that one. Heh, it's funny how things like that work out…" He said, and I could only stare at him at that. Not because he had just admitted something like that to me, but because…well, I didn't even know why.

I shifted my eyes to the ground again, drawing scribbles and swirls in the snow with my finger, and I spoke. "Is that why you kissed me?"

"Huh?"

"Is that why you kissed me, Mathias?"

From the corner of my eye, I could see he was facing me now, eyes alert and cheeks still holding their rosy color, and he shook his head. "Surprisingly, that's not the reason at all…"

I snorted. "Then what's the reason; you just felt like it?"

The Dane sighed. "I…I don't know why I did it. Something just overcame me, and you looked so peaceful while you were sleeping like that, and…I just felt like it was necessary…" He smiled, going back to playing with the snow, and I sighed as well.

In retrospect, I knew I should have seen something like that coming. It would have been smart to tell him of my romantic past and how little experience I had, yet I hadn't even put any thought into it until after it happened. I knew of his feelings, and I knew he had tried to lock lips with me several times before. So why did I still not return the feelings?

"You were my first kiss…" I managed to mumble out, speaking in nearly a whisper as I wanted so badly for him not to hear me. It wasn't like I wanted so desperately to tell him; I felt it needed to be said before he tried again. And only God knew how reluctant I was with Mathias's actions. Yet sitting next to me, the Dane's ears were sharp, and he had caught just about every word that had fallen from my mouth.

"Really?" He asked, an expression of surprise and apology suddenly taking form to his face, and he continued to stay turned to me. "I…I had no idea…"

"I could really care less…I'm not one to even care about love in the first place…" I told him, still looking towards the ground. "If it wasn't for Berwald, I probably would have never had a first relationship…"

Mathias's head immediately shot up. "Wait, Berwald…as in Berwald Oxenstierna?" He said, in a sudden shock of surprise, and I turned to him only to see his mouth hanging open loosely and blue eyes slowly widening.

I cocked and eyebrow. "How do you know Berwald?" I asked him, and he only laughed.

"Man, I haven't heard that bastard's name in years! We went to school together when he moved from Sweden to Denmark, and man were we always fighting! The teachers would always get pissed at us when we'd break out into a fight after school over which country was the most superior during the Kalmar Union, and this poor little Finnish kid named Tino was always the one who had to break up the fights." He sighed, chuckling lightly to himself at the memory. "I'll never forget the day he moved to Norway. Tino was at the bus stop bawling his eyes out while he waved goodbye. I can't believe you actually knew him…"

I stayed quiet for a moment at that, not knowing exactly how to respond. After hearing of their rivalry, Mathias could automatically turn angry or become too defensive, yet I remembered what I had said earlier, and all things held back were finally spilled.

"We dated for a year…when I was in eighth and ninth grade…It figures he never really cared; that guy has a stone for an expression. It's even worse than mine…" I told him, cringing at the memory of his faceless expression the day I told him of my parents' deaths. He just stood there…glaring…and that's when it occurred to me the damned Swede never did care whatever the hell happened to me. I remember when he would speak of the Finnish boy Mathias had mentioned, Tino, and would immediately fall into countless thoughts about him. He only wanted Tino…and that's when I realized it was Kya who was the only real person I could trust, with her sitting by my side most of the night as we told stories of our past and gazed at the stars of the Norwegian night.

Mathias's face fell, pitied now, and he slowly turned away without saying a word. There wasn't much to say, actually, as we had gotten completely off topic of the kiss, and I figured both he and I were not too well prepared to talk about such an event after having admitted so many things to each other.

"I told you he was a bastard…" He mumbled, yet it sounded as if it were a whisper instead of irritation. He wasn't defensive, nor was he angry, and I was not either. The Dane was right, though. Berwald had brought down my spirits, yet Kya had lifted my optimism again. Just the sound of his name made me cringe…

I sighed, finding Mathias staring mindlessly at my right hand, and I did not turn to look at him. "What's that scar on your hand, Norge?"

I lifted my hand, moving it around a bit to look at the scar from different angles, it's faded red color finally looked like it was healing nicely as the stinging had erased almost completely.

"It's from when Emil and my house burned down. I was trying to open my bedroom door, and it burned my hand. It's not as bad as it was, though; Emil's condition when we were trying to escape was much worse. He hit his arm on one of our end tables, and it started bleeding really badly." I explained, remembering the fear in my brother's eyes when he had noticed the gash.

_"Lukas…m-my arm is bleeding!"_

Emil wasn't the same after the night; he never would be…

Mathias took my hand, inspecting the scar himself, and I let him. After what had happened earlier, it wasn't like he was going to do anything drastic; I knew that for a fact as there was still an uncomfortable tension hanging between us. Instead of setting it down, or kissing it, licking it, or anything else of his usual antics to annoy me, he instead ripped a piece of loose cloth from his trench coat and tied his securely around my hand, smiling afterwards at my bewildered expression.

Light blush brushed against my cheeks at his action, and I looked down once more at my newly-bandaged hand. "My hand is fine, Mathias; it doesn't hurt that bad. You don't need to go out of your way to protect me all the time…" I said, averting my eyes away from him and back to Emil, watching as he twirled around in a circle with Mr. Puffin and tossed him in the air as his giggles rang through it.

The Dane continued to grin. "I don't care; I still want to help you. As your host I-"

"You'll make sure we're happy. We went through this last night, remember?" I cut him off, mocking his voice from the night before as he comforted me during my sudden breakdown.

He paused for a moment, then sighed, holding out his hand in front of me. "So, I guess it's final then. From now on, neither of us will speak of this again. Especially…you know…"

I turned to Mathias, nodding reluctantly as I looked his hand over, before locking mine with his as we both spoke in unison.

"Deal."

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><p><strong>Wow did this chapter turn out a lot different than I expected it to be! The "things Mathias hasn't quite figured out yet" that Lukas is referring to in the fourth paragraph and the beginning of the fourth break is the fact that he's bisexual, although Mathias hadn't known of it until he admitted having a past relationship with Berwald. Originally, I wasn't even going to mention it, but I have a friend who really likes SuNor, so I thought I'd include it to satisfy her. :) There's also a lot of jumping around in this chapter, and I apologize for that. I tried to make it as flowing as I possibly could. ^^<strong>

**All I can really say about the next chapter without giving away an spoilers is that it has a ridiculous amount of fanservice in it, so be prepared fangirls! Thanks again so much for the reviews and comments; I absolutely love hearing everything you all have to say about this fic! I always get so excited when I see an e-mail in my inbox saying somebody has favorited, reviewed, subscribed, etc. I'll try my best to make sure chapter 12 is out as quickly as this one was! :D**


	12. Chapter 12: It's Not So Cold

Finally, after being busy all week, here's chapter 12! Sorry for the wait; I got piled up with schoolwork and other stuff right after I started working on this, plus some of the second half got deleted at one point when my laptop shut down out of nowhere, so I had to redo those parts. I think this chapter is one of the only chapters where Mathias, Lukas, and Emil will only stay in one setting, but there's also a lot of new information being put into it, and some of it is extremely important to remember. Oh well, I've been anticipating to write this chapter since the beginning, and now it's finally here! Thanks for the all the feedback, and enjoy and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p>"Damn it~; you can't see hardly anything out there! How the hell are we supposed to go anywhere now?" Mathias yelled, pacing in frustration towards me, and I could only sigh at his idiocy.<p>

"Mathias, it's a blizzard; it's not like it's foreign occurrence here in Norway. I guess we're just going to have to stay here for the day and find something else to do." I told him, wrapping myself up tightly in a blanket as the frigid winds had leaked into the cave through Mathias's barrier of rock and blankets, and Emil lay curled up next to my side as he rested.

The Dane was right; there was virtually no sight of any trees, or anything for that matter through the blur of white, and the howl of the icy wind pounded against our walls. We hadn't had such a blizzard since the week before the fourteenth! Truth be told it was absolutely freezing, yet none of us really cared at the moment as our desire was not only to keep ourselves warm through the blizzard's passing, but also to find a way to entertain ourselves.

Although, as much as he wanted entertainment, there was yet another thing I was worrying about, and a foolish one at that. There was no doubt that Mathias was on my mind; even I didn't deny that. Throughout the night he had stayed on my mind, and for once I wanted so badly to sleep in his embrace, although we had slept on separate sides of the cave once again to prevent anymore awkward situations from happening. I almost regretted falling asleep without him there two days before, as I wanted for none of it happen, for my mind was spinning wildly with fantasies and thoughts that even I couldn't quite figure out.

Except, the Dane was completely oblivious to my thoughts, as he had no idea just what his little "idea" had made me come to. I was going mad; and although we had agreed never to speak of not only the kiss but the conversation as well, I'd never admit to his face just how badly it was killing me.

I sat there hugging my knees, sighing as I stared mindlessly into the fire, watching as the inferno swirled with hot colors and it held every bit of my past since I had arrived. I replayed those memories over and over again in my mind, of the fire, our escape, and every last bit of mine and my brother's long journey that had brought us to this idiot's "home". I kept telling myself I didn't want to be here…its conditions were much less than I'd ever want them to be to help save Emil. But at the moment, and as awkward as things were at the moment between Mathias and I, it felt…content. I almost…wanted…to stay with him…

_What am I saying; get a hold of yourself, Lukas!_

In perfect silence, I stayed composed, yet on the inside I was mentally slapping myself in the face. But the slapping had stopped just as Mathias had decided to sit next to me, slinging and arm around my shoulder as he sighed, and I pushed him away. Damn…just looking at his face had already caused my ears and cheeks to turn hot scarlet, and there was no explanation behind why any of this was happening. Our feelings weren't mutual…I knew that. So why was I getting so uptight like this when I hated him?

The runaway raised an eyebrow as I turned away from him, obviously confused by my actions. "Norge, what's up with you today? You've been acting really weird ever since last night; you wouldn't even eat breakfast this morning! Now since we're going to be cooped up in this damned cave all day, that last thing we need is tension. You seem like a shy one…but either way, I want to know what's wrong…" He said, cracking a smile as he place a reassuring hand on my shoulder, and I moved even farther away at that. I didn't speak to him; there was no way I could even muster any words at the moment. The Dane was right about me moving through the day on an empty stomach, as I skipped breakfast, and the only explanation reasonable for it was although our living conditions meant meager rations of food, I just wasn't hungry…

Mathias scratched his head, seeing my reluctance as a challenge, and continued to egg me on until I'd finally had enough. "Come on Norge~, just tell me what's wrong…"

"Don't touch me, Mathias; I don't want your comfort!" I hissed, my words coming out much more hostile than I'd wanted them to, yet that was I said before I continued to look to the ground.

The Dane's eyebrows rose a bit at that, and he chuckled. "Wow, somebody's pissed off today! Well since you won't talk to me, I guess Emil is my next choice." He moved towards Emil, nudging him lightly. "Hey Emil, do you want to play a fun game with me?"

Emil rubbed his eyes, mumbling incomprehensible words under his breath, and he nodded as Mathias picked him up, much to his dismay as he squirmed to break free. "Good! Now have you played patty-cake? Most kids your age I know love that game!" He looked back at me, a mocking smirk on his face, and I glared. "Although, considering how boring your brother is, I'm sure you've never even heard of it."

He let out a light chuckle at that, and I only huffed, not even wanting to speak to the idiot in the first place. Yet as Mathias taught Emil of the game, and my brother curiously listened and followed in sync to his hand movements, I found my scowl slowly curling into a smile. Seeing them having so much fun…seeing Emil smiling and giggling so happily as if nothing had ever happened to us. Just the sight of that smile made me happy, no matter how cold and expressionless as I was, and it surprised me even more that my brother was actually getting along with Mathias.

_You know for an idiot…this guy's not half bad…_ I thought to myself, drifting off into Mathias's smile before snapping back into reality not two seconds later. _Wait, no! Stop thinking these thoughts, Lukas; it's going to be a long winter if he assumes you're in love with him! But…as much as I've denied it thus far…and even _I _don't believe it…am I really in love with Mathias? _The thought caused my face to heat up and I glanced back at the two as they laughed and cheered and I found myself falling into the Dane's eyes.

They were a nice shade of blue that they were, comparing to the clear sky that rested above us. There wasn't a day they weren't shining from his bright attitude, and only God knew how confused I was that they were even on my mind in the first place. This phase of denial was killing me…I needed something to bring me back to my senses! And to think such an imbecile could have brought me so…so…

"So Norge, ready to tell me what's up yet?" Mathias said, cutting off the thought as I immediately shook it from my mind, and he sat down next to me as he slung an arm around me just as before. This was far closer than I ever wanted to be with him at the moment, even further out of my comfort zone, and thus I moved away from him once more, only to be followed as he scooted towards me. "Come on; seriously, Lukas! You're freaking me out, why won't you talk to me?"

Just as that sentence had fallen from his mouth, the Dane immediately stopped, and his lips crept into a sly grin. "Wait, you're not falling for me now, are you Lukas~? Your face is awfully red right now~." He sang, growing dangerously close to my face as a twirled a strand of blonde hair through his fingers, and I slapped his hand away immediately.

"Why are you so persistent; if I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk!" I growled, yet he refused to listen and gained even closer to me. His breath felt light against my cheek, brushing ever-so slightly against heated skin with its feathery touch like smooth silk as it trickled down my spine and I yelped at the sudden chill.

"I'm persistent because you won't tell me what wrong. Just please Norge, I want to help you!"

"Did you ever think that I didn't want your help, Mathias?" I yelled suddenly, and Mathias immediately jumped back as his eyes went wide in shock at my sudden outburst. "I'm an independent person; I don't need the help from anybody like you! So please, will you just stop-"

"Lukas, look out!"

It happened so sudden, as I found Mathias's axe growing closer and closer to my head as it tumbled, to the ground, watching as its shiny blade of hidden blood and murder taunted me as it fell, and all I could do was stay frozen where I was as it was all happening so fast. Yet as screams of unwanted death and horror escaped my mouth, I found myself being dragged away by a strong embrace grasping onto my shoulders, desperately pulling me to safety as burly hands wrapped around my waist and a tuft of Mathias's wild hair intertwined with my own in a spiral of blonde. I let out a howl of pain as I felt the blade slice through my leg, sticky crimson leaking out from the wound, and although I wanted so badly to clog it with my hands I could not under the tight grip of Mathias.

I was lying on my back by then, staring directly into a pool of cobalt blue with mixed emotions bouncing all around them, and both the Dane and my breathing was brutally heavy as he lay on top of me with his hands still wrapped around my waist. His face was pale, sickly pale, as if he were about to faint just then, and I could tell the façade of scarlet baked onto my face was only hiding the sheet of white that lay behind it.

"Lukas…a-are you alright…?" were the only words that he could manage to speak, as his breathing had gone short and every breath and whisper was soft and hushed.

I nodded. "Yeah…"

"I…I have no idea in hell how that thing got knocked over in the first place…Oh my God I'm so glad you're ok…" Mathias lowered his head, shifting his hands to mine as he wrapped me in embrace, and I could only hug back as I was pinned onto the ground without a single thing I could do about with shock still running through my veins. "You could have been killed…"

"Mathias…it's not a big deal. It's just a little cut; we can fix it with some tissues and bandages. I'm fine, really." I told him nonchalantly, although every inch of my body had been frozen solid in fear, and it was only the immense amount of adrenaline running through me that could ever possibly melt it.

Mathias shook his head, looking back up at me with such worry and guilt in his eyes, and my expression changed at that. "It's not ok, Lukas; you seriously could have been-" And he stopped, mid-way through sentence, only staring at me with a dazed expression on his face as pink dusted across his cheeks.

I cocked an eyebrow. "What, what's wrong with you?"

I didn't have much time to react after that, as after stumbling over his words I found the Dane leaning towards me. He was persistent, that was for sure, but taking every chance had got to kiss me even after a life-threatening event…after similar occurrences before, and without having enough time to panic, my first instinct was to push him away before our lips could touch. "What the hell is wrong with you, doing this here of all places? I have a _brother _who's _four_, you know!"

Mathias stumbled back, his expression seemingly sorrowed and hurt it looked like, and he sighed. "I know that…but you could have been killed. If either one of us were to die, that's what I would want our last goodbye to be…" He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with blush taking over, and my face had had the exact same reaction.

"Well…I…guess…that's one way…but I'd rather have a formal goodbye than some cheesy kiss like you'd see in one of those chick-flicks or something…" I knew my words all too well…Kya had taken me to several of those movies before, and after sitting through an hour and a half of wanting to stab my eyes out, I'd had just about the entire scene down. The cliché sobbing, pouring rain dancing across the window pane, and then that one, final kiss that acted as a goodbye. I was surprised I'd even managed to sit through one just to please her…but I had…and although I regretted every moment of it, it was useful for times like these. To plan out every possible way to get Mathias to stop making his move. And to think simple romance movies would be so helpful to a person like me…

The Dane, smiling now, began to chuckle a little, laughing to himself as I raised an eyebrow at him, and he spoke. "You probably don't want something to end like that because you're too damn uptight. Besides, after yesterday, you're obviously so uncomfortable with it that you just can't stand it!"

"With _you_! We're two _guys_, Mathias; wouldn't that seem a little awkward if you had a four-year-old with you not even knowing what the hell sexual orientation even is? And I thought you told me we'd never speak of it again!"

Mathias stayed quiet for a moment, before somehow changing the subject, and I reached to observe the wound on my knee as maroon has soaked entirely through the denim of my jeans.

"Look, we'll talk about this later. Let's just get your leg cleaned up." He said, getting up from where he was sitting, walking over to the stack of boxes in the corner where his First-Aid kit rested, and Emil walked over to him shyly with guilt smeared across his face.

I glared at the Dane. "Hey, I wasn't done yet-"

"Mattie…I'm a bad boy…" Emil said sadly, cutting me off as he looked towards the ground, and I could see several tears always trickling down his face as he sniffled.

Mathias turned to him, sighing as he crouched down to meet my brother's level, and he ruffled the child's hair gently as he spoke. "What happened, kid?" He asked, and Emil sniffled harder.

I wasn't too fond of Mathias referring to him as "kid", and it earned him a glare, yet all I was concerned about at the moment was why Emil was so upset?

"I hurt brother, Mattie. I pushed the big sword and it feel on Lukey's leg. I'm sorry…" He admitted, hesitantly, and Emil began to cry out of guilt as Mathias shot a look at me than turned his focus back on him.

_So he was the one who caused it to get knocked over…_ I thought, hardly able to be even remotely angry at him. After all, he was only a child; it wasn't his fault. And besides, the gash itself wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, and that was all that mattered.

"Emil…_kom hit_…" I spoke in Norwegian, and Emil immediately turned to me as he knew I only spoke to him in born-language if I was angry at him. Although, I was not angry at him, but did it more to actually get it attention turned over to me. After all, I'd taught him to speak mostly English as I was fluent after having lived in America for two years as a child, and he ironically knew little full sentences in perfect Norwegian.

The child walked towards me nervously, before he completely fell into my chest in a fit of sobs, and I shushed him as he cried and cradled him as if he were a baby. "Shh~, Emil…it's ok…I'm not hurt; I know it was only an accident. But I told you you need to stay far away from that thing or else you could get hurt by it. Just go get some rest for a little bit and think about all the other fun things you can do besides playing with…Mathias's…axe…ok?"

Emil nodded, walking in shame to the corner of the cave, wrapping a blanket around his body as he sat and sighed about the certain events that had just occurred. I wasn't blaming him at all; it was truly my fault that I hadn't explained to him that shiny, but sharp things, were not ok to play with. _Especially _with such a weapon as Mathias's! Why did he even have that thing in the first place?

"You'd make a great father, you know, treating your brother like that after doing something like that." Mathias whispered, smiling to himself as I sighed.

"I don't like children; Emil is really the only exception. Besides, he's my brother, I have to look out for him not matter what; even if that means spoiling him sometimes. You don't know what it's like…"

The Dane stayed quiet, almost too quiet it seemed, and I turned to him only to find his smirk washed away and replaced with a mourning frown as if an old memory had occurred to him. "What's with the face?"

He didn't speak for a moment, only sighed, and without moving or turning to look at him he spoke. "I do know what it's like to lose somebody extremely important…I lost my sister…my twin..."

_That's right…he has a sister… _I thought, my eyes going wide, and for once my senses were flooded with sympathy for the runaway. He'd mentioned his sister the day before as I was sleeping, yet I never knew about such a tragedy. And I couldn't imagine it…I couldn't imagine losing Emil. If it were to happen…there wouldn't be much I could do for myself anymore…

"What do you mean?" I asked him quietly, and I could see the extreme amount of remorse and hurt filling into his features as he cringed at the memory.

"She died when we were five or six years old that summer…Her named was Matilda. My parents told me she was going to go live with our grandparents in northern Copenhagen, but I wasn't so dense as to not know that she died, even as a child. They eventually told me out of guilt, but even then it still hurt…She had leukemia; there wasn't anything I could do about it. I never got to say goodbye…"

I didn't really know what to say after that; there wasn't much I could ask in the first place as I knew from the glimmer in his eyes that it defiantly was not one he'd bring up in a casual conversation. I was surprised though; he wasn't actually crying. It seemed as if it was more of a glimmer of hatred than of sadness…and that meant there was more to it…

"I…I'm sorry…" I said, it being the only thing I could.

Mathias shifted his body away from me a little. "I don't really want to talk about it…"

Mathias…turning away from me. I knew from there it was defiantly a touchy subject for him; it would have for been like that for anybody in a situation such. Like how it was with the death of my parents. But nonetheless, a helpful smile had returned to his face not a split second later, and he reached for the First Aid kit. "But, enough about that, let's just get your leg cleaned up." He said, unwrapping a strand of gauze as he rubbed disinfectant on it, and wrapped it around my leg.

I winced at the disinfectant's stinging touch, and he smiled to reassure me that all was well, staying silent with his smile speaking for itself. There was something Mathias wasn't telling me…whether it was with his family or himself, I just didn't know exactly what it was. All I knew, though, was behind the façade of a cheerful smile Mathias held a dark past, and it was best I never mention it in the first place.

My eyes lay averted to the ground as the Dane tended to my wounded, occasionally sending a brief glance towards his way. His hands were strong, crafted so finely in perfection, and the toxic in his eyes had toned down to their original clear blue. His smile was contagious, yet not affecting me, and I grunted as he wrapped the bandage gently around my leg. For once, I found myself blushing at Mathias out of nowhere; not of his past, not of _our _past, but just…his face. I'd seen many people in my life, yet I'd never seen something so carefully painted by the hands of God…so original…so…_Mathias_. And for the first time, I found the Dane beautiful…and I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was thinking.

Glancing up at him once more, I caught his eyes, and watched as they quickly shifted to my leg, and then back to my eyes again. And they stayed like that…for a long, long time…smiling…

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked, and Mathias only continued to smile.

"I just love looking at you…you've got a perfect face…You should smile more. Your lips are the most perfect part…"

My lips…I knew where he was going with this. I knew all too _well _where he was going with this! And I snapped.

"Ok, that's _it_! I know we're both thinking of the kiss, I know it's bothering the _hell_ out of us, so let's just get it over with already!" Immediately, I began to regret that last line, and from my sudden expression change I could tell he already knew just how improvised my words were. I didn't want to kiss him again…I knew I didn't. It wasn't some silly trick my mind was playing on me, I knew I didn't want to kiss Mathias again!

The blonde's eyes began to grow at that, shifting into surprise, and a fair shade of scarlet brushed against his cheeks.

"Well that was…random." He joked, stumbling over his words a bit as he tugged on the collar of his shirt. "But…at least it's good to know you've got it on your mind, too." I turned to him at that, with a pause setting in as he tried to find his words, and I could only wonder if his voice would even be audible over the vicious pounding of my heart. "Truth is, I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know why I did it…I just really got caught in the moment with you. So now…I guess the only way we'll be able to actually stand being around each other without feeling so awkward to the point of death is to…do it again…"

Scarlet went crimson at his words, and my stuttering turned into a furious mess of trickling words. "Y-You mean…you think we should kiss again…? Mathias, that's a terrible idea! It'll only make things worse!" I told him, dripping with nervousness. Our blush was mutual, pale skin completely covered in nothing by red, and there was no explanation I could give to myself that would explain exactly _why _I was so red-faced around the Dane. I mean, we _were _both two guys, but it wasn't as if I were straight. It was just a simple kiss! So why was I getting so uptight about this…why was I getting so nervous all of a sudden? But the one thought that was still hanging by a thread of denial was my thought of love…And it played repetitively in my mind as a reassuring piece of ultimate composure.

Mathias nodded. "I think it'll be good for us; and it's not a terrible idea! Look, we both know it happened, and we're both thinking about it. It'll settle our nerves so that we don't both have to be in denial for the rest of winter. …Just please…I don't want it to be awkward between you and I. I don't want you to hate me, Lukas…" He said, eyes turning soft in wanting.

_It's just a kiss…how awful can it be? It's just Mathias Lukas, it's not that bad!_ I thought, taking in a deep gulp of air, and I sighed. _Then again...it is..._

"Alright, let's just…get it over with and make it quick!" I said, taking a step closer to him as my nerves began to go wild behind a wall of apathy. His eyes held a strong security to them, like he was ready for it, and it was easy to see the Dane had far more experience than I'd ever have in a lifetime. I gulped, closing my eyes I braced for impact, and as eyelids fluttered shut I noticed the hit of a smirk slowing creeping across Mathias's face. "Ok…on the count of three….One…Two…Th-mpft!

And then…it happened. With no time to think or any movement to even do, it just happened. His large lips felt smooth as they crashed into mine, and my eyes lay fully open in shock, with the kiss was so quick I didn't have the amount of time I needed to process what was going on as he had made the first move to kiss back. Yet when every through spinning furiously in my head had finally managed to cool down, and I knew what was happening, I couldn't muster the amount of courage to kiss back, only standing there with no movement. And I regretted every short second that had passed by as I remained frozen.

Somehow, though, it occurred to me with that smirk of his that I knew he'd do this; that I knew he'd make the first move before I finished the countdown just to screw with my mind. He wanted more of me…and right now, with the tingling touch of his lips still resting on mine, I wanted nothing more than to feel that touch again. I wanted my turn…

As he pulled back, I caught the sight of that smirk again, and he chuckled at the dumbfound expression on my face as it was seconds away from bursting into flames, and the Dane licked his lips and bopped the tip of my nose with his finger. "Too slow~; always gotta expect the unexpected, Norge!" He mocked, trotting away in pleasure, satisfied at my dismay, and I could only stand there in awe.

No…I wouldn't let him get away with this so easily; I never even had my chance to kiss back! It wasn't real; it was just him playing with my mind! I glared at him, angry that he had stolen the kiss I'd been anticipating for. Yet there wasn't much of a reason I should have been angry in the first place…there wasn't much of a reason why I'd been longing for it for so long. But I wanted _my_ chance, not some little trick that Mathias had hidden up his sleeve! And as anger boiled below my skin, I didn't have time to stop myself from going straight after him.

"Dammit, Mathias!" I spat, yanking him by the collar as he turned around in bewilderment, and our lips crashed once more as it was finally my turn to kiss back. Now, it was his eyes that went wide, and as seconds passed and the kiss grew deeper I found his lips curling into a smile as he pressed back, and I continued to hang onto the collar of his shirt. The Dane snaked his hands around my waist, pulling me closer than I ever wanted to with him. Yet I took in that kiss; the soft touch of Mathias's lips grazing across mine, with the heat of blush already causing a fiery inferno through the passion that I'd put into it.

_Why am I putting so much of myself into this…why am I even doing this in the first place?_

By then, I'd broken away from his lips, breathing heavily as I took in the air I so desperately needed, and we only stood there in silence as neither of us knew quite what to do know. Yet as I succumbed to my desires and every bit of sense still hanging in me had been thrown into the blizzard, without even thinking it over, I reached up and kissed him once more.

Mathias's arms still pressed gently against my waist, and I found my arms reaching up slowly to pull his head down to deepen the kiss. And we stayed like that; for a long, long time we stayed like that, my fingers running through strands of messy blonde hair with everything else in the world blocked out until it was only Mathias and I who were the only ones left. Why was this kiss giving me so much electricity; a feeling of static pleasure that I'd gained just from locking lips with Dane for the fourth time. Neither of us dare let go of the other, nor did we want to, and I realized just then that hatred was defiantly not the right word for the amount of mixed emotions bottled up in my mind as they spun vigorously in my head,

I could feel Mathias's heartbeat pounding against mine, and I knew he could feel mine as well as it pounded against my chest. No breaks were involved, and air was needed so badly at the moment, yet I couldn't let this end quite yet. I didn't want it to…

"Ew, that's yucky, Lukey! Kissing is gross!"

We flew apart at those words, and I immediately recognized the voice as it came from Emil, who had been watching us. He gagged jokingly at our actions, doing the same for Mr. Puffin, and I turned to Mathias who had the exact same expression as I: utter embarrassment.

_Damn…I forgot Emil was with us. Hell, he's never going to let this go if we don't explain it to him! _ I thought, turning to Mathias as my face held fear, yet through an immense amount of blush splattered onto both his and my face, it seemed as though he wasn't at all ashamed as he began to chuckle. In fact, those chuckles had soon turned into hearty laugher, and he was nearly on the floor from laughing so damn hard!

"Wow, Norge, I didn't know you had so much fight in you! You really _are _a feisty one, aren't ya?" Mathias howled, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes as he laughed harder, and my cheeks tinged with embarrassment just as they had begun to cool down. What was this feeling; a feeling of not embarrassment or shame, but more of…warmth? A tingling warmth at that, not on the outside but on the inside, and it hurt like hell as it spread from my heart and then to my neck, and my body had gone numb at that.

"I…" was the only word I could manage to speak, and as Mathias's howls only grew louder I knew I couldn't take much more of this, and dived into the pile of pillows to cool down my heated face.

The Dane walked towards me, ruffling my hair as I growled, and he spoke between chuckles. "You're so cute, Norge! Here, I'll make some us some food and then we can sit and chill for the rest of the day." He said, and through the corner of my eye I noticed to soft smile rapidly spreading across his face as he went to sit next to a repulsed Emil.

It wasn't a secret anymore…I knew that from the undying blush that was so stubborn as to only flare up as he crossed my mind once more. Through much denial and many involuntary scorched expressions, it had finally occurred to me that I was in love with Mathias…

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><p><strong>Despite having a lot of fun writing this chapter, I'm actually not very pleased with how it turned out. I don't know, it's just my opinion, but it's a lot more irking to me than the earlier chapters. But, Lukas's feeling are always a ton of fun to experiment with, so there was defiantly a lot of things I could do with their situation! Plus, this chapter is also a big turning point for Lukas and Mathias's relationship, so most of the next chapters are going to be pretty fluffy.<strong>

**I ended up taking out a lot from the original and adding new information, but this chapter wasn't nearly as improvised as the last one. Chapter 13 won't be out until after next week because I won't have time to write at all, but the chapter schedule should be back to normal after that. Thanks again for reviews and feeback; you guys have no idea how much I appreciate it and love reading them! ^^**


	13. Chapter 12 5: One is But a Number

So, a couple people have requested do one of the earlier chapters in Mathias's POV since Lukas's emotions are conveyed much more obviously than his. And since I currently have a bad case of writer's block with chapter thirteen, I figured I'd do a little twist on chapter four to keep you all occupied during that wait. Thus…YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED! :D Although, Mathias is BEYOND different from how I've been writing him, mostly because it's in his POV this time, so be prepared for that. Also, the first part of this chapter is Mathias's flashback of chapter four, so it's only taking place about a week before. But, I hope you like it, and please enjoy and R&R! ^^

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

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><p><em><span>Mathias's POV<span>_

_December 16th, 2010_

_I remembered seeing his eyes; the luminescent blue that explored across them with such apathy placed firmly guarding a hidden barrier of grief. I didn't know his name, nor did I know where he had come from; where he was going…were he'd soon be…His clothes were tattered, and the pale blonde tresses that lay on his head were singed with rusty charcoal and a sickly darkened mixture of maroon. He held a little boy in his arms, whispering what seemed to be reassuring thoughts into his ear, and the silver-haired boy only smiled and nuzzled contently against his chest._

Love at first sight…that's a pretty cliché thought… _I thought to myself, my brow furrowed as I inspected him closely, watching as he moved so swiftly across the snow as the eerie cackle over wind howled and the sky's monotone color had been painted with its growing darkness of heavy showers of snow._ I'm Mathias Neiss; a Dane of strong nature. It'd be stupid and selfish for me to ever fall in love with somebody I don't even know or had never even met.

_His features…crafted so finely, yet they lay behind the blur of terrible eyesight and the fact that the brewing snow fluttering across the horizon had acted as a thin wall it seemed liked. Skin lay like fragile porcelain, painted with chilled blush and swirling blue that rested just above his mask. I wanted to know everything about him at that moment; my heart was racing so rapidly it seemed as if it were going to burst out of my chest at any moment. I was flamboyant; that wasn't hidden even when I was in Denmark. Yet nobody had made my emotions swirl like this…nobody had my every inch of my body so suddenly energetic and nervous. And the saddest part; I didn't even know how the hell this guy was anyway…_

_The blonde's silhouette followed the snowy path leading towards a village near my home, and my heart sped up at that thought. The thought of him just being even slightly close to me sight…_

_Somehow, though, I recognized him; as if I had seen him before. He was medium-sized with a slim, awkward figure, yet it still held its strong tension of an obvious determination coating blinded emotions. He looked about five-foot-seven, a few inches shorter than myself, and a tense aura hung around him that dragged its way towards me although I was watching from afar. But most of all, despite fine features and the normal teenage body, the thing I recognized most about this guy was the amount of apathy plastered into one fine expression that could only fit on one person such as himself._

_Could he have been that same beautiful boy I'd met two years before?_

Come on, Mathias, stop thinking such ridiculous thoughts! Besides, stalking him isn't goin' to help much, either… _I told myself, lurking behind the shadows of grooves of trees as he walked into town, observing him closely as he took long strides and sighed lightly in what looked like an act of remorse._

_I really was like a stalker, wasn't I…?_

_I moved slowly with the rhythm of the teen's feet, hiding behind the buildings and shops being careful not to be noticed, and he earned several odd looks from the locals as newcomers were rare are the small village. It looked as if he were heading east, towards Olso, and I had to wonder: how exactly did a kid like him with such a young boy with him end up on the streets?_

They don't look like they're visiting family or anything; plus the first town west is several miles away. Their clothes look so tattered and burned…could they possibly be…runaways…?

_I needed to stop thinking these foolish assumptions, as just the mere thought was enough to make my heart speed up and beat so viciously against my chest. How was it even possible to fall in love with somebody you didn't even know; loving them just for their looks was a shallow move at that. Yet I saw potential kindness in him, hidden deep in the heart of a jaded, grieving teenager._

_He needed a name to be called…Sindre. For a sparkling face needed such a name so fitting…For my beloved…_

_At that, my thoughts earned a mental slap in the face, disgusted and tormented so much of these love-struck actions. I wasn't the "hopeless romantic" type…nor the cheesy type…and especially not the utterly soft type. I wasn't one to be in denial, ever; I had a sense of sympathy. Yet it was the first time I'd fallen for someone in two years. Experience had been forgotten; the last love I had was only merely one-sided and crushed with that lacking feeling of mutual affection._

When did I get…so…so flustered over something so stupid. I'm faltering badly…but I should at least say hello if I'm ever going to even know his name instead of stalking him like this. _I thought, sighing hard as my pride was swallowed, and I slung the axe in my hand over my shoulder as its weight caused me to stumble back a bit. I had to be careful with that thing, as although most of the locals knew me already in such a small town, as a runaway most of them were not too fond of my presence, especially with such a large weapon. I wasn't a bad person; I knew that. I'd never kill anybody with it even if I had to._

_By the time I'd caught up with Sindre, he had already let the child he was carrying let loose, and the young boy waddled carelessly in play as he chased a cluster of pigeons and giggled in enjoyment. The two looked alike, and I figured they had to be brothers at that with an obvious close connection and bond between the two although I knew nothing of their past. I smiled at that, with such a cute kid seeming so happy and carefree as every child should be at such a young age, and it almost made me miss the family I abandoned. Yet I cringed at the thought; I'd never go back. Ever. As much as I loved my sister, Matilda was already deceased. I knew I couldn't take back her illness…and I knew I couldn't take back the bitter lies that went with it…_

_I shook the thought away quickly, wanting to focus on one thing and one thing only, and that was Sindre. He held goods of apples, water, and a loaf of bread in his hands, walking shyly towards the checkout counter as Elizabeta gave him a peculiar look, and I hid silently behind a stand of melons in a hidden corner. I couldn't see how Sindre hadn't noticed me; the stand of apples was almost directly in front of me! Yet I sighed in relief as he kept moving forward, not wanting the obvious sense of a stalker lurking over him like some following cloud._

_Stalker…It was the correct word in this situation, yet it irked me. I knew I wasn't some creepy serial killer…_

…Only a teenage boy in love…

_I watched as Elizabeta raised an eyebrow at them, checking out their food slowly as she observed their strange presence._

"_He ok?" She asked the young boy apparently, as Sindre was frozen solid in what looked like utter nervousness and a falter of his owns words._

"_He's shy." The boy said softly, taking a step forward in front of Sindre with the world surrounding him towering above him, and he held his head up high to meet her eyes._

_I smiled, chuckling to myself at his actions. I liked the shy type; they intrigued me…_

_Elizabeta asked of their names, smiling as well at the child's fearlessness, and he spoke with such delight in his voice. "I'm Emil, and this is my older brother, Lukas!"_

Lukas, huh. _I thought, my brows raised in surprise at Sindre's real name. _So I guess that's his real name…He doesn't really look like a Lukas, though.

_I listened closely to the Hungarian as she spoke to them, mentioning her homeland and theirs being Norway, and her next words caused a smirk to light up my concentrated expression._

"_Runways, right?"_

_Lukas's skin drained a sickly pale color at the mention of it, and seeing this I knew it could only be an act of fear or denial in all way and formed. Even with a nearly expressionless face, this guy wasn't too difficult to read._

_His words came out in soft mumbles as he spoke, blonde bangs falling over his eyes to hide the obviousness peaking through them. Wasn't much of a decent actor, was he…?_

"_No, we're not runaways, just passer-byers…" Lukas told her, and Elizabeta smirked as she had seen past his façade as well._

I can see right through him…No "passer-byer" would have singed hair and tattered clothing like that…

"_I know a runaway when I see one, Lukas. __We actually have one running around here, too; he's actually a pretty cool guy; looks about your age. That'll be ten dollars for the food, by the way."_

_I smiled at that comment, watching as he continued to keep his eyes averted to the ground without any contact being made of them, and a slightest tinge of scarlet brushed against his cheeks. He couldn't have been more than sixteen, I figured, as he was already so petite for such a teenager, and my grin continued to grow even wider thinking about the circumstances. Maybe this was like an act of fate, meeting like this just outside of such a large city with thousands of people circling around us already. I didn't want to be naïve like that, thinking of such ridiculous things, but the thought hit me like a striking bullet as if Cupid were handing me a one-way ticket into a perfect situation, and I figured…_

…What if I can get this guy to live with me…?

_No, no…that didn't seem reasonable. There was no way in _hell _anybody would ever except living in a cave in the middle of winter with little and limited supplies and the risk of death an illness on the line. I was walking on thin ice deciding to continue with such a lifestyle; after all, I wouldn't even be able to get a real home until June rolled and my eighteenth birthday would come. Although, even buying a house was out of the question as I hadn't even used real money in two years._

…_Now how was it even remotely possible for a spoiled rich-kid Dane to end up in such a bitter situation with no money and shelter I could only call my runaway home? Even my identity had been shattered…I wasn't even sure who I was anymore…_

"_It was nice meeting you boys; come back soon! Runaways _always _come back, you know." Elizabeta told them, and I caught the growing smirk creeping across her face as I dived below the stand of melons as Lukas and his brother walked past me, apparently not catching sight of my presence. Emil, clutching on to the older's hand, reached for the bag of good as he licked his lips, obviously hungry just from looking at the glimmering his violet eyes at the sight of food. How long had they even gone without eating; how long had they been out there already…?_

_Darting my eyes to each side of me, I stood up quietly from where I was standing, being wary of Lukas and the fact that I couldn't let him know exactly what I was doing. _

_Elizabeta raised an eyebrow as she saw me. "Mathias, what are you-"_

"_Shh~, don't speak. I'm goin' after this guy. I'm going to try to get him to stay with me." I whispered, shushing her as the brunette nodded hesitantly, glancing at me cautiously as I tiptoed my way out of the market and followed the path of footsteps Lukas had left behind in the snow._

_How was I supposed to get him to come with me, anyway; it wasn't like I could be so straightforward as offer to come live with a stranger he didn't even know in freezing temperatures with a little brother he was obviously protective of. I had to be careful with this; stealth it seemed, making sure not to catch him too off-guard or anger him in anyway. It wasn't my plan at all, but my stomach obviously had a different goal than my actual sanity._

_Truth be told, it was the second day I had gone without food. I was starving._

I've got to eat sometime today or else I'm going to starve. Even if it means I'll have to mug him, it'll at least get me closer to him…_ I thought, swallowing hard as I crept up behind him, and I could feel the obvious tension that had filled the gap between us, even being several feet apart._

_Lukas had spun around by then, guarding the child with him as he warned him of a "stalker following them", and I cursed under my breath as the ominous sense I'd left hanging in the surrounding atmosphere had apparently caught onto him. I held my breath as I pressed my back against the wall of an alley way, and he shrugged it off as they continued walking. I peered out from the corner, watching them closely, gulping hard as I crept closer to make my move._

This seems so wrong…but I have to do it for my own survival…

_I could sense the fear and worry expressed in both of their eyes as I threw Lukas to the ground, catching a glimpse of darkened blue eyes as they widened in surprise at the sudden attack, and I noticed his first move was not going after me, but throwing Emil behind him as I took the bag from the blonde's hand, slinging it over my shoulder as I retreated back to the cave. There was no way two runaways wouldn't follow me if I had their food…there was no way…_

_I heard the curse slip under Lukas's breath as he got to his feet, calling out to me with such intensity in his voice. I dared not look back at them, but from his distant words I already knew he was coming straight after me._

_And my plan was in session…_

"_Hey, get back here you thief! Come on, Emil, we're getting our food back!" He yelled, his footsteps stamping against the pavement blanketed with snow as he chased after me, desperately trying to reach me as his breathing grew heavy as I ran farther and farther with Emil secured safely in his hold. I noticed the thick Norwegian accent his voice held, yet his English was strong, and I knew at that it'd we much easier to understand each other. Although our languages were quite similar to each other, and I had lived in Norway for two years now, I knew almost no Norwegian at all after being isolated away from society._

_I'd led him to the forest by then, sprinting, trying to avoid the obstacles of the snowy branches of pine trees as I made my way through it. I knew the trail well, as I had been down it many times before, and Lukas was already a good ways away behind me as a gap of untouched snow lay ahead and the ring of trees surrounding the archery coarse I'd built approached. My lips curled into a smile at that, as I needed not to go much further until our destination would be reached. Yet in a sudden twist, Lukas stopped._

_Emil was released from his grip, scanning the setting with such fear in his eyes as he clung the his brother's leg, and a jolt of sympathy for the boy suddenly hit me. I pinned myself against a tree near them, hoping so badly to be unseen for I needed my plan to play out, and as of now my presence was safe._

"_Brother…" He said shakily, and the elder of the two leaned down and patted him reassuringly on the head. Their relationship with each other was so…bold and strong…_

"_It' ok, Emil, just stay extremely quiet until I find this guy, ok?" Lukas told him, and Emil nodded as he clutched onto his stuffed Puffin, and I figured that was my cue to show myself. Yet, I was reluctant, as I could easily point out the obvious anger expressed in Lukas's voice, and I wanted not to hurt either of them but only to become friends. After all, the entire reason I'd mugged them in the first place was because I wanted to be closer to him as selfish as it sounded. Right now, I was barely even worried about my health as I knew sooner or later the rapid throbbing of my pulse would soon burst and I'd die right then and there…_

_As they grew closer to me, I held my breath, knowing it was either now or never to make my move, and without thinking a single thought over as my actions spoke louder, I found my axe being thrown in front of him as I met the blonde's eyes and a smirk crept across my face._

"_I would move if I were you." I told him, keeping my actions playful and devious, as I didn't want him to take the wrong idea of me being some bumbling fool. I mean, I admitted the denseness that surrounded my thoughts, yet it wasn't my essential personality. The real Mathias Neiss was what I wanted him to fear…a type of boldness and daring nature._

_Lukas's eyes went from surprised to composed in a split second, them darkening with apathy as I could tell it was his strong-suit, and although his façade was well put I could physically feel him shaking as his knees rattled and his breathing shortened._

"_Who said I was going to move?" He said, crossing his arms as he raised an eyebrow at me, and Emil peaked up at me from behind the safety of his leg. The teen was so much more beautiful up close, with dull eyes turning toxic with burning anger I found so oddly attractive. He wasn't the first male I'd fallen for, just that first one in a long time. And besides, even with a bitter personality so far, I sensed kindness hidden deep in such a cold heart._

Yep…I can already tell this guy's the snarky type…But if he's already like this, it's only natural to mess with him a little bit; just for kicks!

_I smiled. "Well, from the looks of it, looked like you were heading back to that town. Playing hard-to-get, are we?" I sang, taking in satisfaction as his cheeks tinged pink with blush, and he glared. It was the first time I'd seen somebody blush like that in such a long time; a blush of embarrassment at that. It was cute…he was one of the few cold-hearted people I knew who were capable of expressing such emotion with one simple reaction. I knew right then and there he was the reluctant type, so if he wasn't going to admit love in any way or form, I'd just have to keep going with this to see what would happen._

_Lukas pushed me away from him as gripped onto my axe and their bag of food, and through the anger in his eyes it seemed like all he wanted to do was reason with me. Yet that wasn't my motive. This kid wanted a home._

"_Just give us back our food." He demanded, a flow of calmness coating the irritation in his voice, and I shook my head. I had to be persistent…I couldn't just let him or his brother die if they were to continue heading east; Olso was a big city for just the two of them!_

"_Um~, yeah, I don't think so. It's _my _food now." I snickered, twirling my axe around as he grew angry in his dismay, and Emil's expression grew frightened as he brother went after me._

_I was a few inches taller than him, puffing my chest out to prove superiority as the teen clenched his fists, and he confronted me with such force and hostility for such an shy person. _

"_Listen, it's either you give us back our food or-"_

"_We just want something to eat!" His little brother cried, suddenly cutting him over as he wailed, and as jokes aimed at Lukas disappeared as I watched frightened tears roll down his face._

Oh shit…he's crying…

_"We have no place to live! All we want is some food so we won't be hungry! Please don't kill Lukey, mister!" Emil sobbed, letting out harsh cries as Lukas reached down and reassured him all was well, glaring at me as he pulled his brother into a tight hug, and I dropped my axe at that to prove my innocence. I wasn't going to hurt them…I'd never do that…_

_"Shush~, Emil, it's ok; he's not going to hurt me. We're going to get some food and shelter, alright?" Lukas told me, and the boy nodded as the tears leaking from his eyes were gently wiped as they streamed down his face, and the Norwegian gave him a soft smile of comfort._

_It took a lot for me to actually blush, yet I found a hint of warmth growing on my cheeks seeing that sight. His smile was so beautiful; I couldn't see why it was only the first time I'd seen it thus far…_

_He then turned to me, scowling. "Way to go, idiot, you made my little brother cry. Now give us back our food before he starts crying again."_

Who does this guy think he is? Damn, he's attractive, but what an asshole! I bet I can play around with him and convince him to stay~.

_"Whoa, it's not __my __fault I made him cry, that was __Mathias Jr.'s __fault! I can't stand seeing little kids cry…" I paused. "Besides, I don't give things out for free."_

'Mathias Jr.'s fault'? Really, Mathias?

_"It __is __your fault, and it's __our __food, not yours; so you're not "giving it out for free"_

_He was pissed now…and although I didn't want to piss him off even more, it was all the more of a good reason to stay with me: to kill me._

"_What's in it for me?"_

_At that, a felt the strong force of a boot being slammed against my chest, and the next thing I knew I'd landed in a pile of frigid snow was Lukas pinned me to the ground with his foot, and it seemed as if rage were flying out from him in every which way. His teeth lay bared, eyes a toxic, cobalt blue, and by then I had had enough common sense to let him speak for once. The teen was furious…_

_"Listen; we have __nowhere __left to go. Our house is burned down, our parents are dead, and now we have to live out on the streets! If you're just a runaway looking for food, then just get some yourself!" The Norwegian spat, followed by a stiff silence as I had no words to respond to that. So he truly was out there for a tragic reason…just as I'd suspected. And although that was the only thing I knew of his past so far, I knew right then it could only be support that would piece his dignity and pride together again. After all, just from sensing it, we had both lost a good chunk of our honor..._

_I stared at him for a long time, taking in the fine features that lay on his face as he calmed down, and I realized that although pissing this guy with flirtatious remarks wasn't going to get me anywhere, I was crossing my finger that that was the tactic to getting him to give in._

_"You know, I like you. You're the_ feisty _kind, I can tell." I paused for a moment, thinking my words over carefully, before remembering the reason I'd stopped him in the first place. "Now, I'm going to make a deal with you; you work for me, and I'll give you food and let you stay at my place. What do you say?"_

_My heart was thumping so viciously in my chest at that moment. As much as I knew he hated me at the moment, a first impression wasn't anything. It was what he felt was best for Emil…and I knew from the beginning he'd go with that. As terrible of an impression I'd made, and as crazy as it sounds I meant to. If we were going to be living together, that meant we'd have to get used to each other instead of our masks. Especially if denial was to come…_

_I grinned in satisfaction as his cheeks fell scarlet once more, and in dismay he had released me, letting me get to my feet as he spoke. There was trust…I could feel it; even if it was just single drop._

_"First of all, I'm __not __the "feisty kind", and I'm not exactly a fan of yours. And what __is __this place of yours? You're a runaway, you don't __have __a place."_

_I laughed. "Oh, but you __are__. I know you're type when I see it. And besides, who says you can't have a home when you're a runaway? It's my runaway home, and it's pretty nice if you ask me! Now what do you say, either help me and get your food back, or don't and leave this place. Your choice."_

_Lukas thought for a moment, crossing his arms as he stared at me for a long while, and I waited almost impatiently for his answer. I wanted so badly for him to stay; I couldn't be isolated like this for any longer! We both had come from broken families; I wanted to help him. The loneliness eating at my insides was something I could put up with no longer…_

_And thus, his answer had nearly made my heart lose control with its sudden burst of adrenaline. "…Alright fine, I'll work for you. But what about my little brother; he's only four, he can't work in these weather conditions!" He told me._

_I rolled my eyes, knowing that wasn't even my intention in the first place_. "_I never said _he _had to work for me, I only said _you _had to, _Lukey_~." I said mockingly. I knew just how much fun it was going to be to taunt him with that nickname._

_As I began to walk towards the cave, I felt my heart begin to speed up. I knew I was in love with him from just from looking at him, but even the Norwegian's cold-hearted personality…I sensed more to it. I sensed a strong about of compassion stored away in such a jaded young body, and I knew that however bad the events that had occurred before we had met were, it had to have just killed all emotions inside him._

_Lukas paused, continuing to stare at me. "What's your name, anyway?"_

_I turned back around to face him, a content smile making its face onto my face as I just couldn't seem to hold it back. There was no point in asking for his name as I already knew it, and the fact that he even remotely wanted to know mine was…well, it was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long, long time._

"_The name's Mathias; seventeen years old. Welcome to the runaway society."_

_I couldn't tell if it was from lack of oxygen or that fact that I was in a completely state of trill, yet all I knew at the moment was that my heart had skipped a full beat knowing Lukas would be staying with me for a time being. And it wouldn't be until the day I died that I'd tell him that._

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><p><em><span>Present time<span>_

"Hey, Norge, throw me a bottle of water, will ya?" I told him, lounging against the frozen wall of the cave as I caught the bottle in my hands, gulping it down as my quenched throat was finally satisfied with the lack of liquid I'd consumed all day being no more.

Lukas sighed. "Don't drink all of it, Mathias; it's the last one and we're not going to be able to make a trip to the market with all the Christmas shopping going on." He sighed, keeping his eyes locked on the fire without even daring to look me in the eye, and his face had finally been drained down to its original pale color without any blush sprouting up secretly across it. I wondered what he was thinking; with such an emotionless expression it was hard to tell exactly what was going on in that little mind of his.

We did not speak, nor did we make eye-contact, and Emil rested contently in the corner of the cave as he brother had ordered him to earlier. It was just silence…utter silence that filled the room, and with such awkwardness I knew there was some wrong with Lukas at the moment. After our fourth shared kiss, he wasn't being himself lately. The Norwegian was much quieter; much more down to earth with expressing his irritation towards me, and most of all, he was blushing a lot more than I'd ever seen him before since we first met.

…Could he have been thinking of it to…?

No, that didn't seem reasonable. It was _Lukas _we were talking about here, and God only knew how reluctant this guy was with everything! But still…I had to wonder about that. Kissing him was out of utter will and choice of mine, and it wasn't like I didn't _want _to do it. It was almost as if I had to, as such a beautiful being needed to be kissed a one point. …Which brought me to the next question that wondered if he even knew how beautiful he was…?

_He's apparently bisexual…I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell him now…_

"Norge, listen, I-"

"That's enough water, Mathias, give it back now." He cut me off, taking the drink from my hand as he took a sip from it, and I couldn't help but snicker at that as it were almost as if it were an indirect kiss. Yet technically, it was.

I gazed that the Norwegian, taking in his face as continued to stare mindlessly at the fire. Blue was radiating from the heat of the inferno, swirling and their sparkly cobalt color, and pale blonde tresses turned golden with the hot colors reflecting onto them. His skin was beautiful…his eyes were beautiful…his hair was beautiful. Everything about Lukas was just…beautiful…

"Mathias, why are you staring at me like that? It's creepy…" He said, snapping me back into reality as I noticed the familiar, rosy color returning to his cheeks, and I shifted my eyes to the floor as my grin only grew wider.

"I was just thinking…about a lot of stuff. The future, the past, everything, really…"

That comment was true, though; I was indeed thinking of the past. Of our first meeting…our first night together…holding him so tightly in my embrace has he cried into my chest. It was the reason I wanted Lukas to stay with me, not because I was so deeply in love with him at the moment was because I wanted to help me. I wanted to rid of his grief that he held of his family.

…And then it occurred to me. We didn't even know each other's last names.

"Hey…Lukas…I've been meaning to ask. What's your last name?"

Lukas turned to me at that, bewildered, and hesitantly and warily he responded. "Bondevik…why do you want to know?"

I shrugged. "I was just curious. I mean, we've known each other for almost a week now, and I've only ever known your first name."

_Bondevik…I know that last name from somewhere. I just can't seem to put my finger one where I've heard it before…I mean, we never knew each other before this, right?_

A pause set in, and then he spoke. "Well, what's your last name?"

I sighed, hoping he wouldn't ask me that same question, yet I saw it coming. I wanted to rid of this identity…yet it was the only way I could identify myself at the moment…

"My last name is Neiss…Mathias Neiss…"

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><p><strong>...I think I just mind-screwed so many of you guys with the last half of this chapter... <strong>

**Out of every chapter I've written so far, this one has got to be one of my favorites, if not my favorite. Truth be told it was defiantly much more difficult to write than the others, but MAN is Mathias a fun character to write! Although he seems pretty far off from how I've been writing him, I feel as though it made him a little easier to understand now that his side of the story has been told. I really see Mathias having more of a soft side towards Lukas than just his usual obnoxious antics. Plus, as a side-note, "Sindre" (according to a website I read) is actually a Norwegian name that literally means "sparkling". See what I did there? :)**

**I really hope I'll have chapter thirteen out fairly soon, but I'm just now starting to get pretty busy again, so I actually don't know. But, I've got a bunch of new ideas for other fics all crammed in my head, so hopefully I'll have some new stuff out soon enough. Thanks so, so much for reviews, and I'm sorry I couldn't get to any of them this week! I love responding to them, and I promise I'll try to this week ^^**


	14. Chapter 13: Don't Forget to Breathe

Goodness I've been terrible with updating lately! It's been a very stressful two weeks with a lot of personal problems going on, so I've been on writer's block hardcore this entire time. I didn't want it to be too repetitive to chapter 7, so it was a little difficult to write, which is also why it's been taking me so long to finish. ^^' …But judging from the reviews I've gotten so far…you all are going to kill me by the end of this chapter… Thanks again for the reviews, and enjoy and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia**

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><p>My mind had about a million things going on at the moment; twisting, fighting, and truth be told I hadn't gotten my stomach to settle down since the afternoon the day before when every bit of tension crammed into my body had suddenly fallen into a bottomless fit and would not seem to leave at that. I couldn't think straight…my heart was racing, with its pulse pounding senselessly in my chest, and the merciless force of it had caused me to go dizzy several times with everything all happening too fast and at once. Then again, I skipped dinner the night before as well…<p>

_I never knew being this love-struck would affect me this much…_ I thought, staring dazed at Mathias as he slurped down the rest of his breakfast like that of a pig, licking his lips as soup trickled down his chin, and a cradled the long drop on his tongue before swallowing it. I clenched my fists at that, trying so badly to hold back. I couldn't let him know about this…unless he already figured it out for himself. The damn Dane wouldn't let a single thing go until he got to the bottom of it…

Mathias turned to me then, cocking an eyebrow as he watched me sit there awkwardly in an uncomfortable silence, and he poured soup into another bowl, handing it to me as its aroma and steam warmed the chill coating my face.

"You've gotta eat somethin', Norge. You're going to get sick if you don't eat; it's not like living in actual home where you've got food already, we're basically living off scraps!" He said, giving me a soft smile with blue eyes turning violet in the reflection of the fire, and he took my hand in his. His hand was freezing cold; a bitter sensation of sudden chill that caused me to flinch, and my face heated up at that touch as my heart began to move faster. "I want you to be safe…"

I hesitated for a moment, before slapping his hand away as I stared at the thin liquid, watching as its murky color swirled around the bowl and chunks of potato peaked up, and then submerged. My heart was beating so fast…I couldn't let him hear it. In fact, it was throbbing so hard against my chest that I wondered if he even could!

"I'm fine, Mathias, I'm just not feeling very well. I don't want to eat and then vomit it all up again; it'd just be pointless…" I told him, setting the bowl off to the side, clutching onto my stomach as a sudden chill ran down my spine as cool air brushed against my skin. My body wouldn't settle down; these countless emotions swirling around inside me made my stomach ache, and I found myself nodding off as my thoughts overwhelmed the amount of pressure my head could take. Was this truly love…or was it just me being so exhausted I could barely take it…?

As I began to falter, slipping onto his chest, Mathias caught me, taking my hand once more as he shook his head.

"No, Lukas, you need sleep…you'll become delirious soon if stay in this condition for too long. Just rest for a little bit longer; I don't want you to become an insomniac like this." He murmured softly, and the Dane looked at me with such pity in his eyes. He cared...he cared so much for me. So much it even pained me to think about…I had absolutely no idea why he was this kind towards a stranger...

I pushed him away gently, turning away from him as I refused to face the sympathy smeared across his features.

"Mathias, really, I'm fine. I don't need any more sleep…I've just got a lot on my mind…"

Silence set in at that, and he let out a long sigh, gripping onto my hand tighter as I noticed the amount of tension breaking off from his sad expression, as if he were contemplating about doing something. I knew he was worried; it wasn't that difficult to tell for his normally cheerful expression had been suddenly flooded with a wave of wariness for me. I didn't want him to worry like this…I was perfectly capable of handling myself on my own; I didn't need some babysitter to do it. Especially in our current situation…

And then, I felt the moist touch of his lips press briefly against my cheek, and as I spun around to face him, the Dane was sitting there innocently with a smirk on his face as if nothing had ever happened. Heat spread across the bridge of my nose, and my eyes widened in surprise as I started at cool blue eyes. "M…Mathias…!"

"Did that wake you up? Now eat; we're not doing anything else until you do." Mathias told me caressing his large hand against my cheek softly as the blush only grew stronger, and he gave me a sincere smile. "Please, Norge…"

I only gazed at him for a moment, before that dazed expression soon turned into a scowl, and I moved his hand away. So what if I was in love with him; it didn't change anything about our relationship.

"Mathias, you can't do things like that here. Remember my brother…" I mumbled, pressing my finger to my cheek as I could still feel the soft touch of his lips lingering across them. I couldn't tell if he had just had experience, or all this passion of his was crammed together for me and me only…

Mathias chuckled, his sly tone hinting something more. "Would you rather it be on your lips?"

"…I'd rather it not…"

"Then get some damn energy, will ya? I can't stand seeing you so exhausted all the time; it's making me concerned for your own health."

I sighed, giving in to his persistence, and after staring at the soup in my hands I slowly scooped the liquid into my mouth with a spoon, and then another. It was the first thing I'd eaten in almost a day…and although it wasn't genuine or even the slightest bit tasteful, I wasn't complaining. At times like these, it was a miracle we could even get our hands on any food for that matter…

Mathias smiled as he watched me down the meal, ruffling my hair in satisfaction as I groaned and scooted away, averting my eyes to the floor as I dare not look at his smiling mug. I couldn't even begin to wonder why the hell I had fallen for him in the first place…He cared for me, yet he truly was an oblivious idiot. Although I somehow found attraction through it all…

Yes…attraction…Either that, or the many kisses we had shared were just a mere decoy that were using me to convince myself of sudden feelings…

_This feeling is mutual between Mathias and I…so why am I being so reluctant in convincing myself it's true…?_

The Dane stared into the fire a long time as I ate my breakfast, smiling contently to himself, and both of us sat in silence as we took in this moment of pure tranquility. The storms from yesterday had calmed down, with only the light drift of snow fluttering across blankets of white, and the clear morning sky of Olso kissed the surrounding pine trees with its golden touch, light illuminating around us. Mathias's features seemed so bright shining in that sunlight…so glistening…so perfect. Yet perfection was not what I seeked, as I wasn't some selfish egoist only looking for the face as a passage to love. Although right now, in this moment, there wasn't a thing I could do but stare…

Obviously, though, Mathias saw this as I began drifting off, staring off into space as I gazed at his eyes…his lips…and a devious smirk crept across his face at that. "Are you staring at me, Lukas?"

Light scarlet burned across my cheeks at his words, realizing what exactly I was doing, and immediately I shifted my eyes away from him and onto the fire as I spoke. "I'm staring at the fire, idiot…"

"Well, for a second there, I kind of looked like you were gazing at me all day-dreamy like. Is someone in love~?"

I glared at him, my cheeks still stained with their stubborn rosy blush, and his comment earned him a swift elbow to the gut. "I've already made it fairly clear that I'm not in love with you. So can it, Dane."

Mathias coughed, pounding his fist with his chest as he clutched onto his stomach, managing to let out small chuckles as his smile held a wall of irritation behind it.

"I'm just teasing you Norge; when you get like this, it makes me think it even more! You're not that difficult to read…you can just admit it, Lukas."

I huffed. "Admit what?

He smiled. "Admit that you love me. I can see right through you, ya know…"

"I can't admit something if it's not true…" I told him nonchalantly, looking to the ground as I sat in dismay as blush continued to shine vividly through pale skin. I was a liar…I knew that. Yet I couldn't so easily say those three little words after all we had been through, especially only knowing him for a barely a week. I'd never told anybody I loved them, excluding my parents and my brother. Not even Kya or Berwald… "Besides, I'm not experienced in romance; it's not like I've actually said it to anybody besides my family…"

The Dane just laughed, ignoring my statement as he went back to the fire, tossing a pebble into it as the inferno grew and crackling embers spewed onto the floor of the cave. There wasn't anything more I could do to convince him his love was only one-sided…

"Well, you just say it when you're ready. I'm always waiting." His smile grew as pink tinted his cheeks, and after a short pause he spoke. "Hey, now that you've eaten, why don't the three of us go and take a little walk by the creek; it's beautiful outside today."

I turned to him, seeing the warm smile on his face, and I sighed. I noticed how the runaway always wanted to spend and unlimited amount of time with me; hardly unusual, yet it still didn't seem right how one person could be so persistent and loving to person so reluctant about their feelings. I thought of the offer for a few moments, taking in his soft blue eyes…his smile…but at that I remembered my brother's condition, shaking the thought away, and I shook my head.

"Mathias, we can't do that; my brother will only get worse and worse if he's out in the cold too much. For now we've just got to stay here until he gets better." I told him, and Mathias only smirked.

"Norge, it's not like he's sick because of the weather. Like you said, it's from the smoke."

"But he _could _get sick from the weather!" I sighed once more. "You know how much I care for my brother. I don't care if it's seventeen degrees Celsius outside, or no matter how bundled up he is, Emil is all I've got left. I can't risk it…"

Mathias sighed, grabbing hold of my hand gently as the cool stroke of his fingers caused scorching blush to rise, and he spoke so softly to me in a hushed, tender tone. "Lukas…you can't be so worried about him all the time. If you constantly worry about him, you'll just throw yourself into extreme paranoia. We've been outside many times, and the blizzard has cleared up completely. Don't you think Emil should be able to have a fun childhood during these times instead of you being overprotective with him?"

The calm seduction of his eyes had won me over, and I mumbled under my breath as I shifted my eyes to the floor and slapped his hand away. It was strange how the Dane was capable of knowing what was best for me even when I was oblivious to it, and he was indeed correct; I was protecting Emil so intensely for the sake of our family living on. Yet he needed a childhood…I wanted him to rid of this horrid past…

I didn't speak, only kept my eyes averted to the floor, and he smiled as he turned to my brother, who was now awake. "Hey, Emil, how would you like it if took a little walk down the creek? Although, your brother isn't giving in too easily…how should we convince him?" He said, hinted deviousness peeking out from within his voice.

Emil perked up at that, as I knew just how much he loved to roam around and explore in the snow despite the temperature, and he immediately hopped up and jumped onto me as the child tugged on my jacket.

"Please, Lukey; it's so pretty outside today! I want to see the birdies again!" He whined, clinging onto me as I managed to keep a composed expression, although I shot a quick, irritated glare at Mathias.

I picked my brother up gently, setting him on my lap as I ruffled his silvery tresses, and I spoke. "Alright…we'll go down to the creek…but it'll only be for a little while. Nobody needs to get sick here since we're all the cramped together." I told him, and Emil nodded as he let out a happy giggle, and waddled to the other side of the cave to grab Mr. Puffin.

Mathias smiled at my actions, grabbing a set of arrows and a bow from the hook they were hanging on, and I sighed as I continued to glare at him.

_I can't continually give in like this; sooner or later, things are going to get really fatal really quick… _I turned away as he winked, warmth spreading across my cheeks as I scowled. _If only it wasn't for that damned face and hospitality of his that's making me falter like this…_

* * *

><p>If there was one place I really didn't want to be at the moment, it was walking through a forest of glistening white with Emil giggling sweetly as he skipped across the floor, and Mathias walking in sync with my movements as I kept my eyes focused on the trees surrounding us. I'd never take for granted such a serene setting such as this one, it was only the fact that the Dane was standing so close to me that every last sense of comfort I had left in me had been washed away the second we set foot out of the cave. It wasn't as if it were too terribly cold out; the sunlight was rather relaxing and calming considering how deadly the Northern temperatures could be. Yet I couldn't tell if it was the sun's rays that placed a coat of warmth guarding my chilled body, or the undying amount of tension surrounding Mathias and I.<p>

_Lukas, you're overreacting. He's catching on quickly since I'm acting so…flustered all the time. _I turned to him, noticing the faint, warm blush that stained his cheeks, and the Dane smiled lightly as he caught my eye, snickering to himself as I turned away quickly. _It may not be unrequited love, but damn he pisses me off so much. I don't even believe it myself that I feel this way…_

"Norge…" Mathias spoke, grazing his hand across my head as long, broad fingers ran through strands of blonde hair, and with my senses kicking in, I was immediately alerted, and slapped his hand away with my face turning flushed as he stood there confused. He tipped his head to the side a bit, holding up a pale strand of string in his fingers, and I breathed heavily at the sudden shock. "You…had a piece of string in your hair…"

Involuntarily, my hands reached the back of my head, searching for anymore unnecessary items, and as the Dane tossed it into the snow, I couldn't help but stand there, embarrassed at my sudden actions and reflexes, and my face flushed bright crimson.

"Oh…yes. Well, thank you…for…getting it out…I guess…." I mumbled, turning away from him, yet Mathias continued to observe me as he took in shy features and noticed even more feeling behind that.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You've been acting a little funny lately, Norge. Are ya sure you're alright?"

Hesitating as he grew closer, I nodded. "I'm fine Mathias…" I told him quietly, and after having to put up with countless excuses before that, Mathias only smiled.

"Well…alright then. We better get going before Emil gets impatient with us, though."

"…Right…"

As the Dane continued to walk, I followed behind him slowly, sliding my feet across the icy snow as its touch nipped at my boots, and I let out a long sigh as I watched Mathias's messy blonde hair bounce up and down as he moved. He was so concerned for my well-being; yet one can only consume so much compassion and protection until they're finally so sick of it to the point of wanting to retreat right then. Although, I didn't want to retreat; I didn't want to abandon Mathias…I didn't want to abandon myself. And the fact this was solely for Emil was all I needed to convince me my destiny was in good hands…

The riverbed lay much harsher than usually today, with the waves of the river crashing against the surface and its barriers. Rocks submerged from its clear coating, and only little patches still lay unmelted from yesterday's blizzard. It was unusual, the river flowing like this, especially during winter's cool temperatures. And it being so rough instead of its normal, calming flow was the most peculiar question of it all...

Yet nonetheless, I ignored it, leaning down to Emil as he walked towards me, and placed my hand on the top of his head. "Emil, I want you to stay where I can see you, okay? You can't be too close when I'm shooting, so Mathias will stay here with you.." I told him, and the child nodded.

Mathias raised an eyebrow in disapproval. "Wait, who said I had to babysit him?"

"_I'm_ saying you have to babysit him. If I'm going to get anywhere with this archery thing, I'm going to need practice. I don't want Emil getting hurt, especially since the currents are so high today."

"Mr. Puffin and I will stay right here, Lukey." Emil piped in, and I smiled as I ruffled his hair and he plopped into the snow, rolling around in innocence with his body covered in pure white, and he squealed.

Seeing how occupied he was already, I began walking upstream towards the archery ring, only to be stopped by a firm hand I could only identify as Mathias's. I turned to him, seeing his expression hinting a hidden desire in his eye, and I frowned.

"What?"

He hesitated. "I want to come with you."

"Why; it's just a minute upstream, it's not like I'm walking for miles."

"…There could be bears…and stuff…"

"…Mathias…it's December…"

Then Dane paused, grunting, and still holding onto my shoulder he spoke. "Just please, Norge, I want to come with you. Like you said, it's only a minute away, so Emil should be fine if he's only left alone for a second."

I sighed, turning to him now, and crossed my arms. "Why do you want to be with me all the time?"

Mathias paused, rosy pink making its way to his cheeks, and he paused briefly as he thought his words over.

"I…I wanted to show you this technique I picked up. It'll be useful if we ever go hunting."

I caught the hinted deviousness in his eyes as he spoke, yet nonetheless shrugged it off, telling him to follow as I called back for Emil to stay, and we made our upstream. It wasn't too far, as Mathias had mentioned before, and I figured that like he said, Emil would be fine being on his own for a few minutes. After all, he managed to stay in the cave by himself during my first session of archery lessons.

An awkward silence hung around the two of us as we walked, neither of us even daring to break the silence, and I looked to the sky. It lay a cool blue, with scattered gray clouds painted across it, and the snow on the branches of the trees surrounding us dipped down as light drops of water trickled from the pine needles they rested on.

Taking in the sweet scent of pine, I sighed hard, not even expecting Mathias's next actions as I felt a single hand intertwine with mine, and with my face heating up at the sudden touch, I looked down only to see the Dane's hand wrapped firmly around mine. He had a content smile on his face, blushing as well, and with my heart beating senselessly there wasn't a thing I could do to bring up the nerve to stop him.

"So…_this _is why you wanted to come with me; to _hold my damn hand_?" I asked, a little more sternly than I had wanted to, and trying to break away he only gripped harder. The vicious pounding of my heart throbbed in my ears, and I could barely even hear the raspiness of his voice as he spoke.

"No, it wasn't just that; I do want to show you a technique." He said nonchalantly, continuing to smile as I struggled, and seeing as though I couldn't win with his strength powering over me, I let my arm sink down as we walked.

"Yes, but it was part of it! Jeez, it's not like we're a couple or anything…"

_This is awkward…I need to break away from this somehow…_

We walked in silence to the ring, an uncomfortable silence at that, and the stubborn scarlet that stained the tips of my ears and cheeks refused to come off. I couldn't tell whose heart it was that was beating so rapidly as we walked hand and hand, although as a best bet, I figured it was me and only me. His hand was warm and soft, pressing so gently against mine with his fingers wrapping tighter around it, and groaning, the ring had approached.

"Alright, you go get set up and practice a little bit, and I'll be back in a few minutes." Mathias said as we reached our destination, carefully setting the supplies on the ground as I went to pick up the string and bow. Yet as I did so, looking up to see if he was on his way, I felt his lips press against mine for a mere second, and at that I broke away immediately in despair as I stumbled back a bit.

"What did I tell you about kissing me?" I spat, covering my mouth with my hands as I averted my eyes to the ground, blushing furiously. He always seemed swoop in like that whenever I least expected it…

The Dane smirked. "You only said I couldn't do it in front of your brother. Besides, it was only a quick peck, it's not like it matters anyway."

"It matters to _me_! It's awkward kissing somebody I barely even know, no matter what the circumstances are!"

A pause set in.

"…Well, the circumstances are perfect if you ask me! Have fun~!"

"No, wait, Mathias-!" And with that, he was off, trotting back towards the stream with that smile still plastered to his face, and I could only scowl and sigh as I still felt the touch of his lips on my own. I felt so much spark when he kissed me…yet at the same time, I also felt nothing at all…

_He…irks…me… _I thought, still sustaining a fair amount of blush on my face. _…Yet as awkward as it is to admit…he can kiss pretty damn well…_

* * *

><p>Damn… Nothing. Not a single arrow had hit the target painted on the tree I'd been aiming after attempting two times over, and as I squinted my eyes even harder only to find another miss in place, I sighed.<p>

"It's just not my day, is it…?" I mumbled under my breath, irritated slightly, and reached for another arrow as I heard the faint sound of crunching snow before me as footsteps approached.

"How's it goin', Norge, you doin' all right up here?" Mathias called, his silhouette emerging from behind a wall of trees, his expression holding a cheerful aura as he grinned and trotted over to me.

Seeing the pile of arrows scattered around the target, I sighed in dismay. "Not well…You actually believed me to be a "natural" when I've never even done anything like this?" I said, and he smiled.

"You just need a little practice, is all. That reminds me, I need to show you that technique I was talking about earlier! Here, let me show you!"

And with that, he took the bow from me, pulling an arrow back as he squinted his eyes into small slits, aiming with such patience and skill that I had never seen from Mathias before. "For best accuracy, you have to be steady and calm. Collect yourself, relax your senses, and once you're in complete focus, aim…and shoot." He released the arrow, and I watched as it spiraled so smoothly and flawlessly into the second ring of the tree, and he smirked in satisfaction as the result. "Just like that."

I turned to him, crossing my arms as I gave him a testing look. The Dane sure did have a big ego, always wanting to show off his skills to me any chance he got, or anybody for that maker. If I said I hated him for being an egotist, I'd be a hypocrite, and I'd admitted to myself already that his skills _were _quite impressive. Attractive, almost, as he took so much pride in everything he did that his boasting had led me to believe that he _was _flawless in it all. Then again, this was only basic archery, something he had quite a bit of experience in. Yet also, it was Mathias we were talking about here…if anything, he was _far _from flawless…

I snorted. "How can I be relaxed when I'm around you?"

Mathias tipped his head a bit, obviously not understanding the concept of the comment, and only smiled.

"Huh, what'cha mean, Norge?"

I stared at him in silence, waiting for that sudden expression change as it processed through his mind, the blonde doing the same to hold that goofy smirk on his face as he ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek. Yet he didn't…only smiled…and during those slow second of silence was when I heard the shill cry of Emil coming from downstream and the furious slapping of water between the muffled calling of my name. And the second I heard those cries, the only reaction that could ever come before me was my face draining pale white and the arrows slipping from my hands as my body began to shake uncontrollably.

"E…Emil…"

A sickening twist hit my stomach hard, and I grabbed hold of Mathias as he turned to see the cause with my voice coming out in shaky, hoarse whispers. "You idiot; you were supposed to be watching him!"

"I _was_ watching him; I just came up here to check on you!"

"And you didn't even _remind _the kid to stay as far away from the water as possible when it's this high?"

"I figured he already knew after you told him!"

I shifted my focus onto the faint sound of Emil's cried, releasing Mathias as I made my way downstream, sprinting past trees as their branches were shoved into my face, as tears streamed down my face from the pain and utter fear.

"E-EMIL, I'M COMING! JUST TRY TO HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER!" I called out to him, desperately running through the forest as Mathias followed behind me, jumping over a fallen log as I stumbled towards the approaching river. Trees flung at me as I ducked, my vision becoming nothing more than a blur of green and white, and my pulse pounded so violently I could barely hear my brother's screams for help back to me.

"LUKAS, HELP ME! I CAN'T BREATHE!" He screamed, his head submerged underwater once more as his words became incomprehensible, and as I made my way down I river I could see the small spec of silver hair bobbing up and down. He struggled to fight against the rapids the winds only pushed him farther away from me, and he slapped against the water trying his hardest to keep his head above the water. It had only occurred to me then that the child had never learned to swim properly…

_Well isn't this just one hell of a déjà vu…_

I could see him growing closer as I ran, watching as violet eyes pleaded for safety, and at the moment I could care less about the small chucks of thin ice floating on top of the water, or even the temperature at that. My first instinct was to dive into the water and swim after my brother, fighting against the current as well. The cold was almost overwhelming as the rush of frigid water hit my body as I dove in, making it even more difficult to breath as every part of my body had become nearly frozen solid at this point. Yet it wasn't, and thus I could only push myself harder knowing this. If Emil was going to die, I wanted to die with him…

My brother was completely submerged at this point, and beginning to panic, I searched desperately for a sign of his body; he shirt, his hair, anything. I only wanted to think of the best at the moment, yet frankly that was impossible in a situation like this. I couldn't let him die…not like this…not with me being so foolish as to leave him alone without taking any responsibility in thinking what the outcome could be. If he were to die, I'd be my fault completely…

"E-Emil, please, where are you?" I screamed, diving underwater to search for him, yet the strength of the current completely obscured my vision. Yet that's when I saw the sign of a thin white shirt floating on top of the water, as well as the little sliver of hair sticking out, and then more. I raced to him, my heart pounding with fear and panic as I scooped Emil in my arms, seeing his face shaded a light shade of purple after being in the water for so long. His eyes lay closed, with his mouth cracked slightly open, and tears spilt from eyes as I knew he was with me now. "You're safe now, brother…you're safe…

I made my way back up stream, clinging onto the side of the bank as I dug my hands into the grass below it, holding Emil tightly in the other arm as I tried to keep his head above the water. Mathias came to my aid, reaching his hand out to pull me up, struggling as he gripped onto my wrist as my feet slipped against the bottom of the ledge. I swung my leg over it, setting Emil off to the side as the Dane pulled me up, grunting as he stumbled back and I lay limp in the snow with my body swollen and numb. I breathed heavily as I coughed, bringing myself to Emil as I picked him up and slapped his cheeks lightly in an attempt to wake him up from unconsciousness.

"Emil…wake up Emil…please…" I whispered hoarsely, shaking him as tears streaked down my face, yet there was no movement or any sign of life coming from him. "Come on, Emil, please wake up…" I pushed against his chest gently yet desperately, as it didn't matter to me as this situation could end up in me losing my brother. It was times like these I had really wished I had paid more attention in health class while learning CPR…

Mathias pushed me to the side, feeling Emil's chest and neck as he shook his head, then pressing against it as well.

"I can't feel his pulse…" He said, repeating his actions once more.

_No…_

I was sobbing now, shaking so furiously I could barely hold the child in my arms, shaking him even harder now with no response, and every last bit of sense in me had been taken over by fear.

_This can't be the end for him…_

"Emil, please!"

"Lukas…he's not breathing…" Mathias said quietly, avoiding any eye contact with me as I turned to him, and I saw the sadness in his eyes as he stared at Emil and pushed the hair out of his eyes.

"No…no Mathias, he has to be breathing; he has to!"

Mathias shook his head. "Lukas…he's dead…"

* * *

><p><strong>…I feel like a terrible person for writing this chapter. But, to find out Emil's fate, the only way to know is by reading chapter 14!<strong>

**The next chapter I'm actually very excited to write, because it features one of my favorite scenes in the entire story, and is also a big turning point in it. The next upcoming chapters are going start getting a little more exciting, and from the length of the summary, are probably going to be quite a bit longer than the earlier ones. But, we'll just have to see.**

**I appreciate all the feedback very very much, and I hope you are having an awesome spring break so far! Updates may or may not be slow if stuff comes up, but as always that varies, so keep watch for chapter 14! ^^**


	15. Chapter 14: Fray

I'm so sorry I'm so late getting this chapter out! D: I've had absolutely no inspiration to write and lately, and, in all honesty, this chapter was easily the most difficult to write so far, so I had to redo it multiple times. …Plus I've learned never to write a chapter when I'm dead tired. But, as much of a pain in the ass as it was to write, I'm glad I finally got it finished so you all can see what happens next. ^^ Although I will warn you, even though it's long, this chapter has a lot going on, and a LOT of OOCness, so be prepared for the upcoming confusion that will be explained in the next and later chapters! Enjoy, and R&R!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia.**

* * *

><p><em>No.<em>

No word was any stronger at the moment as I prayed that it somehow held truth inside of this dark answer I wanted so badly to rid of. I was shaking so uncontrollably to the point where Emil had fallen from my arms and onto the snow, lying there lifelessly and helplessly…dead… Dead…it was such a word I dare not think of, yet in a situation like this, it was the only possible word I could use to describe Emil at the moment. I couldn't lose him like this…I just couldn't lose him…

"No, Mathias, he's not dead; he can't be dead!" I wailed, slapping my brother even harder this time without any sense of cautiousness for him coming before me, and Mathias attempted to take my hand before I slapped it away. "Tell me it's not true, Mathias!"

"Lukas…calm down…it going to be okay…" He whispered to me, yet I refused to listen to him.

"It's not going to be okay! He's dead; he's _dead_!" I screamed, wiping my eyes furiously as tears continued to pour out from them, and through the blur I saw the guilty expression of grief and sorrow suddenly hitting the Dane's face. He shifted his eyes to the ground as he turned away from me, and with that I put my focus back on Emil now, staring at his lifeless body and my thoughts began to race. Memories came flooding in; memories of how we'd survived these past two years with only the support of each other, with countless despair trying to hold us back as orphans with flames rising high and near starvation. There was no way I could give that all up…not after all we had been through…Not after giving everything I had to keep him with me. Especially when each of these memories brought back the haunting events the night I'd shattered the mirror of our bathroom and Kya was my only aid for survival…

I tucked a strand of the child's hair behind his ear and away from his eyes, my own tears slipping across his body as they fell from my eyes and onto his face, and I pulled him towards me in embrace as I sobbed, patting his back gently. "Emil…please don't go Emil…please…" I whispered, with no response. "I can't lose you, brother…"

Mathias's expression was tender and heartbroken, and he sighed in mourning without speaking just this once. This couldn't be true, it just couldn't! Nothing was so bitterly unfair than this; after everything I had been through already! It was selfish to only be thinking of my own loss at the moment…but right now, there wasn't much I could do to bring Emil back to me…

Yet that was where I was wrong.

A few light coughs came from behind me, gradually growing, and then the touch of liquid fell against my back as Emil vomited the river water caught in his lungs. He clutched onto my back with what little strength he had left in him, coughing and sobbing into my shirt. "E…Emil? You…You're alive…!"

"B-Brother…" He murmured, his sweet tears soaking my shirt as he sobbed, letting out harsh coughs and then more water followed. I shushed him, pulling him even closer to me as I continued to pat his back lightly, letting every last drop of liquid fall from my eyes until there were no more tears I be shed any longer.

"Shh~, Emil…you're safe now…it's okay…_det er greit_…" I whispered to him, my voice hushed and gentle, and his muffled wails caused me to flinch as his fingernails dug into my clothing and skin. "_Å takke Gud du er okay_…shh~, _ikke gråt_, Emil. I promise I'll give you a warm bath when we get back to the cave…"

Yet I didn't care anymore. All I wanted at the moment was this; to hold my brother in my arms in silence as we cried, rocking him gently as sudden a sudden flashback of the day I'd taken him to our parents' graves came upon me . What nostalgia that day held for me at the moment...it was ironic, almost.

…_So maybe they would be proud of me after all…_

* * *

><p>Emil was still shaking from the shock and fear still running through him by the time we had returned to the cave. He refused to speak, as did the rest of us, and a thick silence hung in the air surrounding us as I poured warm water against his back and scrubbed it gently. The child let out a soft cough, groaning as I ran my fingers through his hair, and the fire burned slowly behind us as its cracks caused him to flinch.<p>

What kind of brother was I, letting him run off on his own like that? It was technically my fault, as I'd been so caught up in my emotions to even think about what could happen to him. Mathias wasn't the only one at fault, as he had only wanted to check on me for a minute, and neither of us had a clue something like this would happen. It was me, really, who should have been more concerned for my brother's protection instead of some love-struck teenager only worrying about his own feelings.

Mathias…oh how he cared about me. Always worrying for my sake and wanting to protect me. At this moment, though, I hated his kindness…I wanted to rid of him and every damn bit of confusion he'd caused to slap me across the face. Yet I couldn't…there was no way I could find a way to leave the Dane. For Emil's sake, I had to stay, even if that meant holding a bitter grudge against him. Although right now, I had no reason. Blaming I wasn't going to get me anywhere with moving on…yet at the moment, I couldn't feel more guilty and horrible about the situation…

The Dane had given me one of his own shirts and pair of jeans to wear, as mine was soaking wet and unbearably uncomfortable to wear any longer, and although it was obscenely large on me, I found comfort and warmth with it engulfing my chilled body. I was drowning in his scent…that sweet musky scent of his that smelled so wonderful. Although being reluctant with it at first, I gladly took it, doing anything I could to prevent myself from slipping into hypothermia. As for Emil, his clothes were already setting on a rack above the fire to dry, as there was nothing we had that would ever fit him. But either way, size didn't matter; it was his own safety and warmth that I was most concerned about.

This was the first time not one of us dare break the silence, only sitting there in our awkward little pool of guilt, and with the water growing cool I pulled Emil out, wrapping him tightly in a fluffy towel as he snuggled against my chest, clinging to my shirt as he drifted off asleep. He had to have been exhausted from the struggle, with strong current wiping him I every which way. Even I was tired, finding myself slowly nodding off. Yet I managed to keep my eyes open, stroking my brother's damp hair as I dried it with a towel, pulling a blanket over as I felt him begin to shiver.

Rocking the child in my arms as I soothed him, I turned to Mathias, whose focus was on nothing but the fire in front of him. He was hugging his knees tightly as he rested his chin on them, sighing hard as he clenched his jeans. I'd never seen the Dane with this much uncomfortable tension...With this much sadness surrounding him. Yet what did he have to be saddened for; it wasn't his little brother who had nearly died. Then again, he was involved in the situation just as much as I was…

I gazed at him for a moment, watching as he sat there without a single movement, and everything seemed to sit still for a moment in this awkward serenity. Taking in his features, though, unable to bear seeing his glazy eyes and plastered frown, I set my brother gently on a pillow as he curled up on it, slowly moving closer to the runaway.

"Mathias…" I started, yet Mathias cut me off before I could say more.

"I'm so, so sorry, Norge. This is my fault…it's my fault Emil fell into that river…" He mumbled, never looking me in the eye as he spoke. His voice was raspy and crackling, as if he were about to cry.

I paused, waiting for some kind of comforting response to pop into my head. Usually, it was he who doing the comforting…and now it was just the opposite. I couldn't think of anything but insults for the Dane, of how idiotic he was…boastful…the epitome of obnoxious. Yet there was one thing I could manage to say out of pity.

"Mathias, it's not your fault…" I told him softly, moving closer to him with Mathias still sitting in the same position he had been for a while now.

He spoke. "I'm a failure, Norge. I should have been watching him…I should have been more concerned about what could have happened to him; what you'd feel like if he died…I'm a failure to you…"

For the first time since we'd met, I saw Mathias cry. Light tears spilt from his eyes as they trailed down his cheek, with the Dane not even bothering to brush them away. He only sat there with tears running down his face, in his own pity, and I couldn't help but at least feel sympathy for that. He wasn't just crying for Emil, nor himself, but for me. He was crying for he felt like he had hurt me…He was crying after seeing me in so much pain. Every tear the fell from his eyes were all for me…so why was I so confused? We both had the same feeling on the situation…we both felt at fault…

"No, Mathias, you're anything but a failure to me…" I said, attempting to raise my hand, yet Mathias moved back farther away from me with his hands covering his face, avoiding me as he not wanted not to have his pride shattered upon seeing his tears. He was sobbing now, his words coming out stuttered mumbles, and I stayed quiet as there was nothing more to say.

_Why does he care so much…why is he the one feeling like this?_

"I know I'm arrogant, and I know I'm selfish…but I can't help it…! If someone you cared about was standing right in front of you, wouldn't you go after them without thinking it through? I'm sorry…I'm sorry if you hate me now; you can blame me all you want. I just want you and Emil to stay…!"

I was taken aback by this, somewhat surprised by his words. I was just given a huge confession…so why couldn't I say anything more?

_No Mathias, I don't hate you…_

I could speak my mind and say everything I had realized this past week, yet I didn't. He thought I hated him…but that wasn't the case. Of course he got on my nerves just about every day, and he was indeed arrogant and selfish. Yet I found myself far from hating him, almost pitying it seemed, and that was all I could say.

"Mathias…I don't hate you…You're not a failure…" I said, setting my hand on his knee, yet he pushed it away.

"I am a failure, Lukas, why don't you understand that? How can you be so…so nonchalant about this…it's my fault and I won't take anything else for an answer!"

I was getting irritated now at his continuous denying. We both made mistakes…Why couldn't he accept that? I had to prove to him I didn't hate him…I had to prove to him I wanted to stay with him. More reasoning was getting nowhere, and I'd been fighting back tears since we stepped back into the cave. The only reason I'd actually managed to do it was not out of skill, put for Emil's sake of not getting scared. It wasn't that I didn't care…I just couldn't let my brother repeat my emotions.

There was anger in the soft blue of Mathias's eyes, and I knew it was all for himself. He needed to stop being so hard on himself…To take responsibility in actually knowing how to handle himself. Damn he had to have been oblivious to my attempted comforting, and being as awkward I was in this kind of situation, I couldn't do much more but to try to get him to snap back to his senses.

_Just take my damn feelings before I shove them down your throat…!_

"Mathias…"

"I'm a failure, Lukas…"

"Mathias…!"

"Just leave me be, Lukas, I've failed!"

"Mathias!"

"This is a once in a lifetime offer, Norge, now take it!"

"_Mathias_!"

That was the last straw. I couldn't take much more of this sulking of his as it had already reflected back on me. There was only one way to get him to shut up, and I knew that the second it happened there was no way I could take back any of the unknown events that were to follow. I grabbed hold of his shoulders, pulling him towards me before he could go on any further and kissed him, his eyes going wide and mine screwing shut. It was a brief kiss; nothing too far as it had gone before, yet it definitely got him to quit talking as I found the Dane kissing back, and seeing that he understand I broke away.

"You are not a failure, Mathias! Now when will you get that through your thick skull and stop making me feel this way!" I yelled, unable to hold back my bottled emotions any longer as tears leaked from my eyes, and seeing that sudden, heartbroken expression change on his face as he whispered my name only caused me to begin to shake. I couldn't contain all of this…all of this swirling stress and emotion. And brushing away Mathias's tears I embraced him, clinging to his shirt as he rested his head on my shoulder. His warmth…oh how it felt so wonderful to hold onto. It wasn't necessarily something I wanted at the moment, as we were both crying awkwardly into each other's shoulders, yet for some reason, awkward wasn't the only feeling that surrounded our tension. There was something else…something close to what seemed like comfort…

"Lukas…" He whispered, his voice so hushed it seemed barely audibly over his heavy sobbing. He held onto me tighter, pausing for a moment, before his next words caused me to go frozen. "…I...I love you…."

I realized right then that I had stopped breathing. My eyes went wide as I could do nothing more than sit there with my mouth half-open like some dumbstruck idiot not knowing what else to do with himself. Then again, that was basically what I was as I processed his words through my mind. Yet upon realization of his exact confession, I felt my heartbeat begin to pound senselessly in my chest as heated scarlet brushed against my cheeks. I released him slowly, staring at him with my face in awe, although I continued to hold onto his shoulders.

_Wow I'm dense…_

"Wait..wh…what did you just say?" I managed to ask in a mere whisper, mentally slapping myself at the stupidity of the comment, and I watched as his face changed from saddened to horrified after realizing his words, and hot blush burned against the bridge of his nose.

Mathias averted his eyes to the floor, placing his hand behind his head as he scratched it furiously, and he spoke. "I-I mean I love you face! A-And your bone structure, heh heh, I mean…" The Dane paused, sighing hard as his expression fell and the glimmer in his eye returned as he knew he couldn't win. "I…I love you…"

With that, he leaned up, pressing his lips gently against mine as he kissed me, and I could only continue to stare at him dumbfounded as he broke away. Damn I had to have been an idiot for not realizing it…either that or the fact that he actually admitted it was the part that shocked me so much. I knew he had quite a few feelings for me, yet I never realized it was that close to love. Maybe we were just so caught in the moment by our emotions that he said it without even thinking…that there was no meaning behind it. Yet I'd never convince myself to believe that…

I couldn't speak. There was nothing I could say to Mathias after hearing a confession like that; nothing I could do to change anything at all. I knew he could feel my heart pounding, with his hand pressed gently against my chest, and finally, I sighed.

"Just get some rest, Mathias…"

I stood up at that, sighing, and I went back to Emil as he slept contently next to the fire. I watched Mathias's face fall, and he sighed as I pulled up a blanket and continued leaning against the cave. He was so sure of himself that I was in love with him…yet it wasn't my fault that some things were left unsaid; I needed more experience in romance before saying something so rash. It wasn't my fault at all that I'd fallen so hard in denial of the Dane…

Stroking Emil's silvery tresses as silence set it, I noticed the wet streak of tears running down my face as I bothered not to wipe them away. And for the first time in two years, I realized I had more than just my brother now.

* * *

><p>The Norwegian morning air was crisp as I awoke the next morning, still resting in Mathias's clothing he had lent me to wear. Emil's had dried by, and I had dressed him, and to child had barely moved at all the entire rest of the day. He seemed to still be in shock over what happened, coughing lightly as he groaned, and I couldn't blame him. In fact, I was still trying to get over it myself! From that day forward I knew I'd never let him out of my sight, knowing that the cost of ever losing him again would just about kill me for good. His condition was only getting worse and worse as days grew short and nights lay long, yet the only thing I could do was protect and support him, loving him unconditionally and praying for that day to never come.<p>

The three of us didn't speak much that night, Mathias and I keeping a nice distance from each other, yet I caught the subtle glances he had given me with pity in his eyes as he looked to the floor and turned away.

Mathias Neiss was in love with me…it had a nice ring to it, I admitted. Yet there was something about his words that I couldn't quite compute; things I couldn't grasp completely. Almost as if I were denial, like we were so caught up in the moment that it had led him to admitting his bottled feelings. It wouldn't have surprised me if it were true, with his constant over-protectiveness hanging in an irking aura over my reluctance, although I never actually believed he'd admit it. So why couldn't I believe it? Why couldn't I just scream my own feelings to him? Maybe it was just us getting completely sick of each other that our exhaustion had led to such nonsense…

And here I was, going off into such deep rants of love. What an idiot I was…

I stretched, ruffling Emil's hair before getting up and throwing fresh rocks into the fire pit. And that's when Mathias came barreling into the cave, a huge grin marked across his face, and before I could even open my mouth to ask, words came flying out from him in every which way.

"NORGE…ELIZABETA…HOME…IT'S OURS!" He screamed so quickly in something I could only call euphoria, stumbling over to me as he began shaking my shoulders viciously.

"Slowly, Mathias! What's going on; why are you freaking out?" I asked, pushing him off of me as I placed my hand over my chest and raised an eyebrow.

The Dane was grinning like mad, in so much excitement to the point where he couldn't even speak. He breathed heavily, composing himself, and spoke. "Elizabeta said she could hook us up with an apartment since a family just moved out! We'll have to pay rent and everything, but she said she could also talk to her manger about getting us jobs in downtown Oslo! I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner; I mean, I already knew she knew I was a runaway long before I even met you, but I never actually believed I'd ever get a deal like this. Isn't this great, Norge, now we can finally live somewhere!"

My eyes went wide, jaw falling to the floor at his words. An apartment…a place we could finally call home. If anything, I should have been as excited as Mathias at that moment. After all, he hadn't lived in a real home for over two years, and I desperately needed a place to raise Emil properly that wasn't so run-down as a cave in the wilderness of the Norwegian mountains. Yet I was completely shocked, mostly by the fact that we'd been offered such a once-in-a-lifetime chance to start a new future.

"Mathias…are you serious?"

"Do you think I'd be kidding about something like this?"

I paused. "…Yes…"

Mathias grabbed hold of my shoulders once more, crouching down to my level as he sat and looked me in the eye. There was such a glimmer of hope in his eyes…so wanting and pleading for me to accept. It almost pained me to see that rare look in Mathias's eyes…

"Lukas, we have to take this. We might never get the chance of finding a real home ever again and will end up being stuck out here for the rest of our lives! It'll be best for us to start fresh again and forget our pasts…"

I thought about it for a moment, pausing. Yet I declined the offer.

"We can't do that, Mathias. We're both minors, they won't let us live on our own like that."

"That's the thing; we won't have to wait long! I turn eighteen in June, so we'll only have to wait for a few more months! We can earn our money by working during that time, and then we'll have enough to pay for food and stuff."

"But how will we pay the monthly rent? Combining the water, electricity, and phone, plus food will cost us much more than what we actually have. There's no way we're ever going to be able to pay that much in just a month! When it was just Emil and I, our neighbors helped us pay the mortgage. I worked three jobs, nearly had to drop out of school, and all three companies ended up going out of business. It's not as easy as it looks, Mathias. You can't be naïve…"

Mathias face fell, his brow furrowing at bit. "I'm not being naïve…I just thought we'd be able to finally have a home…Don't you want Emil to be happy?"

I was angered as well now, pushing him away as I got to my feet, and began pacing around the room.

"But you are! Can you be anymore unreasonable?" I paused, taking in a deep breath. "I want a home too, and I want to raise Emil as best I can in a safe environment. But we don't even have jobs; we don't know where we're going. If we could maybe find an abandoned warehouse or something then we could probably settle there…but that seems a little risky."

A long pause set in at that, Mathias fiddling with his fingers as I looked towards him. There was a long frown resting on his face, and he sighed, but the Dane turned to me.

"What about Elizabeta? Maybe if we did some bargaining she could let us stay at her house…"

"I thought you said her family was over for the holidays…and that she has a crazy neighbor." I paused when another thought hit me. "Wait, you've been out here for two years haven't you? Why didn't you just ask her then?

He shrugged. "I didn't really know her that well back then. She's only been working at the market for a few months." He turned to me then, scowling now. "You always turn down my ideas. Quit treating me like an idiot."

I snorted. "That's because you're too unreasonable. We're in the middle of a forest, it's nearly freezing outside, and we have to ration our food and necessities. We can't just jump to conclusions, Mathias, we have to think smart if we've ever going to survive! Did you ever consider the fact that if we leave this cave for good and end up on the streets again that we'd lose this place and have to live in the cold so we can starve and freeze to death?"

There was a harsh silence that settled across the room, me breathing heavily as Mathias only sat there without saying a word, taken aback as he groaned and shifted his eyes to the burning coals of the fire. I chuckled a bit, darkly, turning to him in mockery. "What happened to the Mathias Neiss that was desperately in love with me?"

The Dane stood up at that, throwing a sack over his shoulder and he trudged out of the cave. He was angry, now…unusual for the typically cheerful Mathias whom brushed off every insult I'd thrown at him so far. I cocked an eyebrow, opening my mouth to speak, yet his words came before mine.

"What if I told you I was lying?"

I heard nothing more from him as he disappeared into the woods, and I found myself only able to sit there in awe with my mouth hanging open. That hurt.

* * *

><p>I refused to speak to Mathias. My bag was slung around my shoulder, and his sack was slung around his, yet we walking his silence with a barrier of tension surrounding us, and Emil clutched onto my hand. He could steal every damn thing in the market if he wanted to, but by no means would I be associated with his actions. I still had leftover money from when my brother and I escaped from our house, so it would be what I used to pay. I couldn't have another round of my job as a thief cost me anymore with what little we had, especially if that meant us losing our cave and getting thrown out to the streets. I wondered how Mathias had been able to survive for so long without getting caught; he sure looked a bit suspicious with a sack hanging over his shoulder and tattered clothing…Come to think of it, I barely knew anything about Mathias at all…<p>

I was supposed to be in love, yet I was doing a hell-of-a-bad job at it. What are you supposed to do when you're in love, I wondered; what's it even like to be in love? I was so inexperienced and knew so little that such simple thoughts could pop into my mind so easily. To confess or not to confess, I wondered, or just let my little container of hidden feelings overflow and overwhelm me.

"_What if I told you I was lying?"_

I didn't know why those words hurt as much as they did, but they did. A lot. It was unusual for me to even fall for such an idiot in the first place, and as much as I hated to admit it, I truly was happy when the Dane told me he loved me. …Maybe. The situation was confusing enough as it was when you've never had a first love. Even Kya was only a mere one-sided crush. …Maybe. I didn't want to think anymore.

"Lukas…"

His voice seemed darker than usual, and I raised an eyebrow as I turned to him. I didn't like that side of Mathias…the one I'd hardly ever even seen before…

"I'm not stealing this time…"

"It ain't about that." He huffed. "…you know, you've got some nerve being all snarky like this. I could just so easily kick you out."

My brow furrowed. "Like you'd ever do it."

There was no reply for several seconds, only uncomfortable silence, and he spoke. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Norge. More things than you can count with your ass." His voice was softer now. I sensed a dark path from him.

"Like what?" I asked, and he sighed.

"Like where I've come from; why I ran away. You don't even know the whole story behind why I even mugged you in the first place. Heh, you know absolutely nothing…Sindre…"

What the hell was he talking about?

"Sindre? What?" I'd never heard that name before; I knew nobody with it. Was he going mad?

Mathias face immediately shifted into dismay, it draining a sickly pale white, and he sped up ahead of me without responding. He was hiding something from me…I could tell just from looking at his face. "Mathias, stop! What are you talking about; who's Sindre?"

"Just don't worry about it, Norge! You'll find out soon!"

Soon? What did he mean by that? There was no explanation as to why Mathias was being so mysterious lately! I called after him, yet he would not respond. Emil's little feet couldn't keep up with mine as I began to pick up my pace and go after him. Was it a new friend he wanted to introduce me to? Elizabeta's boyfriend? No; that was a straightforward message towards me. But why the hell…?

"Elizabeta, we need to talk to you!" Mathias said, slamming his hands with such force on the checkout stand as her eyes grew wide and she jumped. "Lukas and I have a proposition to make with ya!"

She moved back a bit, raising an eyebrow at him as she continued scrubbing down the counter. "O…kay?

"Norge I and wanna stay with ya! Well, at least when your family goes back to Hungary when the holidays are over." He let out a long sigh, continuing with shaky breaths. "We've been living out in a cave all winter, Liz. Luke's little brother is sick, it's freezing cold out there, and there's not much more we can do. We'll fill in shifts for you if you want, and do whatever you want for us to do for ya. But please…I don't wanna watch him bein' all scared all the time when Emil's growing up in such a tattered place…"

What was he telling her just now? Had he not already mentioned to her about his home even after two year? The Dane's words struck me, and I turned to Elizabeta with blush on my cheeks as I nodded and mimicked Mathias's pleading look. I felt almost guilty having to do this; putting so much pressure on the cashier. She couldn't have been any older than a college student, so it had to be hard enough as it was. I wanted a home…I wanted a home so badly. Yet I never wanted to be a burden.

Elizabeta opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, thinking over her words as she set the cleaning bottle off to the side.

"Mathias…where is all of this coming from?" She asked him softly, confused, and then shot a look at me. There was no way I could help her.

Mathias sighed once more. "Look, we-."

"I…"

He grunted. "Lukas figured it out, and…we wouldn't even be able to keep up with a place like that having no money to begin with. I won't even be eighteen until June…But we promise that we'll help pay for everything!" His eye held a shimmering blue, wanting, and I wondered exactly how he was capable of pulling off such bullshit and making it sound the slightest bit believable.

_What the hell is he doing…? Didn't he just say thirty minutes ago that he wasn't in love with me?_

This Dane confused me.

It was Elizabeta's turn to sigh now. "Mathias…I don't know…I mean, I have school, and we'd have to find you guys jobs, and…-"

"Um, excuse me, but…have you seen either of these two boys?"

Those were the last words I heard before my mind went completely blank upon seeing Elizabeta being handed a picture resembling Emil and me, her jaw falling to the floor, and mine following in unison. There was no color left in my face by then, just a pale, sheet white, and I dare not turn to face the girl speaking. After all, she either to have been tired as hell or had a terrible memory not to remember the boy she'd been living next to for two years.

_T…No it can't be. That can't be Kya's voice. There's no way that's Kya's voice…Why would she be all the way over here? Why is she looking for us?_

"Lukas?" Kya said, grabbing hold of my shoulders as my head jerked around and I was now facing her, eyes wide and body frozen. I met her eyes as she squeaked and bottom began to quiver, her hands shaking so violently as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Oh God Lukas, why?"

There were no words I was capable of mustering as the only sound I could let out sound of that of a choking bird. I could not cry, nor could I rejoice. I only stood there in awe as she sobbed, never taking her eyes off of me. Kya's voice…Kya's sweet, sweet voice. Oh how I missed it. Yet, for some reason, there was nothing I feared more at the moment than hearing her voice.

There was no response from Mathias.

"Miss Kya?" Emil said, poking his head through my legs as he looked up at her.

At that, I began to cry. Out of the complete blue, and for no apparent reason, I began to cry.

And I pushed her away.

I grabbed hold of Mathias hand, scooping up Emil in the other as I took off towards the woods through the herd of people walking down the street. The last I heard from Kya was her voice calling out my name one last time as she cried for me, yet the girl did not follow after me. I figured Elizabeta was trying to hold her back.

Through a blur of green and white and my own bitter tears, I sobbed. My fingernails dug into Mathias's palm as I dragged him back to our cave, running so fast I had nearly stumbled my own feet. Why was I crying; why couldn't I bring myself to hug back? Yet most of all, why did I push her away?

"_It would be too much of a burden to stay there. They already have their own problems to worry about."_

I remembered my words; the words I said to Emil the night of the fire. I couldn't tell if it was for my will or in my mind's own involuntary power, but those words were why I shoved my old friend away when I would have normally been in a state of euphoria seeing her face again. They were why I almost never wanted to see her face again…because I loved her so much I refused to ever be a burden. And I hated myself for being so paranoid over it.

"What the hell was that for, Norge? Why are you crying?" Mathias asked bitterly, panting as he stopped me just before I could set foot in the cave. Emil squirmed his way out from my grip and headed inside.

I was coughing hoarsely as my pants came out in shaky sobs, unable to control myself as I feel to the ground even as the Dane crouched to my level and looked me in the eye. "Norge…why are you crying…?"

"I…" I couldn't contain all of this emotion. I didn't even know why I was crying! "I know that girl, Mathias! I know her! I know her!"

"Then why the hell did you push her? We could have had her come stay with us so we wouldn't be so lonesome anymore!"

"I…I can't. I'm already a burden enough to they're family; I can't live like that anymore." I let out a choked sob, continuing. "When Emil and I left, we left so that we could start over and have a fresh beginning. You even said you wanted to start over, and that's exactly what we've been trying to do! I don't want to reflect on the past anymore, Mathias! I want these memories to go away!"

Mathias didn't speak. He only sat there beside me, caressing my cheek as I cried, and I rested my head on his shoulder as he held me. The Dane ran his finger through my hair, stopping at one point, and whispered a haunting question into my ear.

"Norge…where's your hair pin?"

I immediately bolted upright, pushing him away as I got to my feet, frantically searching my hair for the beloved Nordic cross pin that rested in it. Yet I felt no signs of it, not even when ruffling my hair. And that's when my stomach dropped.

"Oh God…my pin! Mathias, I need that pin; I can't lose it! My parents gave that pin to me!" I told him, panicking as I scanning that ground for any signs of a small golden hue, yet I saw nothing. Mathias dug around in the snow as well as I ran towards our footprints, but all I saw was nothing but pure white.

"What's the big deal, Norge? We'll just find another one at a thrift store or something…" He mumbled, still looking around, and I jerked back around at his words.

"Mathias…do you even _know_ how important that thing is to me? It's one of the last things I have left of my parents!" I told him, anger poking out from the sternness in my voice, and he only shrugged.

"Parents aren't even important anyway." With that, he yawned, stretched, and headed inside as he scratched the back of his head.

I could only scowl at him for that; not a scowl of annoyance, nor denial, but a scowl of pure and utter hatred. What was this sudden change in him? There were times when I loved Mathias so much I could barely even bring myself to believe it, yet there were other times where I hated him with such deep passion. This was one of those times.

There were about a thousand more things I was completely confused about at the moment, and about a thousand more things I didn't know about Mathias Neiss.

"Inconsiderate bastard…"

* * *

><p><strong>WOW this chapter turned out <em>FAR <em>different from how it was originally planned. And it turned out overwhelmingly long...but when split, it just seemed too short and rushed. Also, p****lease excuse my poor Norwegian, I'm still learning. XD This chapter, since I'm not as pleased as I wanted to be with turn-out, I may or may not redo it at one point, but after having to go back and rewrite is several times, I'm sticking with this for now. Again, I'm very sorry for not posting anything for almost a month; I almost felt bad after having left the story off on such a harsh cliffhanger like that. I hope this makes up for it! ****A lot is going on in this chapter, so if you have any questions concerning it or confusion, let me know so I can help. I hope the end didn't seem too rushed since I had to chop out some parts for the sake of time and length. ^^'**

**Chapter fifteen I know for a fact is, like this, going to be extremely eventful and most likely extremely long, but it will explain everything a lot better than this one did, so be prepared for that! I'll try to have it out much earlier than I did with this one. Again, thanks so much for the feedback; I appreciate and love hearing what all you have to say about the story so I can make it even better! And happy belated Easter to you all! ^^**


	16. Chapter 15: Guardian Angel

What? Is VC actually updating her fic? After a year-long hiatus, I figured it was finally the time to update this damn thing. And let me just say I am so, SO sorry for the excruciatingly long wait I put you guys through.

As for the story itself, I'm cutting out a significant amount of filler chapters for the sake of time, mostly because for this chapter in specifics I completely rewrote the plot and felt an earlier end would be necessary. This will also be my last Hetalia fanfic for quite a while, possibly forever. I'm sorry, guys, but I'm just not really into the Hetalia fandom anymore since I've joined so many other fandoms over the past couple of months. I really do appreciate you guys for staying with me for this long. So, enjoy, and R&R! :D

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Axis Powers: Hetalia or its characters.**

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><p>I ended up dreaming of Mathias, finally. It was a sweet dream; I slept soundly with Emil at my side nuzzled against my chest. We ended up buying that apartment that rested in northern Olso, nursing my brother back to health as he grew to live a normal and happy childhood. Our parents spoke to me as if they were still walking on this planet.<p>

All of it, though, turned out to be reality's sense of distraction, and I awoke that morning with profound grogginess as dawn peaked through the blur of my vision. Mathias was nowhere to be seen as I rubbed my eyes, groaning as I got to my feet.

"Mathias? Are you there?" With there being no response, I figured he'd just gone out "shopping" again, but from what I could see as I turned to our pile to pick out breakfast, we really were in need of some fresh food. All that remained was a collection of empty water bottles, a few muffins with mold growing from them, and not even half a stick of butter.

I sighed, not even considering thinking about how long he'd been gone or where he had gone to; from the looks of it, it couldn't have been for more than an hour. Emil still slept soundly next to our dried firewood with a stream of smoke raised above it, cuddling with Mr. Puffin against the rocks. His condition was holding up to an extent, yet he was still frail and feeble in his actions. I'd been watching over him even closer than before, with virtually all trust for Mathias having vanished the day before.

My pin was still gone. I'd made helpless effort to find it, having to watch over Emil, and the exhaustion that had encompassed my limbs with fatigue refused to allow me to waste any of the precious energy I had left looking for it. Mathias seemed healthy. He was out and about. I wouldn't even be able to fathom my own shock if he actually went out and found it in the vast, thick whiteness that coated the land.

As if on cue, a sudden bang erupted from the side of the cave, breaking the tranquility with its booming echo, and there was Mathias barreling into the cave with an array of various can and food items falling from out of his grip. His face glowed with a rosy tint from the cold, and before I could even ask he was frantically running around our "home", kicking things off to the side as if to hide them.

I sighed, aggravated by his bold intrusion. "Mathias, do I even need to ask?" I mumbled, turning towards my brother to see if he was still asleep. Surprisingly, our roommate's noisiness had not yet awoken him from his slumber, a content smile curling across his face.

Mathias turned to me, his eyes wide with horror dismay as he kicked another bag to the back of the cave.

"They found me."

"You're going to wake Emil."

"Norge, they found me! Do you even understand how bad this situation is right now?"

I groaned. "Considering I have no idea what you're talking about right now, I'm not sure if you're just exaggerating to freak me out so you can do some sort of mistletoe prank on me."

Another bag flew across the cave, making a loud thud as it hit the solid ground. Emil woke up.

"Can you just listen to me for one second, Lukas?!" Mathias hissed, his eyes flaming with so many emotions of trouble it was hard for even me to think his words were anything trivial. My name. He said first name. "They found me. The social workers that run this lame little family home, they caught me stealing this morning. There are posters of me everywhere, it's ridiculous!"

Immediately, my throat tightened along with my stomach, and it seemed as if all the life in me had been sucked by the intensity of Mathias's words. The posters. Kya. If Mathias ran away to a place where he knew nobody would recognize him, it had to have been Kya who set out a search party. It couldn't be anybody else. But why would she do it so late?

I spoke, fists clenched as they matched my drained face. "What do you _mean_ social workers found you?" I said, not meaning to sound as harsh as I did. I was scared; not only for myself and Emil's well-being, but also for Mathias. Even if I was reluctant to admit it, I was scared for Mathias. And now, a new set of questions arose that I knew would set me even farther apart from the Dane.

"Norge I-." He stopped. "Norge I'm so sorry. I'll explain everything later, but for now I really need you to talk them out of taking me back to the home. I can't go back there, Norge! I don't want you and the kid to have to go through that!"

_Back?_

Mathias's expression was desperate, pleading, as he got down to my level and clasped his hands onto my shoulder. This was not the cheeky, bold Mathias I had met what seemed like years ago. This was a different side of Mathias I had never seen before; a side that, like his seriousness, terrified me.

_What's "back"?_

I hesitated, turning to Emil who was now beginning to wake up, rubbing his tired eyes and yawning the sleep away, obviously as equally confused as I was, if not more.

"Lukey, what's going on? Why do you look so scared," he said, and that's when I knew this was real. I had to do everything in my power to protect my brother.

I crouched to his level, stroking his hair as I gently rested his head back onto his pillow. "Shh, go back to sleep Emil. We're just going to talk to some people for a minute."

Mathias was restless, nervously fidgeting with his hands and licking his lips. How could a shelter be so bad, let alone worse than a small, open cave in the middle of the Norwegian winter with little supplies and food? Then again, Mathias had a reputation for doing stupid and reckless things. There had to be some kind of catch.

I lifted the curtain hanging over the entrance of the cave, the wind biting at my bare ears and hands. I'd left my coat and gloves inside, unprepared for Mathias's surprise panic attack and our arrest. Yet the chill immediately dissolved upon seeing the social workers, the company name written in Norwegian on the side of their uniforms as well as their nametags. Beside them, was a young girl being devoured by a bright yellow parka with her dark hair tied neatly into a bun. Kya.

My face drained in horror, unable to comprehend the situation all at once. How did Kya even find us after we'd covered our tracks from the day before? Why would she bring social workers if she knew it was us in the first place? I turned to Mathias, a look of scattered emotions making up his face as he stood stiff, like a board of wood. Apparently that was what was making up most of my face as well.

Kya's face was dewy and moist, and I could tell she had been crying heavily. "Mathias…it's you," she whispered, emitting a puff of hair that dissolved against her reddened cheeks. "Oh my God I can't believe you're alive."

She flung herself into his chest, to Mathias surprise as he did not hug back and turned to me in a moment of confusion.

"I'm sorry, but…I don't believe we've ever met before," he said, and she lifted her head in disbelief, sniffling. And that's when it hit him. His expression changed dramatically, and he grasped hold of her cheeks and kissed her forehead, speaking in Danish to her. "_Søster...du er i live og sunde_... _Hvor er Mor og Far?"_

"_De er væk". _She Danish was muffled, so I could not make it out of understand it._ Men jeg er her nu."_

Kya then turned to me, choking out my name before clinging to the back of my shirt, and I hugged her back, although I didn't want to. The confusion wanted me to push her away, to tell her to go home and never return. None of this made any sense.

She laughed as she stared at me. "Damnit Lukas," she said, and then she hugged me again. It felt weird smelling girl, if that's even considered a scent. She smelled like rosemary and peppermint and cinnamon. The scent pleased me, although it was not as soothing as Mathias's own scent.

"Kya, what are you doing here? How do you know Mathias," I uttered, still holding onto her.

The girl looked up at me, slightly offended. "How do _you_ know Mathias? Lukas, Mathias is my brother. You know, that one we've been looking for for over two years? You don't remember him?"

And then, it clicked. I knew why I liked his smell so much, and his presence, and in my subconscious did not reject him. It hadn't ever occurred to me before, but Mathias was familiar; he was familiar because he was close to Kya, and thus close to me. If I'd ever met him before, it must have been brief for me to forget his face. It was over two years ago.

"Wait…Mathias, I thought you said your last name was Neiss?"

"I lied; it's my mom's maiden name. I figured that since I'm on my own I should have a different name, but I never figured that my family…" he paused, swallowing hard. "I never thought my family would be alive and looking for me."

I glared, bothered by his lie, yet I pushed it to the back of my mind as he had done as he walked over to Kya and I. "Kya, I'm still not sure how you know him, but this is Lukas, my-"

"Friend. Only friends. Nothing more," I said, cutting him off. Kya gave me a suspicious eyebrow.

"Look, we'll have time to talk later, but we need to get you guys out of here. Where's Emil?"

"He's still sleeping, over in the cave." I pointed to the entrance of our "home".

Mathias's expression changed abruptly, stopping Kya before she could begin walking towards the cave. "We're not leaving. This is our home now, Kya."

She gave him a puzzled look. "Mathias, you don't honestly think you can live out here, right? It's not safe; you could get all kinds of sick from being out here too long! We want to take you guys to a shelter until we can get the whole situation straightened out. Mom and Dad are away in Denmark, so you'll be able to come home and be there until they get back. As for Lukas and Emil…" she turned to us, suddenly saddened. "I'm not sure what's going to happen, but we'll try to figure out something."

"I'm not leaving Lukas."

"Mathias-"

"He and Emil can stay with us. Why do they have to stay in some shitty hellhole and I don't?"

"I've _tried_ to reason, Mathias, but we can't because they don't have legal guardians! They have to stay somewhere safe so a loving family can adopt them, at least for now. Mathias I've spent the last two years grieving over _you_ with those two boys, so trust me, I'm not happy about this either, but the social workers aren't changing their minds anytime soon. I'll try to work something out."

I could feel the hurt in her voice, her tone standing tall like a wall of stone, yet stinging with sadness and burden. I guess that's how I was feeling, as well.

"Kya, Mathias is right. We never agreed to this," I told her.

Kya frowned. "Lukas, I know you want the best for your brother, so shouldn't he be able to stay somewhere warm? It's not safe out here and you know it."

I turned to see on one of the social workers finally speak up. "Besides, you two are too young anyway. You're only sixteen and your brother is only four. By law we have to take you in." He turned to Mathias. "As for you, we need to question you on a few things and trial you for stealing. It should be brief, but there will be consequences."

The desolation in Mathias's expression as apparent and strong, and he shook his head with a quivering lip. Yet it wasn't his questionable actions that he was distressed about, but rather, it was something much for evident as he clasped on my hand and squeezed my fingers until they'd gone numb.

"I'm not letting you take him from me, or Emil. I love you Kya, you know I do, but these two have been more of a family than Mom and Dad have ever been to me."

"Mathias!" Kya shrieked.

"_No!_ I'll be eighteen in less than six months, so there's no point to it anyway!"

His voice trembled with anger, radiating from his body to mine, yet dazed fear conquered over it. I had missed Kya and home badly, and more than anything I wanted Emil to grow up somewhere safe, but I didn't know what to make of the whole thing. Kya had changed; she'd grown tired with emotions and refused to fight anymore, as had I until now. Mathias, though, was fresh with enthusiasm, even after just meeting us. I didn't know what to do.

Suddenly, the curtain to the entrance of the cave opened, and a small head popped through. Emil, upon seeing Kya, shrieked with joy, waddling over to her as fast as his little legs could muster. She held out her hands to catch him.

"Miss Kya, I missed you," he said, with that little lisp of his. A pang of guilt washed over me.

"It's so good to see you again, Emil. We've been very worried about you and your brother for that past weeks," Kya cooed, pressing her face into his hair as he giggled happily. "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Mathias is nice because he gives us food and makes Brother's face go all red whenever he sees him," he said, and I sneered at Mathias's beaming face.

Kya pursed her lips, then found a way to smile again. "Well, Emil, we're going to take you and Lukas to a really nice place with lots of food for you to eat. Aren't you cold out here?" He nodded. "It's going to be warm where we're taking you, so you don't have to worry. You can bring Mr. Puffin with you, too."

Emil beamed, clinging onto his favorite toy, and then he said something that made my entire body go numb.

"Are we going home, Miss Kya? Do we get to go back home now," he asked, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

His words triggered a quick expression change in Kya, and she turned to me in worried panic. What was she supposed to tell him, that we're going to a dirty shelter home and leaving Mathias behind? You can't just tell a child that, especially somebody Emil's age. So she didn't; she instead told him exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Yeah. You and Lukas are going home."

At that, the numbness of my body suddenly began to liquefy in a swirling muddle of dismay and inner upheaval, and I couldn't help but let the tears fall at will. She lied, and I was tired. There was nothing left to save anymore.

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><p><strong>(AN): I don't know why I struggled with this chapter so much, but my ADD caused it to turn into a haphazard concoction of irrelevance. I apologize for that, but hopefully the next chapters will make more sense. I've been re-reading the older chapters all night to try to figure out where this thing was going, but fifteen chapters later I've had no luck, so this chapter will probably be edited in the future due to the mass array of errors it currently contains. **

**Again, as a writer I cannot thank you guys enough for the support and feedback over the past years. Reading what you guys have to say always makes my day, and encourages me to continue writing in the first place. Every single one of you guys are great and awesome and I hope you find 100 dollars on the ground. Chapter 16 will hopefully be out soon with less chaos, but no promises you be made. Thanks again! ^^ -V**

**Danish translations: "_Søster...du er i live og sunde_... _Hvor er Mor og Far?" -Sister...you're alive and healthy...Where is Mother and Father?_**

**_"_De er væk" -They are away.__**

**___"Men jeg er her nu" -but I am here now.___**

**___(I apologize if there are any errors in my translation. Danish is not my first language...or second...so I had to use a translator. If you spot any errors, feel free to tell me and I'll correct it! ^^)___**


	17. Chapter 16: Think of Me

For more information as to why I'm a shitty updater, visit the author's note at the end of the chapter. For now, enjoy the sixteenth chapter of the atrocity I haven't touched in almost a year.

**DISCLAIMER: Y'all know I don't own Hetalia why do I even bother with the disclaimer.**

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><p><em>2 months later.<em>

The sky was dark, everything else was dark. There was a dimming light that flickered above the air shaft like a dying candle breathing its last breath before it finally died and seized to bring any more light to the large corridor. The scent of potatoes and old soup wafted from the kitchen from the other side of the room, though the thick metal gate obscured any sight of what would be tomorrow's lunch. Emil was seated beside me, sleeping, the rhythm of his breath and humming snores like a symphony among the noisy springs of the cot, tattered from the many winters it had withstood.

I had not seen Mathias in two months, nor Kya, nor the social workers. That afternoon in December was that day that everything changed for Emil and I- we were not taken home and we were not adopted by the Kohlers, but instead we were sent to the local homeless shelter that homed gypsies, the homeless, as expected, and other adolescent runaways.

It was the longest car ride of my, that car ride to the shelter. I had not been in a car for many long, passing years and the leather cushioning my frozen ass felt foreign and strange. Breaking the news to Emil had been the most difficult task of the journey. "Where are we going, brother? I hope we're going home," he said, and I replied saying "No, Emil, we're not going home. We're going to live with other runaways." "Why," he asked, and I very carefully and softly explained to him why we had left Mathias' runaway home. He cried "Why, Lukey? Why aren't we going to live with Miss Kya?" and in the softest whisper I could muster I replied "Because we're being punished". It wasn't until then that I realized I, too, had tears nigh to spilling over my cheeks, and I was shaking so visibly the driver had to pull over so I could vomit in the snow.

Yes, we were being punished. It was the only way I could put it, even by sugarcoating the situation to my little brother. We were being punished because we were runaways and we had stolen food in a small town and I had fallen in love with a Danish idiot that I would never see again.

That idiot, Mathias. Before we were taken away, he pulled me aside and brought me close, slipping a small object into the sleeve of my overcoat. "Think of me," he said, before pressing a fierce kiss to my forehead and fleeing into the winter. That was the last I- or anybody else, from what I knew- had ever seen or heard of him. For all I knew, he could be dead. The thought brought a heavy, aching sting to my chest. It would take me two long months to break away from his spell and let him go; it would take two long months to even admit I missed him.

I had been so reluctant, so selfish toward the Dane to admit how I felt; it had occurred that I would never have the chance to do so and my chest ached. For many nights I cried over Mathias- I wanted to see him an embrace him and tell him how much I missed him and kiss him with such passion I didn't even know I could contain at such a capacity. One does not realize they are in love until that love is put to the test, and I had just begun to realize that as Emil and I made the shelter our new home. I was a fool for holding back.

When we first arrived at the shelter, it was night. Gray clouds and white snow littered the sky, a blank wall of pure blackness. I held Emil's hand that entire night, and we did not movie. I was not expecting them to bring us to a homeless shelter- why bring a couple of orphans to a homeless shelter when you could bring them to, I don't know, and orphanage? "All the orphanages are full at the moment," Kya had told me. "The closest one around here is up north, and it would take days to make it by car." The car ride felt like days, though, crammed in a tiny seat with a broken little boy sobbing into my chest. The shelter was just west of Oslo in Drammen, which was significantly larger in comparison to Mathias' small village. Oslo had habituated me to the rush of city bustle, but I did not like Drammen. It was not like Mathias' village, which was warm and homey with friendly people whom I had never spoken to before in my life.

When we arrived, we were greeted by two runaways my age named Toris and Feliks, who had assumedly escaped from Moscow and came to Norway to find new happiness. They were not hippes, per se…but they were definitely hippies. They were very friendly and welcoming, did not speak Norwegian or English well, and I shed my reticence and began to open up to them. Feliks, who was blond and called himself a "flaming homosexual", was the more eccentric of the two, whereas Toris was my shy and sweat a lot. They were my friends, and I liked them.

It was on that night two months later that a strange feeling had begun to grow in my belly. It was not warm, and it was not cold; it was not sour and it was not unsettling. It was just strange. Very, very strange. I rose from the cot after another minute of tossing and turning and covered Emil with the crocheted blanket the facility had provided us with. The movement woke Toris.

"Lukas? Where ya headed?" He asked, sleep thick in his voice. He had a very strong Lithuanian accent, and it was difficult to understand him when he was groggy.

I quieted him. "I'm just going outside to smoke."

"May I come with?"

"I thought you didn't smoke."

"I would like to try it, if it doesn't mind you."

I smiled. "Just don't tell Feliks.

We made our way into the darkness of the night. Drammen was still encased in a heavy layer of fresh snow, but for the most part the roads were clear and the south had begun to bloom with spring flowers. I pulled the lighter from my pocket and took a long drag from the cigarette between my fingers. Nobody in the facility knew I had such a thing, the smoke or a lighter- we were not allowed to carry such things as minors, or even as adults. Nobody knew except for Feliks, Toris, and my conscience.

"You have to take it slow if you don't want to choke," I told him, releasing a puff of smoke into the frosty air. "don't act try to act like a pro on the first try."

I handed the cigarette over to Toris, the life of the tobacco ignited like a beating heart, steady and distinct against the contrasting blackness. He raised the cigarette to his lips nervously, inhaling the smoke and immediately going into a coughing fit.

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "I told you to take it slow."

"I tried," he breathed in between coughs. "I guess I've got a long way to go if I want to be like you."

After a while his lungs had finally settled and he handed the cigarette back to me, which I took a few more drag from behind crushing it into the bare snow with my boot. I took out another, ignited it, and watched it come to life as my lungs stung with nicotine and smoke.

We stayed silent for a long time, watching the sky as clouds passed over our heads and migrated with the sky. My ears had begun to grow numb when Toris finally broke the silence.

"Do you ever think about him?"

I turned to him, more quickly as I anticipated as the tip of the cigarette touched my skin.

"Shit," I hissed, stomping on it before pressing my lips to my burned finger, saliva running over the wound. "I assume you mean Mathias."

He nodded, and I sighed, looking back toward the sky again. "Sometimes I do. I don't want to."

I had him and Feliks about my short-lived affair with Mathias a few days after arriving. They had been pestering me to tell them why I had been brought to the shelter, and when I had finally had enough I poured them each a glass of my humility whilst Emil was off playing with the other shelter children. It brought comfort to me when the two laughed and told me they were lovers- I had nothing to worry about with them. I was safe.

Toris spoke after a long time. "I used to think Feliks and I weren't going to make it, when we fled from Russia. I left my two brother behind and took only the clothes on my back and Feliks with me. We had had enough with our landlord, and finally left. We endured much hardship on the way to Oslo. There were many times I thought I was going to die on that ship. I felt like I was in the movie _Titanic._"

I chuckled. "You're comparing your trip to a chick-flick?"

"I-I know it was a real event," he stammered. "but it was the love story that made it feel like the movie. Between Feliks and I."

Hearing him speak about his lover in such a way made my chest ache for Mathias. A sharp pain shot through me, and my heart began to speed up. A love story. A sinking ship. One of us dies, the other lives. It was a thought I would never be able to stomach.

More silence.

Then a noise; a rustle.

"What was that?" I said, my focus now sharp with caution as I scanned the area. There was nothing except for the blackness.

"It's probably just wind or a creature in the garbage," Toris said quickly. "It is nothing."

Then, more silence.

"It's cold," I finally said.

"Yeah."

"We should go inside."

"Maybe."

"I think we should go inside."

So we went inside. I lit one last cigarette before tossing it into the ground, sneaking back into the shelter corridor where all the other boys were sleeping and slipping under the blanket with Emil. Noticing I had been gone, he groaned and turned toward me. We were both awake.

"Lukey,"

"Yes?"

"Were you smoking again?"

I was surprised he even knew what that meant at such a tender age. "Yes."

"Why do you smoke, Lukey?" He asked.

"Because it's calming."

"It smells really bad."

"Yeah, it does."

And with that, he fell asleep. I did not fall asleep for many long minutes when I noticed the sound had returned outside the corridor, lurking in the corners of the darkness, and I shivered, holding Emil a little tighter than I had before.

It was at that moment that I wanted Mathias' embrace more than anything.

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><p>Life went on in the shelter. Every week each of the boys and girls strong enough to work rotated tasks between serving food, cooking it, making beds, cleaning beds, collecting donations, cleaning the toilets, and the like. Toris had been assigned with serving food, a natural charmer to the hungry homeless; Feliks was put on donation duty, and I was in charge of making beds and washing those that had been soiled with the urine of children. Among us, there were not many teenagers. Many of the people that made up the shelter were most elderly men without a job and single mothers with many children. Occasionally, a family would show up and other runaways would be taken in, but most of those runaways were later taken to the orphanage when there were spots open. It was unusual for every orphanage in the area to be filled up, especially at this time of year, but even though there weren't many to begin with it seemed unlikely that all would be full in mid-February. For two long months now it had been that way.<p>

Emil watched me as I folded dirty sheets and replaced them with fresh ones, grimacing at the ones that had been stained and smelled strongly of old urine. It was the same routine over and over, making the beds of over a hundred people, and Emil would help me when I was tired. Today, he did not help, but sat on the ground and picked at a stray string on his shirt.

"Emil, don't sit on the floor. It's dirty."

"But I want to sit on the floor," he said.

"Your butt will stick to the floor if you sit there for too long."

He giggled. "You said a bad word, Lukey. You said "butt"."

It was a refresher to have such innocence brought into the shelter, and I admired Emil's strength for enduring such a chaotic life in the mere four years he had been alive. His birthday would be in June, a month after mine, and when I found the money I was going to send him to school. He deserved an education, after what he had been through, and I was going to get us out of the shelter no matter what it took.

He tapped his fingers against the concrete. "Can we visit Miss Kya today?"

I stopped what I was doing and turned to him. I felt numb.

"No, Emil. We can't visit Kya today."

"Why not?" The genuine innocence in his voice was almost unbearable.

"Because," I started, but throat beginning to grow tight. "because we just can't."

He was quiet for a moment, staring at the ground. "Do you miss Miss Kya, Lukey?"

"Yes, Emil. I do miss her."

"Are you going to marry her someday?"

My throat grew tighter. "No, Emil. I'm not going to marry Kya."

"Are you going to marry Mathias?"

By then I was close to breaking, feeling the sting of tears prick to corner of my eyes, and at that I picked up Emil and tossed him in the air before carrying him on my shoulders, laughing a fake laugh all the while."

"You're an airplane, Emil," I laughed.

He shrieked with laughter. "Look, Brother! I'm flying! I'm flying!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, thinking of what Toris had said the night before.

We did not play airplane again after that.

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><p>The forecast that night was once again scattered clouds among a pitch black sky. The day at the shelter had dragged along miserably like a wet rag, and nothing more happened after my chores were done. Toris, Feliks, Emil, and I ate a lunch of boiled potatoes, beans, and milk to drink as the two lovers laughed and told us stories of their time back in Moscow. I did not speak much, just the occasional "really?" or "that's nice", and Emil played with his food for most of the time. After that, we went about the rest of our day playing cards and once again eating boiled potatoes and beans for dinner- dessert: plain applesauce. I tucked Emil in bed once the sun had descended the lay on my side of the cot, drowning in Feliks' obnoxious snoring and dripping water from the sink in the washroom. I needed a smoke.<p>

Quietly, I reached for my coat and boats and snaked my way around the mass of cots clumped next to each other. Toris did not wake this time, and I did not bother to wake him- he looked content with a leg draped around Feliks' stomach and the other gripping onto his pillow like a child.

I made my way outside into the biting wind of the Drammen night. The temperature had dropped significantly since the morning, without a doubt below freezing, and my fingers fumbled with my lighter as I tried to bring the cigarette to life.

"Shit, come on," I swore, tossing the stick into the ground and pulling out another one. I was met with the same fate as the first, and realized I would not be smoking tonight.

The air was uneasy tonight. I needed a smoke. There was something strange that roamed that I could not place my finger on, and I did not like it. I _really _need a smoke.

And then I heard it. The noise.

"If you need a lighter, I've got one you can use."

Reacting instantly, I snapped to attention and grabbed the intruder by the collar of their overcoat, smashing them against the wall. My lighter and cigarette packet had long since dropped into the abyss of snow.

"Who are you and what the fuck do you what," I hissed. Our faces were so dangerously close I could feel the shortened breath of the other against my lips.

I pressed him harder against the wall, attempting to choke him. I didn't realize how much stronger I had gotten over the past months. "Well? What do you want you filthy piece of—"

"Norge, gah, it's me! Lukas, it's me! It's Mathias! It's me!"

The voice came out strained and rough, but there was no mistaking it as hauntingly familiar. I loosened my grip on the stranger's coat, looking past the darkness of the night and saw a pair of frightened blue eyes and a trembling lip.

"Mathias?" I whispered, letting him go as he coughed and pressed his hands against his chest has he gasped overdramatically for air. I knew of nobody but Mathias that would act such a way in the current situation.

"Hiya, Norge," he said, flashing that dorky smile has he regained his composure. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out something hard and metallic. My heart would not stop throbbing. "I found your pin."

I was stunned. Absolutely and completely stunned. There was no other way I could put it, no other words that could express that emotions that began to erupt within me. Don't cry, I told myself, don't cry, but the longer I started at Mathias the more I faltered.

Then, I slapped him.

"Are you fucking _stupid _you bastard," I screamed. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to show up? Do you, idiot? Two fucking months, Mathias, let that sink in!"

"Norge-"

"Don't you fucking "Norge" me, asshat! Do you even understand how worried I was? I thought you were dead, you shithead!" Tears had begun to well in my eyes, my voice shaking with an uncontrollable force as hot tears spilled down my face.

"I thought you were dead," I repeated. "I thought you were dead..."

A noise escaped from my mouth before I flung toward him in embrace, running my hands over his cheekbones, his hairline, and I kissed him with such ferociousness I did not know I was capable. His mouth opened against me, pulling me in close as his hands gripped onto my belt as our teeth clashed, but we did not stop. I kissed him until I was breathless and my lips were swollen, feeling our hearts synchronize with each other.

"God, I never thought I'd see you again," I whispered against his lips, kissing him again and again until we were both gasping for air and our hand were tangled in each other's hair and clothing. "I missed you so damn much."

This is what I had been holding back this entire time. Never once had I acted so passionate around Mathias, never once had I been so desperate to breathe in his scent and feel his lips against mine. This was not like me at all, and although I kept telling myself over and over again to stop, I would not stop.

"Norge," he murmured, pressing his nose into my hair. I wanted him, I wanted all of him. The reunion was overwhelming, something I had never expected, and never once in my life had I wanted anybody so badly.

"Fuck you, Mathias. God, you're an idiot, Mathias."

"I know I am," he said, grabbing me and pressing me against the wall, kissing me hard and urgently as his tongue grazed over my lips and I let him in with ease.

I needed him. I needed the relief, the comfort, everything I had been missing out on for the past two months. It had not occurred to me how much I need him until just then, as he kissed me against the wall of the shelter and refused to let go.

"How did you find me," I asked in between kisses.

"It wasn't hard."

"God, you're so stupid."

The impromptu rendezvous went on for several more minutes before I broke away, realizing what I was doing. I was a shelter boy now, with friends and a little brother and a life that I could not burden Mathias with. The runaway had gone through enough, and after having finally forgotten about him I was not ready for this; for any of this.

"Mathias, I can't," I finally said. "I can't see you."

"There's nothing in the law against it," he said, kissing me once more before I broke away after only a few seconds.

"No, I mean I can't be with you, you idiot. I'm a shelter kid now, Mathias, you know that. I'm not going to burden you or Kya with this. I don't want that."

"You're not a burden, Lukas", he murmured, his lips hot against the bare skin of my neck. "You're not a burden. I had to see you."

"Does Kya know?"

"No."

"Mathias, you need to go back to Oslo. They're going to be looking for you again."

"Don't care."

Before he could kiss me again, I stopped him. "Mathias, no. Please. I can't." My cheeks began to stick with tears frozen against my face. "I can't. This is my life now."

"I'm going to find a way to get you and Emil out, Lukas. I promise you that. It may not be today, and it may not be the day after that, but I'm going to get you out. When I turn eighteen, you're coming with me."

He kissed me again, long and hard, before we heard footsteps padding across the porch of the shelter; I had not even heard the door upon. The anonymous figure clicked the door shut a few moments later and went back into the shelter.

"I have to go now," I told him, holding him.

He held me just the same. "When can I see you again?"

"I don't know, Mathias. I don't know."

He released me and took my face in between his palms. "Look at me, Lukas. Think of me, alright? Whenever you feel like your life is shit, think of me."

He brought my hand to his lips. "Remember how much I love you, you hear me?"

We kissed one last time, before he departed, disappearing into the winter like he had on that cold December morning. My pin was still in my hand, vibrating in my palm and my hands began to shake, and I fell to the ground and began to sob for a long, long time. I kept telling myself it was a dream, and that I would wake up any minute now with Emil by my side and Feliks waking everybody with his snoring.

I began to believe it truly was a dream when June 6th passed and there had been no word from Mathias.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: YOU GET AN OOC, YOU GET AN OOC, EVERYBODY GETS AN OOC! …But in all seriousness this chapter was completely and entirely improvised and I'm sorry that it is horrendous.**

**Weren't expecting an update, huh? After a year-long hiatus, I wasn't really expecting one either. But here I am, updating this shitty-ass thing because although I'm no longer in the fandom anymore because I like my readers too much to abandon this fic entirely. Since I started writing this almost three years ago I've changed a shit ton of things regarding the plot and LORD have mercy after reading through some of the chapters I need to revise the absolute living hell out of my old writing. I'll probably revise this chapter later when I have time because good God I need to expand on it. Consider this an appetizer, if you will. ****But in all seriousness we all know I'm probably not going to expand on this chapter because I'm hella busy 24 hours at a time.**

**Thanks again for reading my shit, y'all. I haven't been as dedicated as I would have liked, but I truly do appreciate every single one of you and all the support you've given me over the past three years. I'm on AO3 now but don't think I don't read the reviews anymore because my heart beats a little faster every time I see a new one in my inbox. Hearts from the loser.**

**-V.C.**

**EDIT: Well look at that. I went back and edited this piece of shit. Much better. **


	18. Chapter 17: A Change in the Weather

Y'all I'm procrastinating on getting actual work done for this shut up.

I was thinking about how I'm going to develop the rest of the plot of this fic since I completely scratched the original and I've come to the conclusion that my inspiration would come from critically-acclaimed movies from 2005, so yeah sorry it's kind of all over the place.

But think about it. SYMBOLISM.

Warning: This chapter does contain quite a bit of homophobia. I apologize if it makes anybody feel uncomfortable.

**DISCLAIMER: I don't know I guess I just like writing disclaimer at the beginning.**

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><p><em>September, 2011<em>

They transported us during the second week in September to a very large orphanage in the northern region of Drammen. We said our goodbyes to Feliks and Toris and the other runaways before we left, wishing them luck at the shelter. Feliks gave me a dirty sock with pink horses on it to remember him by- he said he didn't have anything else; Toris gave me a pack of cigarettes he found lying in the middle of the corridor and brought his index finger to his lips after sliding it in my pocket- the universal "don't ask, don't tell" sign. I kept carton with me at all times, even when I had used up all the cigarettes and it was empty.

They said they wanted us to find a family. "You need to live with a family if you've ever going to grow up right," is what they said- what the social workers said, I mean. They said it mostly in terms of Emil being raised by a family, and shot me a dirty look as if I had neglected my brother all together and had an ill-certified proclamation of ownership over him. I would be eighteen the next May, which implied I would be separated from my brother. I refused to let that happen.

The orphanage was not much smaller than the shelter, standing tall against the sky, constructed of fading reddish-brown bricks and structured windows and doors that looked like they had been taken from a nineteenth-century novel. It had been raining the day we arrived, strings of rain drizzling into pools that lie below our feet. It was a cold rain, gray clouds obscuring the falling sun, and beneath my jacket I shivered. Birds flew overhead, and I remembered seeing a building quite like before when my family and I had taken a trip to New York City before my mother got pregnant with Emil. People did not flock from these buildings, yet they did not avoid them; quite, narrow buildings with families inside gathered and laughing on their living room carpet. I could only hope I could give Emil that same sort of happiness those families had in such a building.

The interior of the building was as basic and melancholy as its exterior. The main corridor was made up of a long hallway with ten doors on each side, the hallway breaking up into two other corridors that I would soon find out would lead to a mess hall, a large lounge hall, and two staircases leading opposite of one another to even more identical rooms. Emil and I would have a room on the third floor- room fourteen.

And that was that for the following months. We did not speak to anyone; we ate alone, with each other, never made a solid effort to converse with the other orphans. For Emil, it was out of shyness and fear. For me, it was out of utter apathy and lack of any motivation to speak to another living soul. And for the most part, they did not want to talk to me- they stayed in their own little posses of blond hair, Norwegian blood; and then others of different ethnicities and languages tended to stay with the children whom spoke their mother tongue.

In retrospect, the orphanage is actually quite empty aside from maybe a quantity of handfuls made up of boys and girls varying from ages before their first birthday and before their eighteenth. Whilst Emil had many young children his age to play with, I was one of the few adolescents there already in high school. I did not trust the other kids my age; the aura they carried was not pleasant and was very unusual.

It was during the second month I was there that I met Gilbert and Ludwig.

How I had never seen them before was something I couldn't quite grasp, despite them being at the home far longer than my brother and I had, but their greeting came with a punch-literally-that prompted me to take a formal disliking to them immediately. Gilbert was the younger of the two brothers, an albino with light skin and white hair and dark red eyes. He had a certain haughtiness to him that I did not like, and was quite find of quoting himself beyond his narcissism. Ludwig, on the other hand, was far more stoic. He had a menacing and stone-like appearance to him, blond hair nearly combed back at all times and sharp blue eyes and revealed the Aryan blood coursing through him. It occurred to me that the brothers looked nothing alike, nor were their personalities very similar, but then again, neither were Emil and I.

But, Gilbert had, in fact, punched me the first time I met him.

"Look at fag-boy smoking all proud out here. Why are you even in here, fag-boy? Mom and Dad didn't want a fag?"

I was in the courtyard smoking the pack of cigarettes Toris has smuggled for me, having not touched them since Emil and I had first arrived at the home. Autumn in Norway was exceptionally cold, and my patience was being tested as Gilbert tried the put out my cigarette by blowing on it. Was this guy really that stupid?

"And who the fuck are you to be trying so sly?" I hissed, taking a slow drag from the cigarette.

The albino let out a whistle, placing his hands in front of his face.

"Ooh, fag-boy thinks he's cool with that cig in his mouth. Take a look at this guy, bro." He motions to his brother. "How pathetic is that?"

"You're being unreasonable, Gilbert," Ludwig shot back coolly. "But you are rather pathetic, uh-"

"Lukas."

Gilbert's mouth creeped into a smile. He smirked then laughed.

"He even has a fag name! Isn't pure gold?"

"Gilbert, it's too goddamn cold outside. Let's just leave him alone and if he wants to kill his lungs he can do that."

I could tell Ludwig was also having his patience tested by his brother.

That's when Gilbert took one last look at me, smirked, and punched me square in the face.

I was out cold for at least twenty minutes. Being in a vulnerable state by smoking your lungs out in the snow puts you in no position to be winning a fight. This is what the infirmary nurse told me; a young woman with wavy blond hair cute in a bobs and green eyes soft calming. She reminded me Elizabeta in a way.

From that day forward, we were banned from being out in the courtyard by ourselves. It seemed as though adult supervision was the only solution to taming a bunch of rowdy teenagers, deemed suitable by the owner of the place. In actuality, it only made Gilbert hungry for more; hungry for pleasure in making sure he /knew/ he was better than anyone else.

And to make matters far worse, the delinquent was my roommate.

The rooms of the home were separated by age group, gender, and fit approximately two people within the small corners of the room. Emil, who was five now, was allowed to be on his own, and he did not like that at all.

"But I want to be with you, Lukey," he cried the first night we arrived, big tears rolling down his face as he clutched Mr. Puffin tightly to his chest. It would not be so easy to explain this.

I knelt down to his level and patted his little head. "I'm just across the hall, Emil. If you get scared you can crawl in bed with me and nobody will have to know.

"But what if I get lost?"

"I won't get lost. I'll leave my door open a crack so you'll know which room is mine."

I picked him up, resting him on my hip as he clutched onto the collar of my shirt and refused to let go. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Emil's roommate was already sleeping soundly by the time lights out had been called and I brought my brother to bed. I had to pry him from my shirt to get him into bed, tucking in the sheets and checking for "monsters" upon his request; then I kissed his little forehead and went my separate way. As much I loved my brother, it was time I taught him how to start being a bit more independent. In a place like this, we needed each other more than anything, yet it was also a place where we couldn't rely on each other all the time. And knowing that, it killed me.

I hadn't even made it halfway across the hall when I heard the padding of Emil's feet across the wooden panel floor and a tug on my shirt, and I turned around and there he was.

"Lukey," he said with tears pinpricked in the corners of his eyes. "Can you sleep with me tonight?"

And that was that. Up until the time I first met Gilbert I had slept in my brother's room with him, holding him close as he snuggled into my chest and I cried when he had finally drifted into sleep. More than anything, Emil was the strong one here. I couldn't go a day without crying silently for our own well-being; and that first night where he curled up next to me and whispered he loved me before falling asleep, I knew I had to do whatever it took to protect my brother from being taken away from me.

Gilbert wasn't that much different in that sense. He was the older of the two brothers by only fourteen months, as I had later found out, and from observation I knew he cared for his brother as much as I did, despite him being a dick toward every new person he met. The way he cared, so ironically, for his loved ones…he reminded me of somebody in that way.

I made no move to tell any of the other orphans about Mathias, or Kya, or Elizabeta. They would ask, such as a young blond girl with a heavy accent to whom Emil had befriended, but I was clear that he would not speak of it. Even I wouldn't speak of it. Yet, I still remember the determined looks in Mathias' eyes where he found me at the shelter; his lips on mine was so terrifying yet so electrifying. His words were what stuck with me the most.

'I'm going to get you out of here no matter what.'

The next day, the day after I last same him, we were moved. I hadn't heard from Mathias since. I was a fool for believing him.

It wasn't long into the early weeks of arriving that our caretaker and the owner of the orphanage had enrolled Emil and me in school. Yes, orphans still had to go to school, and while he was at the primary facility I was at the secondary facility, the high school, although it wasn't so much of a privilege as it was a nightmare.

"We want him to be enrolled in the eleventh grade instead of twelfth," Yekaterina, our caretaker, told the headmaster of the school as I sat slouched in the chair next to her. She was Ukrainian, with large breasts and a tearful gaze, and not once did I see the headmaster remove his eyes from her breasts.

"Well, how old is he right now?"

She faltered. "He's uh..."

"Seventeen," I mumbled from beside her. I was craving a cigarette.

The headmaster nodded, taking a note as he shifted the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Well, he'll need to start at the grade he left off on. When were you last enrolled in school, Lukas?"

I didn't even know the answer to that question.

"Some three years ago," I answered.

He nodded again. "And when did you stop?"

"April of 2009."

Another nod. "I see. So from where you left off, that would make you a freshman, correct?"

"I guess."

"Well, because you didn't complete the year in its entirety you will have to redo the grade."

He leaned forward. "I don't mean to pry, but why did you drop out, anyhow?"

I scoffed. "I had to take care of my younger brother and education was not the first of my priorities.

"Hmm," he hummed. "Well, we'll be happy to have you here. We just need to you sign some paper work and..."

And that was that. I was a seventeen-year-old freshman in high school and I was humiliated. Emil had never been enrolled in school before, so he was taken to the orphanage daycare instead, which he didn't mind. He would have to start preschool soon anyway. Still, I begged the headmaster to allow me into the twelfth grade.

"Please, sir," I prompted. "Just because I haven't been in school doesn't mean I haven't been keeping up with my own work."

The headmaster sighed. "I'm not the one to decide this."

"Then who the fuck is?!"

Yekaterina, horrified, looked as if she was about to cry as she scolded me in front of the headmaster, cursing me in a fit of Ukrainian profanity before turning back to the headmaster.

"I'm so sorry, sir. Please excuse his language," she said, pulling on my ear like a mother would to her misbehaving child.

The headmaster laughed. "Well, he most certainly does have a strong vocabulary," he joked. He then looked up at me, now serious. "We'll see how he does for the first week here and if he's able to pass, then he can stay in the twelfth grade. If not, we're going to have to move him down a few grade levels to where we think he'll be most comfortable in succeeding."

And that was that. At least the humiliation wouldn't be nearly as brutal as being the eldest student in the beginning stages of high school.

Oh, how naïve I was.

I had proved myself worthy of being in the grade level I was a week after the headmaster had asked me to qualify as such, and I was allowed to stay. That didn't make it any easier, though, and despite holding a solid reputation during the first month of school by hiding away in the shadows, it only got worse as the months went by and the material branched out into things I had never heard of before and could not even grasp. English was the worst of it all.

After vacationing to America several times before Emil was born when my parents were still alive, I had taken a rather adequate understanding of the English language with me. I was fluent, but I understood it well enough to where I could speak it in solid sentences. Or so I thought.

It was during the last week in November when I began to struggle as the teacher began to notice how I generally avoided speaking at all costs.

"And Lot's…" I struggled. "Lot's…"

"Wife."

"And's Lot's wife…of course, was told…"

And that's when I faltered, earning a symphony of snorts and giggles from the other students, who were obviously adept in comprehending the language of Kurt Vonnegut. The teacher sighed, asked another student to read, and then pulled me aside after class.

"Lukas, I don't understand why we've been struggling so much lately. You used to be a fine student."

As if I had suddenly turned into a bad student.

I did not look him in the eye when I spoke. "I'm sorry, sir. I'll try better next time."

"If you want, I can offer you some after school tutoring. The English language isn't the easiest for some students."

That was when I had enough. "What, because you think I'm not a star student anymore?" I spat. "I can read whatever I damn-well want in English and I don't need extra tutoring.

I snatched the book from off of his desk, flipping to the page where we had left off in class. "And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people…those people…and…"

I looked up as a wave of sympathy began to roll into my teacher's face, and he looked at me with pleading eyes as a put a hand on my shoulder.

"Lukas, I just want what's best for you. I'd be happy to arrange something if you'd like."

I could only nod in defeat at that, shuffling out of the room and out of the school in a two mile trudge back to the orphanage. I was not met with any support from my roommate as I plopped my stuff onto my bed and turned so I was facing the wall adjacent to him.

"What's the matter, fag-boy?" he snorted, leaning over my motionless body. "I heard you couldn't read today. Is that true, little dude? Couldn't read a simple book because you're illiterate? You're pathetic."

He spit on the back of my shirt and promptly began to walk out of the room before he stopped. "You have a brother, right? What do you think he'll do when he finds out his older bro is trash? He's not gonna look up to you anymore. He's going to think you're as much of a loser as everybody else does."

My blood began to boil with rage at that. Really, I didn't give a shit about what he said about me. But when it came to my brother…that was a line I made sure nobody would ever dare to cross.

"So what if I am?" I spat, continuing to look toward the wall, not moving. There was a river of cracks running down the wall and several small speckles of paint bubbles.

Gilbert stopped where he was. "What did you say?"

This time, I rolled toward him, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What if I told you that yeah, I'm a fag, and yeah, Emil knows, and yeah, he's not a pretentious asshole about it like you. What would _your _brother say if he found out his older brother is a dick that's like's to make fun of others' sexuality?"

The albino paused first, and then let out a hearty laugh. "My brother hates fags like you just as much as I do."

"I'm not so sure about that. It looks like he pities you, almost, because he knows how pathetic _you _are."

I had set off a ticking time bomb, and I knew it. Gilbert took a step toward me. There was nothing joking about his eyes anymore- now, their vermillion color looked the same as blood.

"You wanna say that again?" he growled, he breath hot on my face. He looked like he wanted to kill. "You wanna say that again, you fucking fag?"

So I did. "You're just as pathetic as I am."

I'm not sure who threw the first punch, but the minutes following consisted of screaming and punching and hair pulling and blood, blood everywhere. It didn't take long before a crowd had formed and I was on top of Gilbert, pinning him to the floor until I had make his entire face look the same as his eyes.

"Don't you ever, _ever_, insult Mathias," I screamed, my bloody fist meeting with his even bloodier face.

Shockingly, he was able to speak through punches. "So the little fag has a little fag boyfriend, too?"

Those were the words that he knocked him unconscious, children chanting for the fight to go on by the time Yekaterina had run into the room and shrieked when she saw the scene and the condition of the other boy on the floor. I couldn't be stopped at this point, continuing to throw kick and scream even after she and two other boys had pulled me off of Gilbert, a mixture of tears and warm blood sticking to me face and I struggled to break free.

"Let me go! Let me go," I screamed. "He's a prick, he's a monster!"

"Get ahold of yourself, Lukas," Yekaterina cried, getting the two other boys, Vash and Sadik, to pin me down to the floor as Ludwig rushed to his brother's side. She ordered the crowd to go, telling them to go back to whatever they were doing before, and with a few disappointed groans they did. "What is this all about, Lukas?"

"He called—he called me—"

"Lukey?"

And then came the horror. Emil was standing in the doorway, looking from me then to Gilbert then to Yekaterina then back to me. Mr. Puffin was dangling from his left hand. "Why is Ms. Yeka yelling at you?"

He took another look at Gilbert, noticing how the blood on his face coincided with the blood that stained my knuckles, and when he made the connection he began to wail. "No, Lukey! We don't hurt other people," he cried. He was visibly shaking. "That's bad! You said hurting people is bad!"

"Emil—!"

"You're mean, brother! I hate you! I hate you!"

With that, he ran back to his own room as Yekaterina went after him, and as I tried to struggle free Vash and Sadik held me down and refused to look go until I felt like I was drowning in the blood rushing to my head. Emil, my own brother, the one I vowed to protect, had told me he hated me. I had almost killed a kid and my brother hated me for it. My brother hated me.

I threw up for five minutes straight before I had nothing left to vomit, followed by my mind blacking out.

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><p>Did I mention that I got a job? I got a job.<p>

It was the only job in Drammen that was hiring and I figured that working at an aquarium store after school every day was much better than going back to the orphanage immediately only to be place in solitary confinement until the next morning.

After the standoff with Gilbert, we were both rushed to a hospital about twenty miles away. I got away with a fractured rib and a few wounds on my face that would not take long to heal, yet Gilbert was in far worse condition. It turned out that I had, literally, almost killed him as he was admitted to an overnight stay in the hospital for two weeks so he could heal. He ended up with a broken nose, a broken arm, four fractured ribs, and a face almost unidentifiable from the swelling. I never knew so much power brought into a simple fight could almost make me a murderer.

The school found out about the fight, and although it wasn't on school grounds, they were still obligated to put me into counselling.

"Mr. Bondevik, I wanted to talk to you about something that might help with this," the school guidance counselor, Mr. Honda, told me one day as I sat in his office during my lunch break. He was a small man in his late forties with a very think Japanese accent that made it difficult to understand him at times. Apparently, before moving to Norway, he was considered one of the top psychologists in Japan. It didn't make sense to me why he was working as a guidance counselor in a high school instead of doing something more professional.

"I don't need help, Mr. Honda."

"Mr. Bondevik, your teachers and I have both noticed that you've been struggling with your schoolwork since the start of last month. We don't think you can handle it."

"I can handle it fine, sir," I spat.

He was unfazed by this. "You may think that, but I don't think you can." He took a sip of his tea. "It's okay to admit you can't do something, Lukas. Your caretaker had informed me of your situation and I think that's part of the reason why you're struggling so much. I'm not in any way against you continuing this year and graduating, but I also highly recommend we move you to some lower level classes so you can comprehend all the stuff you missed when you weren't in school."

I huffed. Was this guy being serious?

Mr. Honda stirred his tea for a bit before continuing. "If it isn't too personal, if you don't mind me asking, who is the young man that is provoking this?"

That was unexpected.

"Huh?"

"Ms. Braginskaya mentioned a young man to me that you happened to bring up as you were fighting another student. His name is Mathias?"

Where had that come from?

"Sir, he has nothing to do with this."

"It seems like you must care about him a lot for you to nearly kill another young adult like yourself for saying something negative about him."

I felt my cheeks growing hot. It baffled me how he could catch on so quickly after nobody else had; after having only known him for a few months.

He continued. "Don't worry, I have nothing against who you love and who you don't. But if you're comfortable talking about it, I'd like to know why you punched Mr. Beilschmidt in the first place.

"I—" I didn't know how to start. "This isn't—this has nothing to do with Mathias. More than anything it, uh, it has to do with my brother."

He nodded. "Ah, Ms. Braginskaya did mention you have a younger brother. She says you two are attached at the hip."

My throat began to grow tight. "Yeah…we've been with each other since he was born."

"Is there something wrong? You seem to be growing a little tense."

"No, I—"

Suddenly, a mess of tears began to stream down my face in warm layers, and I told the guidance counselor whom I had only known for a few months everything that had happened in the past three years- from my parents dying, to our house burning down, to the entire affair with Mathias, to us living in a shelter with Toris and Feliks, and then finally to the events that had happened only recently in which I had nearly killed Gilbert and my brother told me he hated me.

As I finished, I had gone through three separate tissues and Mr. Honda had already finished his tea and was pouring another has he continued to keep his focus on me.

"Lukas," he started. "I had no idea that happened. I'm very sorry."

I had no response. I continued to sob into my hands. This was so embarrassing, crying in front of somebody I barely knew. I couldn't say it was the first time, though.

The man took a long sip of tea before exhaling and looking at me for an even longer moment. "You know, in my twenty-five years of working as a guidance counselor I've never heard a story quite like yours." He moved to pull something from out of the drawer attached to his desk. "If it means something, I think I might have something that will help. There's a job opening at a local aquarium just a few miles from here. I've heard from other students that working with animals is a great way for them to break away from all of them problems for a few hours. I think it might help you."

And that's how I got working at an aquarium gift shop every other day after school and on the weekends. In Mr. Honda's defense, it was quite a relaxing job after all. In the afternoons, I was surrounded by nothing by nothing but a big open space of blue and water that I knew could not drown me, and on the weekends parents would bring their children to look at the fish. Seeing their smiling faces as the gaped at a whale shark smiling back at them was certainly a sight to see. I reminded myself to take Emil there someday.

Life went on as usual, though, and handing souvenirs to children and young couples on a first date had turned into a normal routine for me. I liked it, and as Mr. Honda had promised, it slowly started to calm my mind down.

What I wasn't prepared for was the unexpected consequences of working in a popular attraction.

Before I knew it, on a mellow Sunday afternoon Berwald Oxenstierna was standing right in front of me.

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><p><strong>AN: I honestly had no intention of making Prussia/Gilbert this douchey, but know that it doesn't make me love him any less. …But let's be honest, he can be a true dick at times.**

**This chapter may be over 5k but it's hella rushed so I apologize for that. I was in a bit of a hurry to get it done. It's also worth noting that I'm going to go back and edit the earlier chapters, because your writing changes quite a lot after three years, so if there's ever an update notification in the next few days, that's why. And yes, that is **_**Slaughterhouse Five**_** that Lukas is reading. It's one of my favorite books of all time.**

**The next installment should be out whenever I'm not obsessing over Eternal Summer and when I finish summer school. If you want to check out the audio post I made after writing this, you can find it on my Tumblr: arminspants (I can't post the link so yeah that's my url). Thanks again, you nuggets.**


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